Worried - Did my 5 month old cry himself to sleep?!

[LurkNoMore]

Hello,

I am a new poster on mumsnet, having lurked from the last trimester of my pregnancy, and have found a lot of useful and reassuring advice and fun threads during my lurking days.

I always wanted to join in but I suppose I was shy; unfortunately, I never wanted to start my first thread with a question like this one, but I am keeping myself up with it playing on my mind, so I'll give it a go...

I put my 5 month old DS to sleep in his cot this evening, in our bedroom, and stayed with DH in the living room watching television. At some point we fell asleep on the sofa and I woke up 2 hours later. When I checked on DS, his face was covered by his (very light) blankets, which he had kicked off himself completely.

I panicked and checked his breathing, but he was fine, and asleep. I then began to worry about what had happened.

He has never kicked his blankets around so much that they ended up on his face, so I am worried that he woke up and was crying and kicking about so much that he really worked himself into a frenzy and I wasn't there for him...

I know that much worse things can happen, and that some mums do practice controlled crying, but I am worrying myself sick thinking he is too young to have gone through that on his own.

We live in flat, and don't use a baby monitor as we keep all the doors to rooms open, but we have quite a long hallway so it is possible I did not hear him while I was asleep

Should I be worrying about this? I feel a bit silly, as I can see after typing this out that the answer is likely no. But that doesn't stop me thinking that he was scared and I wasn't there for him when he needed me...

[oliviasmama]

I'm sure that if he was really yelling you'd have woken. Just a thought, why don't you try him in a grobag, we always used one for DD so there's no chance of the blankets going over their faces, I always used a monitor until recently too, (DD 19 months), I liked the security of it but that's just me.

[oliviasmama]

...and don't feel silly

[helibee]

don't feel silly, i agree with oliviasmama, mums are generally programmed so that when their wee ones scream you'll hear it. At 5 months babies can move about a lot and he may have just wriggled a LOT in his sleep, my ds by 6 months would end up at the other end of the cot?!? so we've always had him in a grobag, they're fab and will hopefully put your mind at rest.

My ds is 21 months now and i still have times where i feel like you and if i've had a nap whilst he is napping and wake to hear him crying i feel awful but it's natural and you sound like a great mum

[DevilsAdvocaat]

even if your ds did cry himself back to sleep, he won't have done himself any harm.

at this age we did some cc and i struggled with it. then we went on a long car journey and ds screamed the whole way on the motorway in his car seat until he fell asleep. it made me feel better about the whole thing. i don't think babies of this age get scared particularly, maybe annoyed that no one was coming?! however you feel about it, eventually you'll find yourself in a situation where your baby cries himself to sleep because you can't pick him up (in a rush in the buggy, in the car etc). on night of doing that in his cot won't harm him anymore than in the car.

having said that, i doubt you'd have slept through it anyway as previous posters have said.

hth

[HullabaLuLu]

My DD is 4 months old and has become fascinated by her feet. All she does all day is grab them/try and put them in her mouth/roll over.

She fell asleep a few nights ago and as I was putting her in her hammock her left arm reached out and her legs came up. She loves it so much she's doing it in her sleep now!

Perhaps your DS did something similar? DD is prone to kicking her covers off. We use a Grobag too or a really big swaddle blanket annd tuck it right under the mattress (not swaddled).

I think you'd have heard him if he'd cried.

DevilsAdvocaat, I've often thought that about the car seat too. DD hates the car but her crying doesn't stop until we arrive at wherever we're going or I get in the back with her and hold her hand (that only works if DH is driving obviously )

[DevilsAdvocaat]

at the time it does feel like you're being mean but in the end they get it. i tried to go to ds whenever he cried as i will do with the next baby. however, sometimes you can't for safety reasons or time contraints. eventually they get it.

in regards to the car, we found that just leaving him to cry without trying to calm him down (which didn't work anyway) meant that he fell asleep quicker and that's better for him as well as us!

the sleeping thing is hard. i'm glad we did teach him to self settle as he is a great sleeper and we have never had night wakings, unless he's poorly, since. dh and i are 'need our sleep' kind of people!

also i think when you have your second you quickly realise that you can't go to them as you did your first all the time because you still have your pfb to take care of

[sparkleandshine]

lurk definitely get a grobag - then you've no worries about blankets.

I'm sure your mummy radar would have heard him if he'd been yelling blue murder...

[JackBauerKillsPigs]

A grobag is a good idea.
If it makes you feel better I have a monitor in DD's room and one night we were awake, didn't hear anything, yet when we got upstairs, DD1 had fallen out of bed and was asleep on the floor and DD2 had escaped from her sleepsuit, stripped down to her nappy and chucked her comfort teddy out.
They can be sneaky little buggers when they want!

[LurkNoMore]

Thank you all for the replies, you've been very reassuring, as has the fact that he's woken up a happy chappie this morning . That's a good point about the car DevilsAdvocaat, I didn't think of it that way.

Thanks for the grobag tip too everyone. I do have baby sleeping bags for him, but can't use them at the moment - he's a very long baby so has grown out of the 0-6 month size, and the 6-12 month size is still too large for his head, so he'd be able to wriggle inside.

Can anyone recommend a brand that may fit the longer baby? I'm in the countryside and rarely get to go anywhere with a range of shops where I can look around. (I've had John Lewis and Asda in 0-6 month, and have M&S in 6-12). I guess something in 6-12 months with a small neckhole would be be most sensible to buy at his age. I've not invested in Grobags before as I thought they were much of a muchness, but if you think they may be a better fit, it would be worth it.

[Songbird]

We had this problem lurk, dd was very long but stil had a wee head. I just put on an extra popper to make the neck hole smaller. Grobags (the brand) are great, though.

[HullabaLuLu]

Lol @ JBKP

I got a couple from Mothercare (their own not Grobag) which seem to have fairly small necklines. Tesco ones were quite good too. Some also gave us one which IIRC is from Primarni so it might be worth looking there too if you have one near you.

[shegetsthatfromme]

Lurk We have a few non-grobag grobags and I thought they were ok (but not impressed with large head opening) until I got our first proper grobag and it is so much better. I'll be sticking with them now, I'm went to TK Maxx for mine as they usually have some in for around £10/£12.

[dan39]

Agree with above - the grobag ones are the best re neck openings - if they seem pricey try eBay- I got a few from there. They are brilliant!

[LurkNoMore]

Ooh, thanks for the Grobag tips all! I will have a look online where I could get the best deal

[mamadiva]

Lurk I think I have one or 2 grobags upstairs, asda and tesco ones but just as good.

You can have them FFP if you want

Will have a look for them tomorrow and get pics.

[mamadiva]

Ooh just noticed about having some LOL.

The Tesco one think is 6-12 months fitted my DS up until he was almost 15 months and he is very long, the asda one done us until he was 4 months (0-6 months) but again he is long.

[DuchessOfRubbish]

Hello Lurk.

I have slept with DD beside me since birth (first in moses basket then cot) Even though I am a light sleeper, I would still wake once or twice to find the blanket (also light cellular) over her face. I knew she hadn't been crying and getting stressed out as I would have woken instantly. I think they move so often and wave their arms about so much that the blankets end up all over the place.

After the 3rd time of this happening, I switched to Grobags too. I got mine from all over. Matalan do them, as do Asda, Tesco, Primark and Mothercare.I even got some off Ebay. (our house veers from arctic to sweltering temps so got loads of different togs) Just be mindful of the tog and temperature of the room. DD loves them. In fact will not sleep without one now.