Behavioural problems or something else?

[Mariesthename]

I would be grateful for any advice. My second son is now six and he has always been "different". When he was younger he displayed certain obsessive tendencies and disliked changes in routine or changes in plans. I did worry a little about Aspergers or OCD but never did anything about it as I assumed he would either grow out of it or that school would pick it up. At the end of last term his teacher told me he was becoming disruptive and we discussed an IEP which was to be put in place in September. Initially I was happy that she was offering me a solution rather than simply calling him naughty. I have now found out that bis new teacher has not implemented the IEP (not sure why) but still labels him disruptive. Whilst I understand that his behaviour is unacceptable I worry that the teacher is not interested in him, only in having an easier life. He does not like football but instead prefers reading history books and cooking. When I pointed out that he struggles to make friends her response was that he should play football like the other boys! How can I help them see life from his point of view? Might he have some other needs? He is actually very intelligent so doesn't need support with learning, only with behaviour/social skills. It seems she isn't bothered that nobody lets him join in as it's his fault.

[lljkk]

Does he try to join in anything? It is a life skill worth encouraging. That may be what she's getting at.
You need to ask (higher up the food chain perhaps, like make an appointment with HT) about the IEP, why it's not being implemented.

[Mariesthename]

Yes, he does sometimes try. He can play happily on his own but often asks "Why does nobody play with me ?" Or tells me "The kids at school were mean again today" so he's not a complete loner. We have tried to explain that it doesn't matter if you're not very good at sport, just try to join in but he can't be persuaded.

[takeonboard]

There must be boys (and girls) who don't play football, can he join in with their games in the playground?
llijkk is right you need to go above the teacher regarding the IEP and you could raise the social aspect with the head too.
Good luck I hope your DS will find his place in the class and some friends soon, social struggles are hard for both of you.

[KOKOagainandagain]

Try posting on the SN children's board as there are a number of posters who have similar problems - not needing academic help but help with social skills - and have a great deal of experience to share.

[Mariesthename]

Thanks for your posts. Basically it is a tiny school so, yes, most of the boys do play football. However, the main reason I am upset is that none of them want to include him in any games but so far as the teacher is concerned he should try more. I realise she can't make them like my son but I thought maybe she could have a session discussing inclusion and differences etc. but she'd rather just agree that he is odd!