Oppositional Defiant Disorder

[LadyDavidson]

Does anyone have any experience of dealing with a child with ODD please.
Possible ADHD too.

[LadyDavidson]

Bump

[karaline]

Yeah, sort of, (for the lack of anyone else replying) I briefly worked with a young boy with ASD he hadn't been formally diagnosed with ODD but if you gave him a direct instruction he would often refuse flatly to do what you asked. I don't mean when asking him to stop doing something naughty but more 'we're all going to sit down and write our poems now'

After a while of watching and noticing patterns I started to feel like at the root of this refusal was anxiety. I really only worked with him for a few months but I was just starting to get to know how he expressed stress and noticed there was often similar actions and facial expressions.

It seemed to be better to come up with more creative ways, like doing the thing and asking him to help 'oh I don't know if I'm doing this right, what do you think?' or asking him and if he refused, not responding and letting him just get involved in his own sweet time. or suggesting he could just have a little go and stop if it wasn't working for him. The two factors here were, first of all he was 6 years old, which meant he was quite easy to dupe -any older and he may have been able to see through my pretty rudimentary tricks -or if i'd have been around long enough to do them a few more times and for the novelty to wear off. And sometimes it was hard to come up with an interesting way to hoodwink him into doing something, or circumstances didn't allow for it.

But it definitely really helped when I realised he wasn't just refusing to be rebellious or attention seeking, I felt like I understood it better and I found it easier to tackle.

I hope that helps, like I said earlier I don't know if it was ODD but it seemed like it might be

[PoodleNoodle]

Not sure if I'll be much help but my ds (8) has had a 'working diagnosis ' of ODD for just under a year, we've jumped through the parenting course hoop and his violent tendencies have reduced such that he no longer fits the diagnosis. As with the pp I really believe anxiety plays a massive part in his behaviour. We're now undergoing assessment for ADHD, which better fits our understanding of him - he can do a 5k run before school and still be full of beans at bed time and he struggles a lot with concentration. My main concern for him is the anxiety.
Where are you in the assessment process OP?
And it's bloody hard work whatever the label ends up being x

[LadyDavidson]

Thank you Poodle.
It's a friend's child so I'm not sure exactly. I don't think they've had a definite diagnosis.
I don't think it is anxiety, though.
I knew there would be Mumsnetters with experience.

[CityTeacher]

Taught a girl at a PRU with ODD for a few years. I would give her choices but never in a direct way towards her. Very much "OUR options are now this or that". I also use to give her an "in tray" for the day and gave her the responsibility of completing all the tasks - but in her own time.
If there was something I knew she wasn't going to like - I didn't tell her, I just let it happen. 95% of the time this was better than telling her beforehand. She must have been about 12 though, but man she could be so difficult to handle at times. Patience, and also a sense of just realising that you have. to. pick. your. battles.
People with ODD need to be in charge to a certain capacity.