Controlled Crying!???

[biddy1902]

Ok I have an 8 1/2 month old who has never slept a full night. Usually goes down without a fight at 8:30/9:00pm and gets up again either around two or four and thinks that is it for the night. Lies content for around 10 mins then crys. I have been bringing him into bed and he normally went over again after and hour or two. Past two months he wont even stay in our bed and just wants up now at whatever time he wakens. He is not hungry because I have tried giving him milk and only takes an 1 or 2 oz. Doesnt need much sleep during the day either 10:30 might sleep for 40min to an hour. And wont need a sleep in the afternoon.

I have been speaking to other mothers and most of their advice is controlled crying. Spoke to the HV and she strongly recommends it. I dont think I can do it myself but my husband has said he will.

So just wondering is there any tips or advice before we start, and roughly how long does it normally take? or is it normal not to be sleeping. I know he is very spoilt as he had a few little problems at the start when he was born but all is fine now.

[salt101]

I think you have made life a bit difficult for yourself by bringing him out of room into your room. Sounds to me he is confused as to what time to get up. He feels wide awake but hasn't learnt that nighttime is still for sleeping.

I personally wouldn't do controlled crying. I think it is a horrible way to teach children. If you are prepared to do it, you could do a more gentle approach that would require you to be really strict about how you handle the nights. Dont' take him out of his room at night. Don't turn on any lights, little eye contact. Eventually, don't even take him out of his bed- but only do this once he is calm. In the morning, make sure you get him up at the same time every day. Open the blinds/curtains before getting him out of bed - that is his cue that it is morning and time to get up.

He will learn eventually. It will take time, though. Controlled crying doesn't work in every child. I don't think we should expect children to learn when they are upset or tired. We wouldn't like it, so why should they?

Good luck with whatever method you choose.