Co-sleeping - expecting dc #2 - any suggestions from co-sleepers with more than one?

[Iloveautumn]

Ds2 is due in Feb and we still co-sleep with ds1 who will be 2.8.

I am really worried about how he will react to a new baby and am wondering how other people managed the transition from 1 to 2?

Ds doesn't spend all night in our bed, but he does come in when he wakes and our routine is for me to cuddle him. This will have to change as I will be (hopefully) breastfeeding the new baby so will not be able to be available for him in the night.

Did you try to withdraw before the new baby was born or just let it happen naturally when the baby was there?

Help!!! I don't know what to do for the best but am worried that he will feel like he is losing his mum to the baby...

Sorry it's long.

[Iloveautumn]

Any co-sleepers out there who can help?!

[Iloveautumn]

Anyone?!!

[Iloveautumn]

I'll try again!!

Does no-one out there co-sleep with more than one child?!!

[WhereWolfTheWildThingsWere]

I think the current advice is not to co-sleep with a baby and a pre-schooler, though I realy don't see the problem as long as your bed is big enough and there is always an adult between them.

My ds was 3 and had been in his own bed (mostly) for a year or so (but still in our room), however as soon as dd was born he was desperate to come back into our bed.

If it was early in the night then dp took him into the spare room, if it was nearer morning then we let him come in 'on daddys side' iyswim.

If you want to get him in his own bed I would do it before baby, or he will feel pushed out. You might want to consider a big boy bed in your room, if it is big enough, this makes for a more gentle transition. It has worked well for us and I love it that all four of us share a room. although lots of people think we are crazy.

Now dd is 8 months, quite often we all just sleep together, the children get the lions share of the bed and we hover on the edges.

Hth.

[Iloveautumn]

Hi WWTWTW!!!

Thank you so much for that - actually it fits with what we have been thinking about doing. Ds has his big boy bed and he sleeps in there for naps in another room but we have been planning to bring it into our bedroom for him to sleep in at night.

You have just confirmed that that is a good idea.

I don't think you're crazy - I can totally see us all sleeping in the same room for a long time to come and we love it!! Nothing nicer I think!!

How did your ds react to the baby being in the bed too?

I agree that we definitely won't have ds next to the baby but will have him between me and dh and the baby the other side (have a bedside cot)

Thanks again!

[WhereWolfTheWildThingsWere]

'How did your ds react to the baby being in the bed too?'

By giving her lots of very enthusiastic cuddles (smothers) But basically he loves it.

I do think everyone sleeping together helps them bond, and stops anyone feeling 'pushed out'.

Good luck with it all.

[mrsgboring]

Bumping this for you as I'm in almost exactly the same position, except DS is still BF in the night (am going to nightwean and see what happens)

Also, we are going to try moses basket by the side of the bed until the new baby is a few months old and a bit less vulnerable. We did it with DS (not hugely successfully but he wouldn't come in the bed with us or feed lying down either till he was 6 months).

[Iloveautumn]

WWTWTW - that sounds positive - I guess I've just been focussing on the negatives of ds being pushed out and hadn't thought that actually he may feel more included being there too! Thank you!

Mrsgb - it's nerve-wracking isn't it?! I guess even more so for you as you are still feeding your ds. Hope the nightweaning goes well.

With ds we never had a choice over having him in bed with us - he couldn't sleep any other way than cradled in my arm!! So I haven't even considered any other option than having this one in with us! Still, he (ds2) may have different ideas - I suppose I'm expecting him to be like ds1 when he will probably be completely different!