We've got our first ever parent-teacher meeting with DS1's key worker on Friday. Our main reason for sending him to nursery in the first place was in the hope that someone else would notice the things we do. I don't think they have, although they did mention he'd been throwing sand - I can picture exactly what happened because I know the manic state he can get in when he's tired or stressed & he'll start throwing things around while laughing hysterically & the only thing that I've found to stop him so far is holding his hands still until he relaxes a bit & then remove him & distract with another activity. The only other things they've mentioned is his refusal to paint Hates having dirty hands & that he rarely goes outside "The sun is too bright".
I very briefly mentioned our concerns in passing to one of the workers when she commented on how confident he is. He's not 'confident' he's just oblivious to being left because he doesn't have a normal parent-child bond. I said he'd been like that since he was a baby & it was one of our concerns & she laughed & said "If it makes you feel any better, my daughter's the same. She's in the room next door & always goes straight in to play." My DS1 doesn't "go straight in to play", safe in the knowledge that I'm just next door, he wanders over to a group of children & hovers nearby to watch them play.
I've been making notes of all the things we've noticed for a while but I'm finally getting round to typing it up & I've got to half a page already & still don't feel like I've captured most of the behaviours. None of them are really extreme so I can see why it might be hard for other people to see the bigger picture but it's really upsetting me writing this list of all the ways he's different to other children. It just feels so disloyal - like I'm focussing on all his negative points. He's such a lovely child most of the time & really intelligent & has the memory of an elephant. A couple of months ago, at 3y,2m, he was describing in great detail when we had our garden done 14 months before! It's not something we've even mentioned for the best part of a year & he just came out with it!
I guess the thing that's really bothering me is that I'm fairly certain I have Aspergers & I can see so much of myself in him. I hate to think that he's struggling with life the way I have & seeing it all written down just makes it seem more real! I'm dreading the meeting because if they turn round & insist they think he's "fine" Oh, how I hate that word! I'll probably tell them we're withdrawing him & walk out. Then there's the question of whether to look for a different nursery or continue with our home-ed plan & pursue the issue via the GP when he's a bit older.
I'm over-thinking this, aren't I? Can you tell I have anxiety issues?
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I'm writing a list of all DS1's Asperger traits
5 replies
BarbaraManatee · 25/03/2015 13:37
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