To ask about your DC sleep and when it got better

[Marghe87]

My DD is 4.5 months old. As many babies, she used to sleep fairly well as a newborn but since she turned 3 months, I think we were hit by a regression and we haven’t seen the light at the end of the tunnel yet.
She is EBF and currently wakes up every 2 hours, if not hourly most nights. Also started to fight naps and still only ever naps in the sling.
On top of that, we are trying to gradually stop swaddling as we suspect she will roll over soon but she keeps waking herself up with her arm (we are doing one arm in one arm out to start with).

I think she keeps waking up demanding the breast as it helps her fall asleep again and I end up being so tired that I eventually in bed with us almost all night. Was hoping to move her to her own room when she is 6-7 months (mostly as we have no space for a proper cotbed in our room) but now I fear it will be hell!

I was just hoping other mums with older babies could share their experience and tips on LOs sleep and when it got better. I am not interested in any type of sleep training that involves crying. The only thing we are trying is putting her down seconds before she is asleep but tbh it hasn’t made any difference.

Thank you!

[Thekinkymouse]

My eldest about 3.
My youngest, still nowhere near there at 21m so far

Sorry

[Thekinkymouse]

Just thinking, 3 isnwhen it got a lot better.

My youngest (ebf) was mostly out of the waking every 1-2 hours stage at about a year, but it does still happen sometimes. Now it's about 3 wake ups a night, one or two being very prolonged, but that's better than it was I guess.

[Nattalie18]

Mine was the same, at 5 months he was still waking every 2 hours to breastfeed and I was so exhausted, I felt like I could not carry on. At 6 months ( when I started weaning) I decided to try and wean him off the boob at night coupled with some gentle sleep training ( with help of a sleep consultant Kate at, Simple Sleep... around £200) within 3 nights she helped me sort it and he was sleeping 7pm - 6am. Which he then went on to do for over a year. It’s life changing when it happens! Good luck, it won’t go on forever even tho it feels like it will! X

[Nattalie18]

Sorry just saw your note about not sleep training. Completely respect that. Have you tried putting them down fully awake? Helping to get them to learn to self settle. You don’t have to let them cry, just stay with and give reassurance

[Megan2018]

We saw a big improvement at 9 months, then it went to shit again at 12 months. Has improved again at 15 months but I’m expecting downhill with the next regression.
Teeth are a bastard, especially molars and canines.

[Harrysmummy246]

Honestly, bedsharing and just getting better at being able to pretty much BF when still 99%asleep. Very very very gentle nightweaning at 21 mo improved things- neither he nor I were ready before that.

And it's improved leaps and bounds since then. Now 3y6mo and even after an upset last night, he didn't want cuddles

[snoopy8]

Three keys changes for us:

• at 4 months we used a sleep consultant who helped us with shush Pat / gradual retreat and it worked wonders.

• my DD started to roll onto her front at 5 months. Initially I was worried but she had a strong neck so my HV said it was ok. It made her more comfortable to sleep.

• a comforter. She used to grab at her grobag and I didn't know why, but then I think she was trying to pull it up to her face to comfort herself. Once she had a little comforter she would cuddle it and again that seemed to help her self settle if she woke in the night. She now has two in with her!

By 6 months she was sleeping through 80% of the time doing around 12 hours. A couple if months after she only wakes if unwell.

[ArtemisBean]

We didn't do sleep training at all. Took some basic tips from Lucy Wolfe but otherwise let it all play out naturally. DS started sleeping through the night at 18 months maybe 4 nights out of 5, and by age 2 he was consistently doing it unless he was poorly.

[Russell19]

The game changer for me was when I night weaned him at about 12 months.

[Epwell]

She may not like the swaddling and the feeling of being restricted at this age. Also, she may be hungry. I started weaning my DD at 4.5 months and it helped (slightly) with the sleeping, she was clearly hungry, despite starting supplementing with bottles at 4 months. My DD though didn't sleep through the night until she was 6 years old. Record number of wake ups was 13 in one night, but she consistently woke up 3 or 4 times a night until she was 6. I'd look at the swaddling and the feeding initially and see what happens.

[twinklespells]

I caved and co slept with DD and thankfully at 6m we are still doing OK sleep wise. The magic of boobs. But I have the fear for trying to stop co sleeping at some point, and also don't want to have to leave her to cry!

[jellybe]

All three of mine around the 12 month mark git lots better at sleep. Oldest needed reading to sleep until about four (Stickman anyone? I can recite it beautifully for you) and now as a pre-teen reads herself to sleep - I have extract books or the kindle from her bed each night. DS1 +2 played/ chatted themselves to sleep from about 12 months and now chat each other to sleep as they share a room.

[Marghe87]

Thank you all for all your replies.

@epwell I don’t think swaddling is the issue, of something it’s the opposite (one arm out is waking her up more as she keeps hitting her face with the arm as has no control of it at night it seems).

@Nattalie18 we try the drowsy but awake and shush ptting every night but it never works. She either starts crying immediately or is fully awake and in a good mood and starts moving around a lot and after anout 45 min of that I usually give in and give her the breast again.

For all the others suggesting cosleeping: it’s basically what we are doing now. She goes down at around 7:30/8pm and usually wakes up at 11pm (that’s the longest stretch these days) and refuses to go back to the next to me cot so she ends in our bed for the rest of the night. I don’t mind it (although I can’t sleep comfortably as can’t get into my preferred position) but I worry this will continue for months and years to come? I’d like to get my bed back by the time I am going back to work to have some more decent sleep (around 10 months).
Last night she woke up every hour -_-‘

[Russell19]

I wasn't comfortable co sleeping either, ended up with a bad back because I didn't dare move in my bed. I co slept when I had to up to about 3/4 months. I also had a next to me crib (which barely got used, sounds like you). At 6 months he went into his own room which did improve things but I was in there about 3 times a night feesing but i just had a comfy chair and I preferred that to being uncomfortable in my bed. When he got older I sometimes sent my husband in to pat and shush and play lullaby music and that worked 50% of the time. Now he's 20 months and sleeps through most nights unless he's ill. You'll get there OP.

[Marghe87]

@Russell19 thank you! When did he start not waking up?

[Russell19]

When I night weaned him at about 12 months. Sure he'd still be waking up for milk now if I'd have carried on letting him. I was dreading night weaning but it actually wasn't that bad, I made my husband go to him at first and a lot of the time he'd sleep straight away for him. When he didn't sleep for him at first I'd feed him until he calmed down but still awake then I'd put him down and pat him or sing to him then if he got worked up again I'd keep repeating until he slept. Only took about 4 nights and then he was off milk completely.

[Marghe87]

@Russell19 I’ll just have to be patient and hope for the best then. Can I ask you how did you decide it was time to night wean? What I read online varies hugely (some websites say from 4 months is doable but there is no way DD could go all night without feeding at this age).

[Russell19]

It was when it stopped working sending him to sleep i think, and he wasn't eating breakfast or anything when he woke up because he was too full.