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Am i losing the plot?

(20 Posts)
Claw3 Thu 06-Oct-11 19:52:51

Ds has come home with an IEP with 2 targets (one semantic links, other target a handwriting one) on it and 9 areas to be developed ie we are aware he has this difficulty and it needs developing.

The bit that is really getting me is the next page "monitoring and assessment arrangements" it says "Regular discussions between class teacher, ds and SENCO"

Are they winding me up or what?

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 06-Oct-11 20:28:43

No. They're not winding you up. They're just incompetent.

Write to them and say, whilst you are delighted that the will be including your ds in the discussions, it would be more appropriate given they are supposed to be working in partnership with you, that the discussions also included you, and that they state just how regular and when they are likely to occur, as a child with ASD needs to know when they are timetabled, as do you his parent to prepare him and to ensure you can make the meetings.

You can also write to them and ask them to explain how they are planning teach your ds the skills required to meet those targets so that you can support their work at home. Bet they don't know.

Claw I am always amazed to see you still standing, without any apparent mental health problems of your own. I would love to meet you one day.

MangoMonster Thu 06-Oct-11 20:38:16

Agree with starlight, they obviously haven't considered this properly. I would want to be involved if I was you.

Claw3 Thu 06-Oct-11 21:32:21

Star, i had a really good meeting with PP today, I explained and showed her proof that the information SENCO gave at Tribunal was 'inaccurate'. I told her i didnt want to force school into a corner by making them answer my questions, but that in order for me to move forward, i needed to go backwards to explain to her why i felt ds's needs were not being met.

I told her at this point i was not intending to apply for a statement and was happy to see if ds made progress with proper structured programmes in place. She said she can make school follow the recommendations made by LA experts. Which although not brilliant, will do for now until i get a statement in place.

She has asked me to list all recommendations and what i want. All ive asked for is for the LA recommendations to be followed including the NIL and for programmes to be structured ie targets, outcome, progress as per the NIL.

If they want to play games, i will play, but at least with some help in place for ds while we play. They dont know who they are messing with, im a mother grin im not sure about no mental health problems [twitch] and i would be a nervous wreck meeting the infamous Star grin

Claw3 Thu 06-Oct-11 21:46:13

Ive had one meeting with SENCO and that was when ds first started at this school over a year ago. It comes to something when SENCO would rather have a meeting with a 7 year old boy with ASD to 'monitor and assess' his IEP. Its so absurd, i dont know whether to laugh or cry!

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 06-Oct-11 21:49:14

Claw It's a tick box thingy. They always have to try and get the views of the child and show that they have. I would argue that a child with a communication difficulty needs an advocate however.

tryingtokeepintune Thu 06-Oct-11 21:52:57

Claw, I think your Senco and Senco at my ds's last school probably went to the same IEP writing class. One of ds's iep target was,' I will be able to be in the playground with my friends and have quiet hands and feet.' Under who will help me and how? the senco wrote, ' my teachers will be on the playground to watch me and my friends will walk away when I say no.'

And she wondered why I refused to sign it.

Glad to hear you are getting somewhere now. Hope something gets sorted in the meantime while you are preparing for the next step in your fight.

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 06-Oct-11 21:56:31

And ffs, I'm not scary! grin

Claw3 Thu 06-Oct-11 22:31:20

Trying, im not even required to sign it or agree to it to any way shape or form. This SENCO is very much the 'parents should be seen and not heard' variety!

Previous IEP targets include the success criteria being ds using a card several times. Then when ds didnt use the card, they claimed success because he didnt use it! hmm

Another, ds to discuss what he worries about in school several times. Success was claimed when ds told the teacher he worried about 'hurricanes', 'his kittens falling down the stairs' and 'not liking the colour of the walls' all pretty random stuff, typical of ds! Im sure his views on 'monitoring and assessment' will be mind blowing grin

A teacher who is part of the school, asking what he doesnt like about school, ds will be petrified of upsetting anyone. He will also take it literally 'what dont you like about school' he will think they mean the school building!

Claw3 Thu 06-Oct-11 22:39:09

Star, they are trying to 'up thier game' since i wrote to them and requested a copy of ds's school file.

They think im not happy and they are trying to figure out what im not happy about. They have sent home numerous forms asking for my comments and views on SALT, ASD outreach, how i feel my child is progressing etc, etc and now even an IEP (last one was October 2010)

The including ds, is because CAMHS are going into school next week. Ive made a big thing about these being ds's worries and he should be listening to within reason. He has been stating verbally, very clearly to me anyhow, what he worries about and asking me to write it in his home/school book, with the understanding that he then repeats it to his teacher.

He is very passive and wants me to make the first move for him, even more reason to include me in the meetings, i know how to talk to him, how to get him to communicate, he trusts me etc, etc

After ive had a few glasses of wine, you wont be scary at all grin

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 06-Oct-11 22:49:57

Claw, I promise you, I'm not half as scary as these people you have to constantly deal with. I'm overweight, with spots and no dress sense. I've met Justa, Lisad and Agnes, and they will tell you!

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 06-Oct-11 22:51:08

Claw, - it does sound a bit better. It's just that there is such a long way to go. You want 100, so you ask for 10 to start with to ease them in gently, - and they give you 1 and expect you to be grateful!

Claw3 Thu 06-Oct-11 23:02:52

LOL its weird isnt it when you think a lot of us have been speaking for years and dont even know what each other look like!! Im tempted to put a picture on my profile, just so i dont scare you if we ever meet grin

Ive met Agnes too.

All i want from school and the LA is the structured programmes with targets and progress, knowing full well ds isnt going to met them. He hasnt met a SALT target since he was 3, he hasnt met the shabby SALT programme in place for a year now. Its just unfortunate, we have to go through the performance of SALT giving TA a 'sheet' to work and wait another year before they realise it isnt working. I want proper structured programmes this time round to show it isnt working, rather than wasting another year.

StarlightMcKenzie Fri 07-Oct-11 10:56:44

It's okay. I have a picture of you in my head which you probably look nothing like. I also see lots of things in colours and you have always been a coo blue.

zzzzz Fri 07-Oct-11 11:07:04

Oh starlight you most certainly are not overweight and are thin long flowing tresses hippy chic in my mind with a Scottish accent....though mysteriously I have always imagined you about 23 which is odd....I refuse to even admit that you have your own looks.

I was rather shocked yesterday by my own looks. I had been wondering around thinking how wrinkly all my friends are getting. Had a look at myself and suddenly realised ME TOO! grin You see there are some positives to running around like a blue arsed fly all time for age related anxiety. grin

StarlightMcKenzie Fri 07-Oct-11 14:09:04

Okay I'm not THAT overweight, or THAT spotty, but I am a bit. And I grew up in East London, which is what my accent when left unchecked, reverts too, and I am quite used to using words such as 'ain't' and 'never' and dropping my 'th's'. Although I can and do speak 'properly' when the situation calls for it. In fact, I have been 'accused' of having a posh voice.

And flowing dresses? Think more pjs, although PLEASE do not think shell-suits or trackies with hoods and stains.

StarlightMcKenzie Fri 07-Oct-11 14:09:50

See, not scary!

(or perhaps even more scary now? hmm)

Claw3 Sat 08-Oct-11 09:23:59

Hahaha! Really! not what i pictured at all, i pictured you in Laura Ashley type dresses, rosy cheeks, blonde hair and very posh grin

I grew up in South East London, very cockney, although my mum remarried when i was 11, step father is extremely posh, so my accent is probably a combination of Vicky Pollard/Hyacinth Bucket pronounced "Bouquet" on a good day!

How do you picture me? apart from being blue like a smurf grin

StarlightMcKenzie Sat 08-Oct-11 10:37:03

Lovely clear skin, freckles, sparkly eyes and curly mousy hair. Largish frame but not overweight at all and medium height. Ethnicity white UK?

LOL You're probably teeny and Chinese though!

Claw3 Sat 08-Oct-11 15:00:34

grin no, not teeny and Chinese!

Wow not a bad guess Star, i will have to put a picture up for a bit now!

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