Please help. 7 yr old poss aspie withholding poo

[oliviaaah]

I haven't got a dx for DS so please forgive me posting on here. He shows many ASD traits and I am waiting for a referral, so I think its only a matter of time before we join the club, wink. I'm at my wits end with him withholding his poo and wonder what strategies have worked for other people. DS has a huge vocabulary and is quite capable of arguing the hind leg off a donkey. He uses logic so well when he wants something, but still cannot accept the logic of not withholding his poo. I keep trying to help him understand but clearly its the wrong approach. I need new ideas. Tonight I got a bit weepy and had to go out of the room when he 'sent it back' whilst actually sitting on the loo. sad.

[oliviaaah]

Argh - forgot the [ ]s, but you get the idea!

[purplepidjrobin]

Can he tell you why he doesn't want to poo? Is it uncomfortable? Does he not like the sensation? Is it too squishy?

Is there a sensory issue about the bathroom - maybe he doesn't like the feel of the loo seat, or is worried about germs? Some ASD kids get stressed over pooing, haircuts, nail clipping because they see it as a part of them that is falling off...

If he doesn't like the texture, or it's hard and hurts, you can get over the counter medication to help. Ditto if it's too squishy. If he doesn't like the feel of the loo, you can probably get cushioned covers for them, or cover it in sticky-backed vinyl that wipes clean. For germs, teach him to use a toilet duck and put the lid down before he flushes

Have you tried social stories? Or a book about the digestive process could be fun - especially if it's got lots of bits about farting and burping (DP aged 45 still finds farting hilarious, it's a pretty universal boy thing I think!)

Dunno if any of this is any use, you've probably already done it all!

[wasuup3000]

You need to raise this with your GP who will refer you to a medical paed (not the same as a community/consultant paed). The medical paed will investigate whether this is a medical/behavioural prob (linked to his possible ASD) and take it from there.

[wasuup3000]

Meantime try and ignore it, just clean when necc with lots of toilet reminders. Maybe take him to the toilet and sit him down every hour for 5 mins with no comment whether he does or does not poo made to him?

[oliviaaah]

Thank you very much for your replies. Purple, I may well try a softer seat. I've seen him reluctantly lowering himself down, so that might help. In our (endless) discussions about it he has said that 1. he quite likes the feeling of 'sending it back' and 2. he is anxious about it hurting. I guess it was an instance of constipation that triggered this off, (long time ago now, over a year...) though its certainly not constipation now. Thanks Wassup, I think a trip to the doc is the next step. We ended up in A and E one time when he was clearly in a lot of pain and I thought it might be appendicitis. Even a good talking to from the A and E doctor wasn't enough to change his ways. {sad}

[Aero]

Could have written your post myself about my almost 7yo ds2 with a verbal dx of Aspergers. He's had poo 'ishoos' all his life and it's been fairly bad recently. That said, it all comes out eventually, but not without a lot of stress for us and endless soiled pants. When he does go, we make a fairly big deal about praising him, but it hasn't had enough effect to get him to go regularly!..............Watching with interest!

[lisad123isgoingcrazy]

we had this for years with DD1 and tried all sorts.
Things that helped us were:
yachult in the morning
bubbles to blow while on the loo (trying blowing out while holding in pooh, its not possible)
books to sit on the loo and read.

HTH

[purplepidjrobin]

www.amazon.co.uk/Benefit-Explained-Oneworld-Classics-Editions/dp/184749031X/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1291072429&sr=1-5&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

www.amazon.co.uk/Odd-Squads-Big-Poo-Handbook/dp/1841611689/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1291072637&sr=1-5&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21#reader_1841611689

I particularly like the look of this one...

www.amazon.co.uk/Everyone-Poops-410-Pounds-Year/dp/1569757771/ref=sr_1_12?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1291072637&sr=1-12&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21#reader_1569757771

[madwomanintheattic]

ds1 v similar. he's 9 in jan. i think we're waiting for a psych referral now. he's been seeing the paed for 2 or 3 years.

[oliviaaah]

Morning all. Thanks again for all the replies. It seems to me that no amount of talking will make any difference, and its something that is just THERE and will go away of its own accord in time. DS says he doesn't really understand it either. So Aero, I sympathise and empathise. I am absolutely FED UP TO THE BACK TEETH OF CLEANING UP POO! Lisad I'm definitely going to do the blowing bubbles thing - it can get pretty intense in there sometimes - even though I know its counterproductive - and bubbles will help make a less stressed atmosphere. Madwoman hang in there! How long has it been going on? I'd love to hear if the psych gives you any good new tips that work...and purple, the Everyone Poops 410 Pounds one is going into his Christmas stocking!

[lizE09]

Hi, not sure if this is of any help. I've used it at work a couple of times and had quite good success (not on myself I would like to add )

www.narrativetherapylibrary.com/img/ps/spoo2.pdf

Good luck

[madwomanintheattic]

he's only been soiling about 2 years. he's never been reliably dry in the day though. he thinks he can over-ride his body. (is convinced that he can physically stop himself from pooing) tbh his issues are far worse outside the house. we have been utterly brutal and instigated an in-house regime of sitting on the throne for 10 minutes after breakfast and after dinner. if we are out he just refuses point blank. even if he soils (and the world and his brother can smell it a mile off) he still claims he hasn't, and doesn't need to go to the toilet.

ah well, i'm seeing the school counsellor again today.