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Can anyone give me some advice. School have suggested GPs for medication for DS behaviour in school

(18 Posts)
SheWhoDaresGins2 Wed 18-Jan-17 14:43:24

He is being assessed at school due to his behaviour, someone from the County Council visits him fortnightly. He has been being assessed since the beginning of yr 2

School are now saying we should be thinking about referring him to the GP to see if medication will help.

He is 8 in April and I am sat here getting myself all chewed up because I feel like I am letting him down and I have no one to talk to about it in RL.

I find the communication with the school is very limited and it can be weeks before they say they really need to meet with us. I am not a pushy parent and don't like to pester them even though I know I should. I don't understand half of what they are saying as they spend most of the meeting going on about what they are planning to put in place or what they are already doing with him to help. It always comes across that they are doing positive things with him and that it is all going well until I get a random call about how he has behaved badly in school and that we really need to meet up. We meet up and the meeting will start how he lacks the abity to concentrate, his social skills are poor, then they turn it round saying we have done this, done that, Mrs ** is doing this and he is responding well to this we will keep you informed of the next step then I hear nothing until, again he does something wrong in class or the play yard.

ADHD was mentioned in the beginning then it was Autism/Aspergers.

He is extremely intelligent and in all the top sets. It is his concentration and inability to sit still, work independantly and be quiet that is the problem. He cannot sit still, he talks constantly and I mean constantly. He takea things very personally and can also be very matter of fact regardless of whether it upsets the person he says it to.

I just don't know what to do.

Any one with experience of this?

SheWhoDaresGins2 Wed 18-Jan-17 16:16:11


alltouchedout Wed 18-Jan-17 16:24:38

Ds1 started Equasym XL for adhd 8n December. He's 10, in year 6. It has changed his life. I wish we had made it happen years ago. He's gone from being in big trouble every day to not being in trouble at all since he started the Medstead. Teacher says he focuses, he does his work, he no longer find concentration impossible. He says he has friends again, he isn't having daily arguments and fights, he's lost his feeling of being persecuted . He is so much happier.
Side effects have been difficulties sleeping and a real lack of appetite, and at times tearfulness with little obvious cause. But overall the change has been hugely positive.

alltouchedout Wed 18-Jan-17 16:25:45

*Meds, not Medstead!

SheWhoDaresGins2 Wed 18-Jan-17 16:40:59

How did you broach the subject with your GP alltouchedout

I am glad to see it has been a positive move for your DS and I am glad to read he is happier.

The friends thing is an issue here. He claims to have none because he says they make him angry by teasing him because he gets so angry. He is in a little support group which he does one play time a week where him and others of mixed ages spend time in a class playing games to encourage them to socialise. He frequently asks to spend breaks with his teacher to chat as he prefers adult company.

The school are great at things like that but not at letting us know what does and doesn't work. I am trying to get a meeting with them on Friday but this is only going to happen if the person from the county council can attend. Tey haven't even told me her professional title and only just found out this afternoon that the one he was seeing left last Summer and he now has a new one. Nothing off the county council regarding their input or findings. Nobody seems to want to enlighten me on what happens during the time they spend with my DS.

SheWhoDaresGins2 Wed 18-Jan-17 16:44:30

Oh and how are the side effects impacting your DS. I can handle trouble sleeping he struggles to switch off at night anyway. The lack of apetite would worry me. He is constantly hungry and stick thin due to his constant need to move. He cannot sit still. He fidgets terribly. The school introduced a weighted shark (he is obsessed with sharks) to encourage him to sit still in class. He also has a wobble cushion.

teainbed Wed 18-Jan-17 16:51:34

Are you in the UK? Most GPs wouldn't prescribe until a child had seen a psychiatrist so you'd be seeing the GP to get a referral not to actually start meds.

alltouchedout Wed 18-Jan-17 16:59:28

I phoned the GP surgery and asked for a telephone consultation. When the GP phoned me I said I was worried about my son and told her why- things that had happened at home, what school were saying to me, how long it had been going on. She said she'd refer us to camhs. 5 months later we saw a camhs psychiatrist, having been sent pre appointment paperwork for us and ds1 and the school to complete, which we took to the appointment. We were there for 2 hours, he was so, so good with ds1.

Ds1 is also very slender and his weight concerns me. We encourage him to eat as much as he can for breakfast, before his meddling, and in the evening, when he gets some appetite back. He was weighed at his appointment last month and will be at this week's- I don't know what their advice will be if he has lost more than a kilo or two tbh.

Maybe medication would help with your ds's fidgeting and need to move and that would help with his low weight? Ds1 says the side effects are worth it. He cannot believe how much easier he finds life on meds, he told us over Xmas, that before every day was scary as he knew he would get into trouble, fall out with classmates, etc, but he doesn't feel scared any more.

SheWhoDaresGins2 Wed 18-Jan-17 17:07:24

Ds1 says the side effects are worth it. He cannot believe how much easier he finds life on meds, he told us over Xmas, that before every day was scary as he knew he would get into trouble, fall out with classmates, etc, but he doesn't feel scared any more

That made me cry. Your DS sounds lovely and I think I will take the schools advice, mention it to the GP and get the ball rolling. MiniGin used to love school when he first started. As he gets older he hates it as he says he feels hated by everyone because of how he is and how he can't help it.

alltouchedout Wed 18-Jan-17 17:12:18

Aw thanks Gins, he is rather lovely and his loveliness is much easier to see now he's not permanently jumping around screeching and breaking stuff. Poor MiniGin sad I hope you find the help you need, he deserves to be happy as much as anyone else does.

SheWhoDaresGins2 Wed 18-Jan-17 17:17:21

And yes Tea in the uk

KingLooieCatz Fri 20-Jan-17 09:55:51

Just coming along to say DS is 8 and has just been diagnosed with ADHD and we are in the throes of deciding whether to ask for medication so it has been really helpful to read this thread, required reading for DH, who is more reluctant.

It sounds like the op's DS school is trying but not handling things as well as some schools. DS current teacher manages to give us an update pretty much daily on his behavior. Although we both work full time we are arranged so that one of us collects most days and she gives us a quick verbal update (this was part of a plan agreed with school before diagnosis). He now has clubs straight after school a couple of days a week and she puts a star chart in his bag with brief comments so we know if it's been a bad day or good day and can discuss with him. We found it was effective for him to see that we speak to teacher and find out the same day if it was bad or good. It is important that the teacher manages to find some positives! The last one never had a good word to say and that is not at all helpful.

It is not for the school to get into whether your child should be on medication! I really recommend you ask your GP for a referral, I also did this through a phone appointment, so didn't have to get DS to the GP and have him listen to a tale of woe about himself. It took 10 months from referral to see the consultant and 2 months after that we have a diagnosis. Consultant has explained the medication options in great detail, all the side effects and how they are managed etc. I'd suggest you focus on getting a referral, communication with the school and support for your child. If your DS is diagnosed there will be professionals who dedicate their lives to treating children with ADHD who will help you understand the options and make a decision. DS consultant has provided all the facts and given us space to ask questions and come to terms with whole thing before making any decisions. Also, she said there is no withdrawal at the levels they prescribe and the side effects are usually short lived, so if the side effects are really problematic, the medication can just be stopped and side effects should wear off. She also said they see the children regularly to adjust the dose until they get it right.

Other people on here can speak with more experience as DS has only just been diagnosed, but we are at the point of considering some of the issues that are on your mind.

SheWhoDaresGins2 Fri 20-Jan-17 10:22:52

Thank you for taking the time to post King

We used to have a little school/home diary that we used to write in good or bad. Then DS used to tell his teacher that I hadn't put it in his bag and his teacher used to believe him despite me repeatedly telling them I put it in religiously so we could keep up a line of communication.

I was supposed to have a meeting with them this morning. I got there only to be apologised to they had forgot to ring me to say it was postponed. The senco teacher thought his class teacher had rang and vice versa.

This is what I am up against. They are so unorganised. Your DS school sound really supportive King. I thought MiniGins was until term started after Christmas.

I lost my Granda just before Christmas and it is MiniGins first experience of bereavment. He has been very angry and the school handled it well before they broke up. What they haven't taken in to account is it is still playing on his mind. He still gets upset about a bloody car we had 5 yr ago and replaced so I can't imagine how upset he is about his great Granda. He just displays his feelings through anger which eventually turn to tears after talking him down. The school are aware of this and I have said this is why he will be more demanding of his teachers attention. He is needing some level of comfort as he is really clingy at home at the minute.

I am ringing the GP on Monday as I am still trying to sort my Grandas property out in between my shifts at work.

KingLooieCatz Fri 20-Jan-17 11:06:55

Sounds like you're having a really difficult time. DS previous teacher used to lose the home-school communication book for days at a time, plus DS has been known to hide things. Surely in a primary school classroom there is a piece of paper the teacher can scribble a happy/sad face, a start, or a sentence on! It doesn't matter if it's not in the jeffing book. Hope things improve, it sounds like you may have to keep the pressure on the school, not easy at the best of times. When we had bad times I did start noting the occasions when the teacher let us down, just in case things turned sour I would have had some ammunition. Thankfully the head teacher and learning support were good, just the class teacher, who was supply, let the side down and I'm guessing the HT considered herself fortunate to at least have a consistent long term supply teacher for the class. This year he has a great teacher, everything improved and the first positive school report we've ever had.

user1483945709 Sat 21-Jan-17 10:07:41

My GP wanted to medicate my ds, just so he could cope with school, I see this as a very last resort.

Are school doing all that they can?

Has your ds been assessed?

Does your ds have an EHCP?

My ds's school were not doing all they could. I applied for reassessment and changed school, his behaviour improved overnight, once he had the appropriate support in school.

SheWhoDaresGins2 Mon 23-Jan-17 14:59:35

The school are currently assessing him. There was a massive delay last year due to the council not having anyone available to meet with the school and us. Eventually a member of the team came back from maternity leave and got involved. Then she left and has just been replaced.

I have managed to pin them down for a meeting next week when I have annual leave. Told them ANY day next week and any time.

I have decided not to ring the GP till after this meeting.

alltouchedout Mon 23-Jan-17 15:20:28

Is it the Ed Psych they are having assess MiniGin in school? My DS has been 'on the waiting list' for this for, oooh, about two years now and still it hasn't happened.
Is the meeting with you, school representatives and whoever is involved from the council?

SheWhoDaresGins2 Mon 23-Jan-17 15:41:03

Yes meeting is with the school? His class teacher and the SENCO teacher also the person from the council.

They are wanting us to meet so they can apply for funding to get him 1:1 assistance in class. He is extremely demanding for his teachers attention in class apparently. I will find out more details when I have the meeting.

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