2 year old wont go to bed

[Momsicle]

Hi, so ever since my almost 2 year old daughter has been sleeping in her cot since 4.5 months old I have never been able to put her down for her to go to sleep for neither daytime nap or bedtime nap. The only way she will sleep of a night is if shes sitting in her high chair (crazy I know) her high chair is padded and does recline.
As soon as I even lift her to put her into her cot she starts the mother of all meltdowns. She will scream and cry and headbutt her cot no matter how tired or drowsy she is and will easily do this until I go and get her.
Once shes asleep and I carry her to bed she is fine and sleeps through the night. This is becoming a real issue now she is getting older and the tantrums getting worse.
She hates being cuddled/cradled so I cant rock her to sleep etc. And she finds no comfort in me sitting next to her cot stroking/reassuring.
At a loss of what to do, any miracle suggestions?

[alwaysstressed]

My two year old was like this, she would have a meltdown when she was put in her cot and wouldn't sleep so I brought her into my bed

Shes now nearly 5 and still sleeps in beside me.

[fitzbilly]

Have you tried talking to her?

I only say this because I have a two year old (sept birthday so only just two) and he always needed me to lie with him until he fell asleep, sometimes taking an hour and a half. He would also run into my bedroom about six times a night.

Two weeks ago I had enough and I sat him down and had a talk with him, saying enough was enough and I couldn't do it any more, he would have to go to sleep on his own and stay in his bed.

I kept reminding him all through the day what the new bed time routine would be and my expectations of him.

It worked.

For the last two weeks he has gone to sleep on his own after story time and he's stayed in his own bed, going back to sleep is he wakes without coming in to me.

It's been amazing.

It might work for you? Two is old enough to understand.

[KiriAndLou]

Get her a proper bed? Mine never slept well in a cot. Got her a proper single sized bed (really low down one, only slightly higher than the mattress on the floor would be) at 18 months and she started sleeping through. She just hated the confinement.

[Momsicle]

I have tried talking to her, but she will not sit/stand still enough to listen to me (always been like this and will never sit down for longer than 30 seconds unless strapped in a high chair or pushchair) maybe I just need to wait till shes a little older.

[Momsicle]

@KiriAndLou

Get her a proper bed? Mine never slept well in a cot. Got her a proper single sized bed (really low down one, only slightly higher than the mattress on the floor would be) at 18 months and she started sleeping through. She just hated the confinement.

I have thought about this, her cot is a cotbed and will be turned into a bed for when she is ready. My only concern with this is that because she is so active and struggles to relax she will be up out the bed and trashing her bedroom before my foot reaches the bottom stair then she definitely wont go to sleep. Once she Is asleep she will sleep for a solid 12 hours it's just getting her to go to sleep alone in her bed thats the problem

[CountTessa]

What about that idea of telling her because she's such a big girl now you're going to change the cot to a bed. But big girls do bed time differently and reiterate what a previous poster said about new routines. Maybe use a reward chart or give her a little treat for every good time she goes to bed.

[Momsicle]

Yes I think it's a case of putting all toys away so she cant access them at bed time and trying the big bed out with a new big girl routine
Wish me luck I think I may need it

[KiriAndLou]

Ahh, so you're trying to say goodnight and leave her to put herself to sleep? That's a whole other issue. I stay with mine until she drops off- admittedly only takes 15 to 30 minutes. The link below might be helpful?

www.google.com/amp/s/sarahockwell-smith.com/2016/06/16/getting-to-goodnight-and-go/amp/

[Momsicle]

[quote KiriAndLou]Ahh, so you're trying to say goodnight and leave her to put herself to sleep? That's a whole other issue. I stay with mine until she drops off- admittedly only takes 15 to 30 minutes. The link below might be helpful?

www.google.com/amp/s/sarahockwell-smith.com/2016/06/16/getting-to-goodnight-and-go/amp/[/quote]
Yes, exactly this, but the problem I have as soon as she goes into the cot she will not lay down or settle for me to even stay with her. She works herself up so much and gets really distressed. I think I maybe made a rod for my own back in picking her up when she is like this but now its becoming such a problem

[KiriAndLou]

Maybe try the bed out and start by staying until she falls asleep rather than trying to transition straight to goodbye and go. If nothing else, it's much easier on your back than lifting her out of the cot constantly! Do make sure the room is toddler-proof though, and that there's something to stop her getting into rooms that aren't. We have a stairgate on the landing, but you could affix one to her bedroom doorway if you've not got one already.

[KiriAndLou]

I'd also add that there's a sleep regression at two years old. At this stage, we did have a month or so of nightmare bedtimes, taking ages to fall asleep and general pratting about. We ended up shortening her nap to 45 minutes, which helped.