How do I get my baby to sleep?

[ceb80]

DS is 12 weeks and is in a relatively stable routine and once asleep stays asleep until 5am ish with a dream feed about 10.30pm which is great. The issue is getting him to sleep which can take up to 2 and a half hours of shush patting. He is in a cot in his own room and is FF.
Any ideas or should I just be thankful that he sleeps well once he is asleep!

[thisisyesterday]

what time are you putting him down? maybe he just isn't tired?

[yousaidit]

any bedtime routine in place?

whats your ds like for nodding off during the day?

[NumptyMum]

Sleep is learned gradually, in our experience - although perhaps your DS has learned that you will shush him to sleep for 2 hours! We got the 'No Cry Sleep Solution book, which I think was useful - though I'm not sure where it is now. I think we ended up trying to cut out our involvement in DS going to sleep, DH really took over as I was BF and DS always wanted me to feed him to sleep. DH would sit next to cot and pat/shush for a while, then just sit, then pat/shush etc. Whatever change you make, it should be gradual. Hope that helps.

[ceb80]

Thanks for you replies.This is I think he is tired as he is often cross at bed time, yawns etc but it doesn't make any difference if I put him down earlier of later.
You said his routine is loosely like this.
During the day his sleep is very variable as I am out and about alot (have dogs to walk and horses to muck out but not always at the same time each day). If in the car he often falls asleep or in the buggy when walking the dogs. Generally I get him up a 8am if not already awake, has a feed, next feed at 12 often has a nap between these feeds. Usually has a long nap around 2 or 3pm, feed at 4pm and another at 6pm followed by bath/massage then in bed for 7pm usually swaddled with music or white noise playing.

[Jojay]

My Ds2 was like this at this age.

One night after being in with him for hours I was getting really stressed about it, I lost the plot and walked away for a break.

To my amazement after 4-5 mins of crying he fell asleep on his own and stayed asleep for much longer than he usually did.

After that I allowed him a maximum of 5 mins to cry and 99% of the time he'd be asleep without me having to intervene and increasingly he went down without crying at all.

He's 7 months now and goes down awake every time. Sometimes he cries for a few minutes but often not.

I'm certainly not saying you should leave him to cry it out for any longer than 5 mins, but he might surprise you - I was gobsmacked when my Ds2 fell asleep that first time.

[ceb80]

JoJay, I find I can do that if he wakes in the night but will cry for much longer if left when first put down.

Numpty Mum this is what we currently do, me and DH taking turns, so that he knows we are there for him but that he doesn't have to be held to go to sleep

[ceb80]

Well, progress! Last night DS went down without crying. He took a while to fall asleep so I just sat in the room till he did which took about 25 minutes after all the kicking and arm flailing had stopped (despite being swaddled )
Didn't do anything different apart from he went swimming during the day and had quite a long sleep afterwards - can't do that everyday though!
Think it may just be that wonderful thing called time....

[Jojay]

Great - long may it continue!

[NumptyMum]

Great - glad to hear he settled better. It may come and go, depending on whether he's having a growth/development spurt or ill, but it should get easier as he gets more used to settling himself. DS at 22mo now waves bye bye to DH when he wants to be left alone, then chatters/flumps about for up to half an hour before drifting off [soppy/proud emoticon].

[ceb80]

Bless Numpty!
Tonight wasn't quite as textbook but definately an improvement, fingers crossed it becomes a habit!