New born (4 weeks old) Sleep/ nap stories please!

[Emalina]

I am a new first time Mum, my gorgeous boy Z is nearly 4 weeks old. I need real life stories about how well your new borns slept in the day (to keep me sane!) - I feel I must be doing something wrong!

I have upset/confused myself by reading (Baby Whisperer, and looking on internet) and I feel guilty letting Z cry, but I cannot stick with the B.W. Shh/Pat method as I get too frustrated and have to leave the room. I am breastfeeding, and have more or less been keeping to the BW E.A.S.Y routine - feeding every 2 1/2 - 3 hours, but struggle with getting Z to take naps.

Some days he goes down easily for all his naps, other days he will not sleep at all in the day, except for in his swing chair, in my arms or in the sling (which hurts my back after 20 mins! Also no good if I stay still)On these days I feel panicked as I have read how crucial naps are. My H.V. says not to worry if he doesn't nap, but he gets overtired and then cries, and his eyes are all red.

I thought babies would just fall asleep when they are tired, but some days he is so tired, his eyes close, but keep opening again and after about 20 mins he starts to scream.

I asked my friend, whose little boy is now 2, but she said he didn't cry! I don't remember my Mum (who has 6 kids), struggling to get babies off to sleep in the daytime either, but she said it's too long ago for her to remember.

Is this a common problem? Please please share your experiences with me so I can not feel so isolated! Thank you

[babyphat]

imo he is too small to leave him to cry. he's freshly hatched and not long ago was being lulled to sleep in the womb! if he sleeps in your arms, in the swing or sling, then let him! yes, babies need to sleep, but they don't need to do it in a cot on their own, especially at this early age. my dd is 16 months now but at 4 weeks i would walk her in the sling (a comfy stretchy one will be better for your back than a bjorn), set myself up on the sofa for a cuddle (and mumsnet session), or let her snooze in the bouncy chair.

you're doing nothing wrong and it's all normal!!

[mosschops30]

two words 'WRAP HIM'!!!!!

I have swaddled/wrapped ds1 and ds2, (ds2 currently wrapped and snoozing on the sofa).

I know when ds2 gets tired, he will not go off to sleep naturally, I just wrap him, sometimes give him a dummy, and within 5 minutes he is sleeping

[MrsHappy]

Sounds normal to me.

My babies have both fought sleep (and will cry themselves off even when swaddled) but I think that at 4 weeks yours is just sorting himself out. Certainly at that age my DD2 would have a really sleepy day and nod off all over the place and then would have a really awake day when she would be completely wired and OTT and yell her head off. The important thing I reckon is to comfort him (swaddling is good to help them feel secure and warm, even if it doesn't help them sleep and it is a way of comforting without feeding 24/7) and I bet sometimes he will sleep wherever he is.

Before long there will begin to be a pattern to his naps. And then just think; you'll be able to pop him in the pram to go out when you feel like it and he'll sleep when he needs to while the other mothers are stuck at home shushing their babies to sleep and envying you your flexible wee chap.

[Emalina]

Thank you so much for your replies. I am feeling more chilled out now, and he does manage to nap in his moses basket about once a day. I've stopped beating myself up about letting him sleep in the swing!

I do swaddle him, and even though he seems to fight against it when I put it on I think it helps. I've been getting out and about too and he sleeps in the car seat and the pram.

I do let him cry himself to sleep sometimes - 20 mins at the most, but he has usually fallen asleep before 10 minutes are up. I have stopped worrying now that it will damage him, he gets so much love and cuddles!