hello
As the title says im new to the site and i really need advice and im hoping im posting this in the right place, im mum to four beautiful kids 8 6 2 and 1. My ds2 who is 6 was diagnosed last year as havong development delays at the time he was 54 months and was working at 42 months average though he was as low as 39 at some points. I have had problems with him since he was 6 months old and i do realise this pobably sunds silly but the night before he turned 6 months old he was a happy contented little boy he hardly cried except if he was ill and was always happy to interact with you or to have free time on the floor. When i got him up the next morning he was completely different he was a stessy baby and nothing you did calmed him or consoled him. I sought medical advice as i thought he may have been poorly but was assured he was healthy and fit and i was told he was probably having an off day. The off day turned into an off week then off month and so on.
As he got older his temperment became worse and by the point he was 18 months old i was dealing with a little boy who would flit from one activity to another tantrum at the slightest thing be very aggressive hitting me and his brother he became fussy in eating would take his nappy off and toilet where ever he was (ds1 was potty training at the time so it was assumed he was trying to copy) he was very hard to settle at night often sleepingfor a couple of hours and became obsessed wih things like pressing switches and thomas the tank. I started asking the hv for advice and have been sent on numerous parenting courses, asd was mentioned at one point but at the time (ds2 was 3) i was told he was too young to be diagnosed.
In 2009 after spending time with my parents a gp finally listened after me my mum and my sister turned up with ds2 to the appointment it sounds horrible but we sat back and just left ds2 to it for 10 mins to show the gp what he was like we then listed off all the behaviours and obssessions and basically begged for help.and after 14 months of assements and tests we recieved the development delay diagnosis. Adhd and behaviour problems was mentioned as a possibility and we were sent to the hospitals snhv. We had a couple of appointments and she decided his problems were to servere for her to help so referals were made to get help else were.
I finally receieved a letter last week from cahms and he has his first appointment at the end of october which is great but in the mean time its just me to deal with him. He's still very aggressive and confontational, he is still toileting in the house and not always in the toilet no matter how simple instructions are he just cant seem to follow them. he has all but destroyed my house to the point i'm embaressed when people call wallpapers hanging off he's drawn on the walls he's tried to set fire to things with matches i had hidden (i know carry things like that in my handbag at all times ) he's broke light fittings and switches countless dvd's toys and buggys. My settee has big holes in the cushions and the back has been ripped. He constantly winds ds1 up and pushes ds3 whos 1 over and dd who is 2 is now copying him.
We dont eat processed foods i cook everything from scratch crisps and sweets are a treat now and again i keep him away from red fruit juices as i was toldthis could help as would ignoring the small things he does like his high pitch scream and copying what you say and try and deal with the worst behaviours i have also been told that until theres an offical diagnosis theres not much help available ( ds2 had an appointment last week for a medical for a statement all this was mentioned the dr said his problems was apparent but he couldnt give me the proper diagnosis as he wasnt allowed). We are living day to day on total chaos theres just me and the kids and i was hoping if anyone had any advice on how best to deal with ds2 just until we can get a diagnosis as i am really at the end of my teather and i dont know what to do anymore. I love all my kids wth all my heart but im having trouble coping with him i'm sorry for the essay i just wanted to get as much in in the hope of getting advice and please excuse spelling mistakes but im sat here with tears streaming down my face as im at a loss at what to do.
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hi new and desperately seeking advice
7 replies
cnncmummy · 07/09/2011 01:18
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