Started cc tonight....need advice on how to check please

[mads1]

After alot of thought,research and trying every other possible thing I have had to resort to controlled crying to help dd learn to self settle.

Anyway started tonight and not going too bad. However I'm alittle confused on how long I should go in to check between intervals and how shoud I check?

I basically go in and place my hand on dd and instantly she stops crying. Now, should I wait the whole minute still or should I come out as soon as she stops crying. Sometimes she stops straight away but as soon as I remove my hand she crys again.

Any body who has done this, can you tell me your experiences please.
Btw really don't want to start a cc debate. Don't need any negative opinions tonight pleeeeeease!

[CarGirl]

Can you try slow patting for a while while you sush so you can then progress to sushing without touching her?

[LuckySalem]

I think you have to stay till they are settled (not just stopped crying but so they don't look like they're about to start again) then you have to stay out of the room for 5 mins then go back and do the same things again.

When I tried to self settle DD I went back in a couple of times and found that my prescense was making her worse. In the end I left her to winge (she never cried as such) for about 8 mins and she just went to sleep. The next night it was only 3,the night after that she chattered to herself and was asleep within about 4 mins but no crying at all.

Now that's how she goes to sleep, chattering away but to anyone who didn't know her they'd think she was upset and go into settle her making her worse etc. You need to know your child and do it the way it'll work for you.

[gagarin]

I would wait the whole minute - then leave again and hover quietly outside the door ready to go back in if needed

[mads1]

Do you mind if I ask how old were your dcs when you did it and long did it take?
I did cc three years ago with dd1 but have forgotten how I did it. It only took three nights though.

[goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh]

when I did it with DS1 (nearly 8yrs ago I must confess - though it's still fresh in my mind - as it was the first time he ever slept on his own )

I did this (as recommended by my HV

Put him down, said whatever I said to him

Left him, and stood outside the door for 2 minutes.

Went back in, patted him repeated night night (whatever) and left straight away

Then went downstairs and put the kettle on to make a coffee

5 minutes later (once coffee was made) went back up to repeat the pat/shh thing - straight out again

Went down and drank coffee (10 minutes)

Back up - repeated shh/pat

Back downstairs for 20 minutes - opened wine,

back up

pour another glass of wine

back up

pour another glass of wine

etc etc.

It took neaerly 3hrs ) the first night - but he slept through. He stirred once but I hadn't even got to his bedroom door before he'd settled again

2nd night took 1/2hr (again he slept through

3rd night (and for the next few weeks) was 10 minutes (although after a week I just used to leave him for the 10 minutes as he started getting more distressed when I went back in to him.

Then he suddenly stopped and just whinged a little as I walked out of the door.

[mads1]

Cargirl- good point about the sushing. Thanks.

Luckysalem- that's funny! I had to babysit for a friend once whose ds sang for a whole hour before dropping off! Cute stuff like twinkle little star.

[mads1]

She keeps waking nearly every hour! But have only needed to let her cry upto four minutes.

[LuckySalem]

DD was 5 months when I did it. She'd got into a habit of waking at 1am for no reason - I'd offer her a drink and she'd (when I was BFing) suck for maybe 2 mins and fall asleep to sleep till 6am. Then I got annoyed and just picked her up and put her straight back down.... then we started the whole leaving her completely thing.

We've just had to repeat it again as she was ill and wouldn't sleep unless she was on us and it only took 1 night and she's back to chattering away again tonight as normal.