3 weeks old problems settling with anyone other than me!

[pippa251]

hello,

I have a 3 week old DD and she is genrally a very contented baby- she rarley cries for more than 5 mins and is always easily comforted. Usual routine is bath 7.30,feed 7.45-8.30 then she settles about 8.45 - 9.15 she will never settle the first time I put her in the basket she needs picking up comforting etc. She then wakes somewhere between 12.45- 1.45 for a feed then again at 4am- 5.30am

I am Bfeeding her exclusivley and have found it pretty easy however- last night to give me an early night I expressed a bottle and asked DP to keep her downstairs in her mosis basket and feed her before he came to bed- to try to give me a longer sleep. however she got so distressed when i left the room/ stopped holding her she was screaming for about 15 mins then wouldn't settle for 2 hrs. It was really upsetting for me and dp as it seems she only wanted to be with me. Also she totally refused the bottle.

how do we over come this? is it too early to be a problem is it normal behaviour? please help as i have no experience

[kwaker5]

It is too early to worry about this and it's not something to 'worry' about anyway. They go through phases and you may find at some stage she will settle better with your DP than with you.

Be glad that hse is generally content and let her have what she wants at this age!

[WelliesAndPyjamas]

without wanting to sound too soppy, she cries for because you're her mummy, her world . She doesn't want to be without you. Enjoy how special that feeling is, there's time enough in the future for her to learn to settle with other people. In fact, IME if she always knows that you'll be there for her all the time then she'll probably be more confident in herself and happy to be with anyone as she gets older.

[WelliesAndPyjamas]

sorry, typo

'she cries for you'

[pippa251]

thanks for the advice- i now can see i have totally over reacted- it was just upsetting because it was also the first week DP has been back at work and he feeling guilty about putting in a long day at the office- he got worried that she didn't recognise him as he'd been out for 13 hrs!
Welliesandpyjamas thankyou for your post - you have made me feel very speical- it's easy to forget what an important job your doing between feeds and nappy changes!

[WelliesAndPyjamas]

you are special, especially to your dd

it must be immensely difficult for dads to have to leave newborns. I know my DH really hated it. It'll be a good while yet before dd 'recognises' anyone but you (only because that's nature's way, nothing against dads!) but when it happens and he gets his big smiles from her when he gets home, it will be sooooo worth the wait!

[dorisbonkers]

Just wanted to reassure you that my baby at almost 10 months won't settle without extensive breastfeeding/walking around in a wrap (that's my problem, I'm not saying you'll have it too!)

But when her daddy walks in the room after a night shift she beams from ear to ear.

She'll also sleep for him if he walks her around in an Ergo.

Don't worry about this now, they need you 24/7 when they're little. I'd be worried if they DID settle without mum! (well, sort of, you know what I mean)