DS 7 is waiting for ADOS although the paed agrees that he has AS/ASD.
When I read about the high % of our children that end up with MH problems it makes me feel sick to my stomach.
He is only 7, and he is telling me that he is scared all the time in school in case he does his work wrong and gets a yellow card.
There have been a couple of incidents with y6 boys tormenting him, his name rhymes with confused and they would follow him around chanting. That was sorted out but the same boys have started again this year with various torments. School have reprimanded them but a couple of days after it starts again. i wouldn't go as far as to say it's bullying any other child would most prob deal with it OK but he has really low self esteem so it does affect him. it isn't him telling about the other kids it is my dd who is also in y6.
He hates school and always has done since nursery, he has no friends in or out of school and walks around the playground alone.
He is in MS and soesn't get any additional support as he is coping atm or so school believe but I am worried it is all going to coming crashing down. i want to be proactive not reactive I asked for a homeschool diary last year, they reluctantly agreed but only filled it in three times from May-July and this year haven't sent it home at all. The EP recommended a quiet place for him when the sensory overload got to much but nothing was put in place. it was wet play last week, when I asked about his day he was able to tell me it was "grim" because it was wet play and the noise hurts him, plus he isn't getting a break form the sensory overload of the classroom. If i go in school i feel like they are going to have me down as an over anxious mum although my dd's have attended the school and I wasn't in all the time about them because they had no probs.
To hear my seven yr old telling me his is stressed and scared breaks my heart and if he is this anxious now what does the oncoming years hold.
p.s Also I think I have annoyed the HT. last winter work was being done on the playground. A skip wagon drove on to the playground and the dc were told to "move out of the way" ds panicked and ran straight in front of it (near miss) and was shouted at for being a silly boy. I went in and complained as to why they would allow it to be drove on the playground in icy weather when the dc were on the playground. HT apologised but when the questionnaires at the end of the year were sent out one of the Q's was rate how safe your child is in school. I commented about this incident. From what I have read on here they are ofsted questionnaires??.
I had to cross the playground this year and there were council vans parked on, HT was there and he said to me "don't worry the dc were in class when they drove on" It only dawned on me that this was related to the Q I had filled in later on.
Sorry for the length just had to get things off my chest.
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SN children
The weight of the world on his shoulders FFS he is only 7.
purplemurple · 13/10/2011 10:37
re: the bullying, i have told him to find a teacher or his sis but he just says "he can't find them".
When I spoke to one of the other mums obviously I know them as dd is in the same class......she actually said that they do it because they get a reaction from him. He will just repeat your making me angry over and over flapping away. She actually did an impression of my ds flapping 
School do deal with it but then it flares up again.
This year it is to do with the toilets, the juniors all share. When ds is using the urinals he doesn't just get his tidge out he drops his pants and undies so his totally bare. The door is on a slow release so the older boys push the door to its limit and everybody outside of the toilets can see. They boys make sure they get everybodies attention pointing, laughing and insinuating he isn't using the toilet but doing something else.
I have told him to use the toilet instead but he is insistant that it is only used for no 2's. He tried to use the toilet without dropping his pants but managed to wee on himself so point blank refuses to do it this way.
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OP how you did not slap that mother right across her smug pus I will never know.
This isn't just playground ragging, this is serious and sustained bullying IMO and the school must take action. Write down every single thing you've written here, plus anything else that's happened and make an appt to see the HT, now. The other support stuff does need to get sorted but this needs prioritised. Your poor DS, my heart is breaking for him, and you.
I am so sorry your ds is going through this. It sounds very similar to what my ds went through when he went into year 3, right down to the toilet incidents. He is 9 now and has finally learned to use the fly on his trousers, but its taken a while for him to master it. We had the same problem with him not being able to get to a teacher for help when bullied in the playground as well and incidents that were happening out of the line of sight of the playground supervisors. The school has now changed the positions where they stand so that they have a better view of the whole are and have eliminated the blind spots. What also helped, was giving ds a couple of 'designated dinner ladies' who were informed of his difficulties, that he was being bullied and who the potential bullies were, so that they could keep an eye on him.
Your ds sounds very similar to mine at the same age, in terms of anxieties around school and bullying, fine motor and handwriting issues. I totally understand how you are feeling - its heartbreaking to see all this happening to your child and feel so helpless, but ... it can get better I promise. You need to get your great big steel-capped school-butt kicking boots on and make it happen. Don't worry if you end up being unpopular with the school/staff - its kind of inevitable really - our Head literally runs away when he sees me across the playground these days! 
My ds is 9 now, in year 5 and a million miles away from the scared and anxious little boy he was at age 7. He still has his problems and strugglesm, but the bullies have given up, he even went away on an outward bound weekend with the school last year and managed a year of swimming lessons, despite having sensory issues around water on his face - more importantly he is happy and that's the most important thing.
As others have said - and I apologise if I'm repeating anything, as I haven't read the whole thread word for word yet - you need to get the bullying stamped on straight away - that's what's eating his confidence and causing the most anxiety.
First of all, you need to write down a list of all he incidents, big and small. Arrange a meeting with the Head and supply him with a copy of the list. You also need a copy of the school's Anti-bullying policy, which they are obliged to provide you with, if its not on their website, the office has to provide you with a hard copy. Take this with you to the meeting as well and highlight everywhere they are failing to carry it out. (Our Head ended up agreeing that ours wasn't worth the paper it was written on and it has since been rewritten.)
The anti-bullying website Attila linked to is good. There are some others as well, so have a quick google and get some really salient quotes about protecting the victims of bullying to reel off as well.
Ask what the consequences are for bullies in that school and what will happen ever time there is an incident and also how this will be taken further with the 'bullies' if the first line consequences don't stop them.
Ask if there is any way he could have a job inside school in the short-term, maybe tidying the library books or something. My ds was allowed to sit in reception and read if he was too scared to go outside and this broke the bullies focus on him as a potential victim.
Another really useful thing would be from now on to keep a daily diary of everything that happens at school, every bully incident and anything else your ds tells you about his life at school, plus anything that your dd can add insight to as well. Doing this really helped us, especially when the school realised we could back up every complaint about bullying with dates, times, details etc.
Finally, the fact that he doesn't have a diagnosis is neither here nor there, the school should be identifying his difficulties and supporting them appropriately. He doesn't need to be failing academically to get a statement either - although they may well try and feed you that line. We are just going for a statement for my ds and its essentially to support his social and communication difficulties rather than his academic skills. The inclusion team locally call this an ASD Statement and they are apparently becoming more and more common as schools and LEAs realise that social and communication skills are a very real barrier to learning for some children.
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