Sleep - there is light at the end of the tunnel

[Sufi]

Just wanted to post something positive. God knows, I've been on this board often enough since DS was born BUT we're now making progress and DS, who is 1 on Tuesday, is sleeping like an angel.

He used to wake up every 45mins-1 hour from the age of 4mo-6mo. It was terrible and I lost my temper now and again and me and DH argued like the proverbial cat and dog. I got loads of colds and looked like c**p.

We did the NCSS at 5mo and that helped. When he got to 6mo, we used PU/PD (the only bit of the Baby Whisperer I read). This also helped, hugely, as it gave us a calm, rational strategy for dealing with his wakings. We cut out night feeding at 9mo (just because he was eating LOADS during the day and getting quite fat!). This also, strangely, helped (after the first few nights of him being annoyed at not getting a feed). We also started a bed-bath-boob routine quite early on and he really 'gets' this now. That, and the 'lessons' from PU/PD (keep calm, be consistent, be compassionate) have worked for us.

My friend also told me that babies 'typically' have sleep regression periods at 4mo, 9mo and 14mo. This also helped, as we knew he wasn't just being 'bad' during these times. He's been like clockwork for these regressions so far - am bracing myself for the 14mo one! But they did pass and we got back to normal.

Don't get me wrong, we still have bad nights, but they're always for a reason: he's poorly, he's teething, he's got separation anxiety. But he does sleep through the night now, I can even put him into his cot AWAKE and he goes to sleep (I still sit with him til he does, but it takes 2 mins now as opposed to 2 hours).

I just wanted to let you all know, both to say thank you for all those people who offered advice and let me rant in my darkest hours - and to provide hope for other mums who, like me, just didn't want to use cc. For me, it has been about teaching my son how to sleep, that he doesn't need to be scared and that I will always be there for him when he needs me. I'm sure I'll be back on here at some point eating my own words but, for now at least, we're getting some sleep. xx

[Becky77]

Well done Sufi, it's lovely to read a success story. It sounds like you've done an amazing job

[SamJohnsMum]

Thanks for this, Sufi - it's great to hear!! Well done x

[kiwibella]

lovely Sufi... it is great to read about successful sleeping!! I also used NCSS when my lo was younger. How did he take to PU / PD and did it take long to work?

I have a 20mo who has suddenly become a nightmare at going to bed (she is screaming from her cot atm - I'm on my own tonight and need a break!). If I pick her up she thinks it is time to run off and struggles... when I put her down, she thinks it is ok to get up.

[mammyofET]

Good to hear Sufi and agree that we should pass our stories on as it is so hard when they don't sleep. We had a nightmare with DS. He just didn't sleep through the night as a baby and we tried lots of things - as you do. He was over 1 when he eventually started sleeping through and there was nothing we really changed - we always had a routine, we always did the let him cry a little then comfort, so on and so on.

But now as a toddler he is a dream (pardon the pun). He has milk, a story and bed and sleeps for 12 hours almost every night.

[zazen]

How lovely Sufi and well done.

Our DD was the same and none of my friends had any problem with theirs so it was hard going for us. I was constantly second guessing DD and wondering where I was going wrong.

You won't regret being kind and patient - I know those flare ups of anger with DH cos you're both so knackered! - and your DS sounds like he has benefited from your kindness and compassion.

Our Dd is a very confident little 4yo who only rarely gets up to go to the loo now. We did the PU PD with her when she was a babe, and she sleeps 12 hours still (touch wood ).

Sleep makes such a difference doesn't it!
Well done again

[Sufi]

Thanks everyone - it feels like I should get some t.shirts printed up: 'sleepless and proud (but thankfully not any more)''!

And yes, I had the same thing: friends having babies who slept through and also getting 'the look' from unsympathetic mums at baby groups. Was very hard not to clock them one!!

MammyofET - agree with you. I think some babies just take a while to get into the groove. It's a killer but I genuinely felt that DS would get there eventually and, thank god, he seems to.

Kiwibella - we did PU/PD when DS1 was 6mo. Took about 2 weeks (yes, he's that persistent!) but it worked, basically because it gave us a strategy and thus a way of keeping calm. And it also helped both DH and me be consistent, no matter how tired or sleep-confused we were.

BUT when he went through sleep regression at 9mo it didn't work at all - he just got really angry. In that case, we just got through it any way we could. He's had a few minor regressions since then, mainly going to bed for the evening (taking up to 2 hours to go down - he'd get up/walk/crawl like your lo, or fight me off if I picked him up). Again, just gritted my teeth and remained calm, popping him onto his back (despite his howls) until he gave in. It's very frustrating, though, as he didn't seem to want anything but nevertheless refused to sleep... very odd. So the only advice is to pick her up very briefly if she cries, put her down if she gets up, talk calmly to her if that helps ('time for bed now', 'yes I know you're cross but it's just because you're tired' etc.), and get support where you can. Good luck xx