Help! Bed time disaster with my 14 week old... :-(

[newmomma]

Hi All,

My 14 week old son responded really well to the night time routine we put in place when he was about 6 weeks old.

Feed, bath, massage, and final topup feed. Then bed. He went down awake and dozed off very quickly and would sleep up to 5 hours.

He then had a tummy bug which lasted approx three weeks and made him very uncomfortable. He loves the bath but has been so touchy that he didn't want to come out and would scream so much that he would really work himself up. Mix that with the colic he got as a result of the tummy bug and the massage became a thing of the past - he just didn't have the patience and didn't want to be touched.

So - after getting him to calm down I have coped with him being wide awake until 10pm every night for the last 5 night - on my own as the DH is in HK for work... Usually he's grizzly until then, sometimes just wide awake and wanting company.

I obviously need to introduce a different bedtime routine as the old one's not working - I'm now bathing in the morning - but I'm at a loss to know what to do to tell him its sleep time.

My health visitor says he's a very alert and responsive (nosy) for his age so is maybe getting tired and over stimulated earlier than I was putting him down, so I should try and earlier bedtime, which is fine but I'm not sure what 'routine' to set in place so that he starts learning its bedtime again.

Surely a 10pm bedtime isn't usual for babies this small??

HElppppppppppp!

xx

[unclefluffy]

Mine was going to bed at 10pm at 14 weeks. It got to 8pm for a while but is now back to 9.30pm (at 22 weeks). I haven't forced the issue because (a) it makes me stressed and (b) she sleeps through until 6ish. The bedtime needn't be a problem in itself, if you see what I mean.

[newmomma]

His daytime naps are appalling too.
He just doesn't seem to like to sleep although I can tell he's overtired.

He usually manages a couple of 30-40 min naps in the day, but not much more...

[imoverhere]

I would say he's overtired because he's not napping in the day properly - I think at about 14 weeks he should be having at least 2-3hrs sleep in the day (maybe more, I'm no an expert)

Easy for me to say though, but what can you do about it... Well, I had the same problem with my daughter who was a bloody nightmare. We started to get her to nap in the day be any means we could, going out in the car, taking her for a walk, rocking her, whatever (car and walk worked because of the motion of the car). We also did what you did in that we moved bath time, still did it at night (suited us more) but at least and hour before bed time. It took a while (but she was older than your ds) but she is an excellent sleeper now.

At 14 weeks he could also be having a growth spurt - as I recall one comes at around 3 mths, which might be unsettling him.

And as unclefluffy says, the actual bed time needn't be an issue if babe is happy and quiet and sleeps through once asleep. Just move he time earlier each night by 10 or 15 mins.

Finally, the No Cry Sleep Solution book might be one to try. Has some gentle techniques on helping children to sleep.

[newmomma]

Oh - I hadn't thought of trying to read up on the subject - I'll have a look for the book and see if that helps...

What about reading to him? I know he won't be big enough to understand but I thought it might be a good 'winding down' exercise...?

[lobsters]

There is a 3 month growth spurt. My 13 week old (14 weeks on tomorrow) has been going to bed sometime between 6.30 and 7.30 for the last 3 weeks and we've noticed a big improvement in her sleeping and happiness during the day. Our routine is massage or bath, feed, and then read her a little book to keep her upright for a little longer to help with reflux, and then to bed.

[thomasina1]

Just wanted to say that we had the same experience - we were feeling very smug that our 6 wk old slept all evening and we were loving our evenings together, then it changed at about 10 wks I think. In the end I just went with it and let her sleep as and when with us in the lounge in the evening. I tried the bedtime routine every so often and eventually it worked again. Also I tended to leave her in the cot (checking frequently) if she was crying the kind of "winding down" stop-start cry rather than actual "come and get me" cry iykwim.

For naps I totally agree with Imoverhere - I did pretty much what ever it took (lots of long walks especially, plus some feeding-to-sleep) so that she got at least 3 hrs sleep during the day. But they are all different - it could just be that your LO needs less.

[imoverhere]

Hi newmomma - we started reading to DD at about 4 mths. I know she didn't understand or care, but it was all part of the routine and a little rhyme or story seemed to help (or maybe it just calmed me down, which helped more!)