Constant feeding? How long will this go on?

[loopyloo82]

Hi. I'm posting this in sleep and feeding as I'm not entirely sure what's going on here.

Anyway, my dd of 4 months had been waking 2-3 hourly for a feed through the night for the last about 3 weeks after a short but happy spell of one night-waking. I thought that was pretty tough but would now love to go back to that....bliss!

The last three nights she has slept till about midnight, waking for one feed at about half ten (bedtime at 7.30). From midnight until 6.30 she has been feeding constantly apart from 20 minute sleeps here and there. She then screams and the only thing that will calm her is the breast, and every time she will feed for ages - up to an hour. Much of this seems to happen in her sleep - even the screaming?! We are co-sleeping.

I am shattered and just wondered if anyone had been through this and had any idea of how long it might last. I can cope with regular wakings but not this regular! DD is already a big girl (off the growth charts), and although she isn't feeding loads in the day, she has at least 3 decent feeds a day as well as a marathon (up to an hour) feed before bed. We are co-sleeping (thank goodness- can't imagine getting up every time) but we can't get the hang of feeding lying down so I am still sitting up every time to feed her.

Also, she hardly naps in the day and only up to half an hour at a time so can't get much sleep in the day. She doesn't seem tired- amazingly!

Any help or just sympathy would be much appreciated.

[bean612]

Hmm, can't offer any help really, but really sympathise. My DD has always been a horrendous sleeper (and still is, at 1 year and a week ), and one of her many and variations on sleeplessness was a phase just like this one, where even when she was sleeping in bed with me, she would wake up screaming, be breastfed back to calm and sleep, then do the same thing 30 mins/1 hour/whatever time later. I wish I had some helpful advice, but just wanted to say I know how you feel and it's hard. Hang in there, and virtual hugs to you.

[thepriceiswrong]

Hi

Have you told the doctor or hv about this? I only ask as my ds used to feed constantly, and I know how hard it is, but he actually was suffering with reflux. Basically, because of the pain from the acid flowing up the foodpipe, they are searching for something to neutralise it (like you or I would do with Gaviscon or a glass of milk). The unfortunate thing is, that the more they feed, the worse the reflux is. So you are caught in this catch 22 situation. If it does happen to be this, the doctor can prescribe infant Gaviscon to give them after a feed. It may be that lying down at night is why it is worse then?

Either that or it could be a growth spurt? Or maybe early teeth? I think at 4 months I didn't feed my ds in the night at all - sort of like cold turkey. I knew that he could sleep through as he had done on a couple of occasions, so I soothed him in some other way. It meant that he drank more in the day as he wasn't filling up at night. It was definitely worth it.

Hope that is of some help.

[loopyloo82]

Thanks for the support, I've managed to get through today without falling asleep - just dreading tonight!

I'm pretty sure it's not reflux, as her screams are not exactly screams of pain or even discomfort, just her letting me know she wants something, food or comfort I guess. She is never sick either.

I don't want to not feed her at night either as I intend to feed on demand for a good while longer yet, whether that be for food or just for comfort.

It's just the amount she's waking I'm finding so hard - even every two hours would be brilliant now; last night I don't think I slept between 12.30 and 5.30 at all.

Thanks again for replies.

[iloveholidays]

Big sympathies to you. It is really hard - so make you rest as much as you can during the day.

I'm afraid I haven't really got much advice, but thought I'd mention that there is a huge growth spurt at 4 months, so you might just find it passes after a few weeks. Also - possibility of teething?

I would suggest seeing if you can go to a breastfeeding drop in clinic near you as I know they help with how to feed laying down which might help.

Anyway - best of luck.

[loopyloo82]

Thanks holidays - I did wonder about teething as she was no better last night. Tried giving her some Calpol at about 1am but it made no difference to her behaviour whatsoever (I was slyly hoping it might help her to get a bit more sleep anyway but no such luck!).

We also cracked the feeding lying down by latching her on in a sitting position then moving to a lying position, so at least it was a bit comfier for me. But she was even waking and crying when feeding in that position which makes me think this is a sleep issue as opposed to a feeding one (although I realise they are very closely linked anyway).

She woke fully by 5am this morning and dh took her downstairs for a couple of hours so I could get some sleep, then brought her back to bed for a 30 min nap after which she woke bright as a button. She also was harder to settle in the first place last night so the whole situation is getting worse if anything.

Anyway, I think her lack of naps is probably not helping but I am at a loss as to how to help her nap longer. After 40 mins she is wide awake, and this is when I stay on the bed with her. In her cot we're lucky to get 10 mins. I'm thinking she's probably 'chronically tired' as the books say but what do we do about that? Any ideas?

Sorry to go on, just worried about her and me.

[MomOrMum]

Wow, that sounds tough for both of you. May well be some kind of discomfort that will pass.

One thing that stands out is that you say she is only feeding 3 times during the day? What happens when you offer more? Just that my DS is now 12 months and is BFing 3 times/day, and was 4 times/day up until fairly recently. I think at 4 months he was having more like 6 feeds/day (incl bedtime) and maybe 1-3 overnight.

It could also partly be that she's gotten into a sort of overtired loop, like you say.
How long after waking up in the AM do you normally try to get her to have a nap? If I remember, babies at 4 months can only stay awake for 1 hr 45 or max 2 hours. Probably the lower end of that if she is having such bad nights. Could it be that she is missing her nap window first thing, and then the overtiredness builds throughout the day?

My DS didn't nap longer than 40 minutes for ages, but he did need lots of these throughout the day. Probably 4 X 40 min naps at 4 months old? I did sling or buggy for almost all naps at that age, just because he really seemed to need the sleep but wouldn't sleep well in his bed.

So hard to say because they are all so different.

[heron22]

hi loopy sorry to hear ur having such a tough time. if ur baby is feeding for over an hour, the milk in ur breast would have long gone! there is not that much milk in there for her to suck for that long. she is comfort sucking. and if ur tired then ur milk production will suffer. i agree that she must be tired. have you tried to just leave her in her cot and see if she falls asleep?

[loopyloo82]

Thanks for the replies.

MomOrMum, I think you are right that she isn't having enough milk in the day, the problem is she is reluctant to have any more despite me offering it frequently. The HV suggested skin to skin in the day - have just tried that and she did have a bit of a feed, but not really enough. Will persevere. She is often having 4 x 40 min naps - I just thought at least 1 longer nap would be better, but I suppose any sleep helps.

heron I have tried leaving her in her cot - she has never fallen asleep by herself like that.. and I never leave her to cry, I want to avoid that.

Anyway, will keep trying different things. It'll pass... sooner rather than later I hope!

Thanks again

[MomOrMum]

I think we had a problem around 4 months that my DS was so distracted that he wasn't feeding well during the day. He just couldn't seem to take a break from looking around at EVERYTHING! But it was temporary. I made sure to be home for at least a couple of daytime feeds to try to get more milk into him. It passed, and he got back to being very efficient at breastfeeding even in public.

I think it was also around 4.5 - 5 months that I started to have SOME success in extending one of the 40 minute naps. Usually the first one in the morning. I slowly stretched the time he was awake first thing to about 2 hours I think, but keeping everything really calm and chilled near naptime. Then did a repetitive pre-nap routine (nappy, grobag, dark room, song, rock, etc.) and put him in his cot. Then crept in around 30 mins after he had been asleep and shh-patted and replaced the dummy when he started to stir. This sometimes worked with the first nap. The afternoons were always hopeless, couldn't crack the 40 min naps.

Hope things get better for you! If I remember correctly, 4 months was a really tricky time for us.

[loopyloo82]

Thanks MomOrMum - it seems like most of these things are phases.
To be honest, I'm actually really enjoying this time despite the sleeplessness as dd had such bad colic for first three months it is now just a delight to have a happy baby - albeit a tired one!