13 months waking from 1am with crying and won't be settled unless picked up

[LittleBok]

We are having a nightmare with our DS who never really has slept through the night but certainly only woke once or twice for a lost dummy but suddenly for the past few nights is waking from 12.30am screaming and losing the plot if we don't pick him up and comfort him... controlled crying is not working and I have done all the normal checklist of what it might be, tonight I am going to try leaving off his sleeping bag as he does tend to move around a lot in the night and get caught up in it so will put him in some warm PJ's and also have a Air Wrap side protection thingy to put in so it might save the dummies falling out! I'll try anything!!!

[ches]

It's probably teething. The molars hurt long before there is any sign of them at the gum, and they hurt an order of magnitude more than any other teeth. There is also a big growth spurt around a year (isn't there always one?). You will do your head in trying to figure out why and what you're "doing wrong." If your DS previously slept well he will go back to sleeping well when whatever is afflicting him passes. I suggest that you do what it takes to get all of you back to sleep as quickly as possible.

[Fliight]

Go with it.
He is crying because he needs you - it's your role to be there I'm afraid. Would he settle in bed with you, or alternatively could you climb in with him in a spare bed?

It probably is teething - when all else failed I'd sometimes give ds2 some nurofen or calpol, which helped after a while - especially if he seems in pain, one cheek is red, he feels a bit hot etc.

Don't panic, but square up to the challenge and I'm sure it will pass before long.

Forget controlled crying for this, it's not applicable - this is out of character and he's evidently trying to tell you something so please don't ignore him!

[moondog]

Try er...picking him up and comforting him then.

[MamaG]

dno't try to train him out of it

he needs you

you just have to ride it out!

[LittleBok]

Amazing that some of you feel the need to write such sarcastic and hurtful replies, I thought this website was for help and advice not cocky responses from know it all Mums, do you just look at this site waiting to pounce moondog?

As for you others, thank you, it was teething and he is now back to sleeping through. I just needed a bit of reassurance and most of the time I get that from this website...

[ShowOfHands]

I'm glad you found out what it was.

FWIW, when they start to walk/talk their sleep goes completely up the spout. When their brain is v busy working on massive developmental milestones, they cannot focus on anything else, particularly sleep. This is not hokum, it's fact. Their mind will think 'walk walk walk walk' for example and nothing else. They physically cannot self settle as their brain is working on such an extraordinary and imperative skill. You will find around this time your child moves around a lot at night, wakes and cannot settle. Often they will stand up in their cot and seem confused and upset. It's a very tough time for them. And it happens with every milestone. Our job as parents is to help them through it.

I don't think the responses you received were unfair or unkind. They are a reaction to you saying what the child's problem is (ie needing comfort) and an unwillingness to respond to this. Nightime parenting is v important to such a little child. As you have found from this last episode, your child was trying to communicate in the only way he knows ie he's in pain and is upset and all you can do is try and respond to that. In such a little child there's always a reason for this sort of behaviour and it's terribly frustrating because they cannot talk but you muddle through somehow, usually by trial and error.

I'm glad he's feeling better.