Regression or just a nightmare sleeper now?!

[Kcoffecakebubs]

Hi, 19 month old DS had been sleeping through in his cot a good 5/7 nights a week for a few months. Then just before 17 months he suddenly started taking an age to get to sleep and then he'd either refuse to sleep in his bed or wake at 3am for a good 2 solid hours. Then he sleeps late in the morning because he's too tired. Due to the timing I thought it was the 18 month sleep regression, but hes nearly 20 months now and if anything it's getting worse.

Currently still trying to get him to sleep. It's been going on about three hours now. He has one nap around 2 hours at 1300, and now he's getting 9.5 hours max over the course of the night. I don't think is enough personally and we're all suffering. I'm out of ideas and starting to get really down as we get no evening or time as a couple and it all feels so hopeless.

We've tried gentle sleep training to no avail, and I'm not a cry it out person so please don't suggest that. We can't leave him as he's in a toddler bed and just gets out and runs around, gets on our bed or climbs stair gate, so we have to stay with him.

Just looking for some advice, or at least a light at the end of the tunnel that it will end.

[Dominikaa]

Hello,

Not sure if I can give any advice...our 17 mths old did not sleep through the night once , she always wake up around 2 or 3am for feed ( still bf) sometimes she stay awakes for longer like 2h sometimes she goes bk to sleep straight away. Usually if we tire her out during the day + limit the naps she sleeps a bit better.

What I found is if I limit the naps during the day then DD sleeps better/ longer at night, also if I make sure she eats properly throughout the day + has big supper then again the chances of longer/ better night sleep increases. But again it all depends on the night. Right now she catches up on her sleep (10am) which will probably mess her night sleep again unless I make sure she does not have any nap until bed time
today. I think once she is bk at nursery, has better routine she will sleep better.

I feel for you, my DD woke up at 3am last night
for feed then at 6am she woke up fully and she went sleep at 11pm last night. Needless to say I am like a zombie today, DH gets really annoyed in the mornings when he is supposed to put her back to sleep, telling DD to 'be quiet' in annoyed voice which sets me off obvs and makes her more awake...

Anyway, fingers crossed your LO will get better at sleeping through the night x

[Dominikaa]

Just to add- friend of mine told me its perfectly normal for babies to sleep when they want/ not sleep through the night etc...we can try to improve the routine etc. but personally I don't thing there is any guarantees.

Please keep us posted if you found a solution I'd love to know...I've read so many articles ( 2am reading) what am I doing wrong etc why is she not sleeping and didn't really found an answer. I agree btw - cry it out method does not seem human to me so here I am doing the night shifts as required

[lookingatthings]

DS 20m started waking for a few hours each night. We dropped his day nap (over the course of a month) and he now sleeps 13hrs overnight.

[Dominikaa]

How did you drop his day nap over period of a month? Did you allow your DS to sleep less and less time each day? I’ve read that kids can be napping day time until they’re 5, something to do with their nervous system developing.

[Kcoffecakebubs]

I thought 19 months would be wat too young not to nap?

[lookingatthings]

@Dominikaa I followed a semi child led approach in that if he fell asleep I let him sleep, but woke him after 1.5 hrs at first, and then an hour After about 2w he started waking up after an hour by himself, and by the month he had stopped going to sleep at all - including in the pram and in the car. I didn't actively try and get him to nap though, and mostly of we were busy doing things he wouldn't at all.

He has always had very low sleep needs though- he spontaneously dropped his second nap at 13m. I think every child / person is different, and some do need to nap and will sleep well with it, others not so much. Same as people. My grandmother never needed more than 6hrs of sleep at night whilst I feel best after a solid 10.

[FATEdestiny]

We can't leave him as he's in a toddler bed and just gets out and runs around, gets on our bed or climbs stair gate, so we have to stay with him.

Putting baby in a toddler bed too early May be most of the problem here.

Toddlers gain a lot of feelings of security and safety from the enclosed feeling of the cot bars. Instead of staying with him while he sleep in a bed, you'd be better staying with him while he goes to sleep in a cot (and you're there to stop any cot climbing, if that was the issue?)

Did you used to cosleep? If so, consider moving toddlers bed to be next to yours as a way to improve sleep quality. The reassurance lost from the cot bars is then gained from your presence.

The idea is to improve sleep quality and then move back into own room when toddler is no longer sleep deprived.

[Kcoffecakebubs]

@FATEdestiny we had to move to a toddler bed as he could climb out of the cot bed, and went head first everytime. And we couldn't be there to stop him in the middle of the night. He started to wake up then immediately jump out, so no warning to get there first and make sure he didn't hurt himself. So we didn't have a choice.

We have co slept on and off, but his bed won't fit in our room unfortunately