OK, have a feeling this is going to be long. Background - DS is 2.4 and has been a good sleeper from a very young age - he's been in his own bed in his own room from 6 months, and has slept 7.30-7 from about 8 months. When he's at home in the day (ie. not with childminder or anybody else) he also sleeps after lunch for up to 2 hours - he asks for his bed, we don't force him to nap, and if you wake him up any earlier than after 1½ hours he is the grumpiest child in the world.
In the last few weeks we've started having problems - not every night, maybe once or twice a week. He'll lose his dummy (not asking for advice about ditching the dummy here, he only has it for sleep and that's another issue for another time!) so we go in to give it to him. That will be enough for him to wake up, stand up in the cot and ask to get up and play, regardless of the time of night (sometimes 2am, sometimes 10.15, like it was last night).
We try telling him it's time to sleep, it's night time, time to go back to sleep, etc. etc. and leave the room without getting him out of the cot or giving him cuddles, but then we get full blown sobbing and crying for mummy or daddy. We do it again - go in, tell him it's time to sleep and leave the room, but it just gets worse and worse.
One of the main problems is that DH is much weaker than me when it comes to hearing DS cry, and would rather take him out and cuddle him - this is what he did last night, and they are both together in the spare room having been there all night. As soon as DS is out of the cot he's quiet and happy to lie with someone -he doesn't sleep, but he will lie there. I am stronger in that I will leave him to cry for a few minutes at a time as I know he's not coming to any long-term harm.
Added to this is the fact that DH works shifts and I am 34 weeks pg. DH is starting 4 night shifts tonight so I will be on my own with DS, and I'm still working full-time for another 2 ½ weeks. I'm a really light sleeper and there's no way I can get to sleep if I have DS in bed with me, and to be honest I don't want to anyway - I need my sleep, he needs his, and neither of us gets it if we're in the same room. DS is also going to be moving into his new bed in his new room before the baby arrives - it's where DH and him are sleeping at the moment (6foot2 DH in a single bed with DS, so I can't' imagine it's the most comfortable situation for either of them).
I need some advice on what to do with DS. If we carry on leaving him to cry without going into his room at all he will eventually get back to sleep, but it could take hours; if we go in and tell him it's time to go to sleep every few minutes it just makes the crying worse, and if we take him out of his bed it seems to me as though we're rewarding him for not sleeping. I know we need to be consistent and I really need to be able to sleep on the nights when DH is working - last night even though I wasn't in the same room as them it still took me an age to sleep, and then as soon as DS made any kind of noise I was awake and tossing and turning.
Is this just a phase? Will he settle down again soon? Are we going to make things even worse when we move him into the new room (which will mean moving him into a normal bed where he will be able to get out?)
Really need some advice - I want to get things back to how they used to be before baby comes so that when I'm up doing night feeds and DH is at work, I at least don't have to worry about both of them crying at the same time and only having one pair of hands.
Hope I've explained this all properly! Thanks for your advice - I'm sure there are lots of you out there who have been through this, but at the moment it is really worrying me.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.
Sleep
What has happened to my perfect sleeper? Really need some help - please!
7 replies
sleepychunky · 27/10/2009 06:13
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.