10 month old won't sleep for anyone but me

(7 Posts)
Moofit Thu 29-Oct-20 14:42:01

My LO will be 10 months next week and she has never fallen asleep for anyone except me, unless she is walked in a pram. I mostly feed her to sleep but I can settle her with shushing and patting. She has never been good at sleeping and usually wakes at least once or twice a night for a feed and often wakes for the day at 5am. She can and does occasionally settle herself at night but never in the day.

My husband has never managed to get her to sleep. We have tried giving her expressed milk in a bottle but she rejects it and screams. If anyone other than me places her in the cot she screams. She just gets more and more worked up and has a full on meltdown until she is taken back out.

This is causing us many problems at the moment, not just the fact that everything is on me, which is pretty tiring and stressful as I am now back at work. She started at a childminder 3 weeks ago and so far has refused to nap there unless out on a walk. She is there for three 6 hour days a week, which would usually cover one 2 hour nap. The childminder has another slightly older child to look after so having to go out on long walks is not really sustainable.

Does anyone have any advice for where to start with dealing with this? I have tried speaking to the HV twice but I'm just fobbed off with its a regression or it's developmental...

My next step is finding a very expensive sleep consultant because we have tried everything but throwing money at the problem.

OP’s posts: |
FATEdestiny Thu 29-Oct-20 18:19:34

Well it sounds like you need to sleep train. Are you ok doing that? It will almost certsinly involve a fair load of crying.

Mylittlepony374 Thu 29-Oct-20 18:35:04

Can the childminder just put her in the pram and rock her back& forth? I had a similar non sleeper and my husband could put them to sleep like this when I wasn't there, put on a lullaby and back& forth in the kitchen & away they went.
Or a rocking chair? At my child's creche they spent a lot of time rocking the non sleepers before they put them down.

Moofit Thu 29-Oct-20 19:20:27

@FATEdestiny I don't cope well with her crying but I do think we are very low on options now. The idea of her crying that much does break my heart. I'm just scared it won't work and will just do more damage.

OP’s posts: |
Moofit Thu 29-Oct-20 19:26:30

@mylittlepony374 We have tried rocking the stationary pram, it doesn't work. I don't know if it's the motion of the pram that gets her to sleep or the being out and about. We haven't tried a rocking chair, might be worth a go.

OP’s posts: |
Ohalrightthen Thu 29-Oct-20 19:28:56

What happens if you leave the house and leave her dad to it? Get him to do dinner bath and bed, the whole thing, and just let them get on with it? That's what we did with DD, there was a fair bit of sqwarking but she slept eventually. I went out one night a week so she got used to it - lots of the time i just sat in the car in the drive and watched Netflix on my phone. Neighbours must have thought i was insane. But it worked.

Mylittlepony374 Fri 30-Oct-20 08:40:55

The only other thing I can think is a 'cuddly'. For a few weeks, feed her to sleep with the cuddly there between the two of you do she gets to associate the cuddly with you and safety and comfort. Then you put her to bed with it. Then after a while, once you know she is attached, try dad putting her to bed with it?
Tried this with my non sleeper and it did not work. I ended up feeding her to sleep until she was over a year old. But it did work for a friend and her son so maybe worth a try?

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