Teenage DS being assessed for ASD

[Ujjayi]

This post is a bit long - sorry. I started off just wanting to ask about assessment procedure but I've also kind of offloaded a whole heap of stuff I didn't know I felt too that just surfaced once I started typing.

After many years of trying to get someone to listen, DS (14) finally has an assessment scheduled for ASD. I was wondering if anyone can shed some light on what we can expect?

DS has struggled with social & physical interaction since at least 2 years old and it has become even more pronounced in his teen years, although he has learned to try and cover his awkwardness as he knows others find it "odd" (his words). He never hugs and never has done and is very uncomfortable with being physically close to others unless he instigates it. He has friends but much prefers his own company - which I had worried about because he was also bullied and I feared he was lacking in confidence or sad at being by himself. I had a chat with him a while ago about these things, together with information I had read regarding Aspergers and similar. Instead of being upset, he just beamed at me and told me "you finally understand!". Apparently, he has always felt different and known for example that his need for order and his "obsessions" didn't fit with the way other children behaved. He tells me that the penny dropped for him when they studied the Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time. They were discussing Christopher in class and his friends just couldn't understand him, whereas for DS it was a real "wow" moment when he realised he could completely relate to him.

I feel very emotional about it all. He is a truly wonderful boy and I have really struggled with the lack of physical & emotional response from him, tbh. Apologies if that sounds selfish but I do have an overwhelming sense of loss with regards to our mother-son relationship.

[TheCottage]

Hi ujjayi,
Brilliant news about the assessment! My DS is 10 and has aspergers. He was dx a couple of years ago and has a statement. He feels different from others but we're very open about his aspergers and he tells his friends and try's to explain it to them so they can understand him better. We do cuddle a lot but I have to squeeze him to cuddle as he prefers "strong touch" as opposed to light touch IYGWIM. Bit like Temple Grandins squeeze machine ( don't know if you've seen that movie). The one thing I am adamant about to my son is there's nothing shameful in having aspergers, it's just a different way of thinking. I also don't like to call it a disability it's just a lot of people are ignorant about it (in a mainstream school scenario). There's a lot to understand about it and there's a lot of help too. You just need to know what type of help you need and what is available. For example if your son has sensory issues then occupational therapy may be of help.