Getting to sleep

(11 Posts)
Sgud Fri 25-Dec-20 20:55:35

Hi all

We are really struggling with getting our 8.5 month old to sleep at night. Previously we have always done bath, bottle and the she has fell to sleep in our arms having a bottle.

The last couple of weeks she wont fall asleep having a bottle. So we end up rocking her for 2 hours and putting her down about 8 or 9 times before she finally settles.

Weve tried putting her down and singing to her, weve tried getting her half to sleep and then walking away but she just screams and screams.

Shes fine in the day, she has a bottle and then goes down for a 2-3 hour nap halfway through the day with no problem at all. But at night it's a complete nightmare.

When she finally goes to sleep she often sleeps through until 5-6am which is great.. but we are getting SOOO stressed out actually getting her into her cot.

Any thought?

OP’s posts: |
Keha Fri 25-Dec-20 23:05:23

In my experience, this has been when my LO wasn't tired enough so needed less nap time/bigger gap between nap and bedtime.

Sgud Sat 26-Dec-20 14:33:56

Keha

In my experience, this has been when my LO wasn't tired enough so needed less nap time/bigger gap between nap and bedtime.

Shes absolutely shattered by bedtime though. We can get her to go to sleep normally after a while, but as soon as we put her in her cot, she wakes up and we have to start the entire process again.

OP’s posts: |
Eggcellent29 Mon 28-Dec-20 13:27:22

Hmmmm. She could be overtired? One nap a day doesn’t seem like much at this age.

COuld you try two shorter naps? At that age, I found the rough routine of wake windows of 2 hours then 3 hours then 4 hours worked a charm! So for example it would be

7am - wake up
9am - nap until 10ish
12pmish - nap until 2pmish
Bedtime at 6

FATEdestiny Mon 28-Dec-20 13:33:43

I'd say she's over tired not under tired.

The average age to move to 1-nap days is 18 months old. At 8-9 months old many babies are still in 3-nap days, of those that aren't almost all will be on 2-nap days.

If baby is also not getting an uninterrupted 11-12h at night (you mention 5-6am wake) them I'm certain the issue is sleep deprivation for baby due to spending too long awake in one go.

Ad mentioned in post above, I'd change to an morning plus afternoon nap - around 9.30am and 1pm.

Sgud Mon 28-Dec-20 15:11:42

FATEdestiny

I'd say she's over tired not under tired.

The average age to move to 1-nap days is 18 months old. At 8-9 months old many babies are still in 3-nap days, of those that aren't almost all will be on 2-nap days.

If baby is also not getting an uninterrupted 11-12h at night (you mention 5-6am wake) them I'm certain the issue is sleep deprivation for baby due to spending too long awake in one go.

Ad mentioned in post above, I'd change to an morning plus afternoon nap - around 9.30am and 1pm.

But she just wont have more than 1 nap unless it's in her pram. If it's not on her terms, she just wont nap. I have to spend hours rocking her and she just screams.

Love her to bits but we are both really struggling now. She woke up at 1.30 past night and it was 5.30 before we managed to get her back in her cot.

She used to go down with no issue and sleep until 6am. Then have a nap mid morning for 45mins-1 hour and then another in the afternoon. But it's like she just hates sleep! But if I try and get her to nap at 10am now, she just screams.

OP’s posts: |
FATEdestiny Mon 28-Dec-20 15:25:51

She will need to learn to self settle.

As a gentle way into this, I would continue daytime naps in the cot at set times (9am and 1pm).

Have the pram in the lounge with you, pushing back and forth on the spot relenessly and methodically.

As the days/weeks/months go by, rock the pram with gradually less ferocity and for gradually less time. Your aim becomes put baby down in pram with dummy (do you use a dummy - if not, try one) and just do two or three quick pushes and baby does the rest of the settling by comfort sucking on the dummy.

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Harrysmummy246 Tue 29-Dec-20 16:52:54

average doesn't mean the same for all babies.

Nor does a night wake mean they're not getting enough quality sleep.

Please stop peddling this rubbish

Sgud Tue 29-Dec-20 17:27:37

Harrysmummy246

average doesn't mean the same for all babies.

Nor does a night wake mean they're not getting enough quality sleep.

Please stop peddling this rubbish

I'm hoping that isnt aimed at me...

OP’s posts: |
Harrysmummy246 Tue 29-Dec-20 19:17:02

@Sgud

No absolutely not aimed at you. Aimed at the person offering 'advice' that is always exactly the same whether or not it seems to suit the situation or not. Their idea on what babies need is on average, if not the higher end of that and is not backed up by any science (e.g. only unbroken sleep counts )

There are numerous ways to change the situation. What the other poster has not mentioned is the sleep regression/progression for example.

Fyi, Ds was not a sleeper. Dropped to one nap at 10 months, only an hour ish or we'd never get him to bed in a reasonable time. Never introduced a dummy after the first few weeks and he got the hang of BF. Cuddled when required. Went to him when he called/cried.
Did he sleep as much as fate says? Never. Am I in any way worried about his development? Nope. Did I wish it was easier, yes, but we are now finally in a phase where he's naturally got it by himself and actually I miss the cuddles etc. Not the crying but I'm less and less needed.

Oh fyi, I didn't nap at all beyond 10 months, I have a good degree from Oxford and my sister who also was a sh** sleeper is an architect

FATEdestiny Wed 30-Dec-20 11:35:45

averagedoesn't mean the same for all babies

That's exactly why I said "average". And quantified it.

Harrysmummy246 this is the second thread you seem very angry at me and posted specifically to voice your anger that I try and help others.

This attitude is unwarranted and rude.

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