AS ds1(7) willy obsessed. grabing others. worried he'll abuse ds2.

[Oblomov]

O.k. I know title is a bit OTT. But it really is a concern.
I think its becasue I have recently read tortoises horrific thread of the problems she has recently had.
Ds1(6.10) is being assessed for Aspergers. He has always been willy obsessed. always touching it. although we often talk to him about how inappropriate this is. but it doesn't make any different. he doesn't stop.
We went to our family party at the weekend. He and his cousin, same age, were playfighting with their older cousins, and he kept grabbing their willies. and in the end, older cousins came and told us, and it all stopped. so embarrased.

he keeps showing it to ds2(2). ds2 has started grabbing ds1's in the bath. and ds1 seems to egg him on. laugh. so no more baths ?
but what if he shows him at other times?

he threatens to whip it out in communal areas, when we had a neighbours party in the communal area beside our house.
wants to wee everywhere. in the park.

in the spring. he took photographs of bottoms. of anus. my closest friend, who has 2 boys, age 6 and 3 came round. and they were all ruuning around , outside, upstairs. then we discovered that ds1 had got our camera, and persuaded the older boy to pull open his bottom cheeks and show his hole. and there were loads of photos of the youngest boys willy aswell. it appeared all instigated by ds1. and my friend and her husband, and we too, were HORRIFIED. and it happened so very quickly. so, no more going upstairs, they are not allowed. only playing in the lounge.

but it seems to be getting worse. and I have told the private pyschologist. and we do have CAHMS appointment in Jan 2011. so I will tell them.
But, I am so upset by our family party. And don't want to find myself in a tortoise situation. Poor tortoise.

what ideas should I/ must I impement ?

[TheArsenicCupCake]

I think that you treat this with a very firm line. you are aware and have already taken steps to make sure he is supervised and no upstairs playing.. And seperating bath times etc.

I would red card him everytime he does any grabbing or getting is penis out or threatening to do so.

But I would also praise lots of other good things he does so the emphasis is on the more appropraite ( sp) things..
Social stories would be another direction I would try and keep repeating until the message gets through.

I'm not sure if this would work... But could you direct his interest of his body.. Towards the the bones? There are some niffty skelaton models out there which are anatomically correct.. ( happen to have got one for ds1s Xmas pressy.. He want to be an orthopedic surgeon.. And asked for one! And he's NT!)

anyway maybe he could collect the latin name cards ( you could make these).. For the different bones.. With some info on what joint type or bone type it is.. There are soooo many facts about bones!

Not sure if that helps.. But I'd deffinatley be firm, and redirecting his bodily interests!

[purplepidjbauble]

Maybe treat it the same way you would physical aggression? Like TACC said, red card and instant time out. Social stories about public and private/appropriate vs inapproppriate. Also, work on personal space - there's loads of fun drama games for that.

HTH

[mariagoretti]

Make absolutely certain that CAMHS document it (and try to get them to include a mention in the GP letter). It's worth you telling the school as well, perhaps after you have CAMHS on board, cos if he initiates the behaviour in school, you've shown you're already aware and dealing with it as best you can.

[Oblomov]

Many thanks. Will implement the re-direction, and make sure CAHMS to list it.