Held hostage by breastfeeding

[Stacey5748]

My new baby is 11 days old, she has lister fed since the day she was born, the first night in hospital after my c section she fed for 7 hours, just one breast to the other.

First two days at home seemed fine but the cluster feeding has been back the last 4 days, it starts at 8pm and doesn’t stop until around 6am, constant feeding.

She roots to be fed, then fusses when there’s hardly any milk coming as she has drained both boobs, cries and vomits from
Over feeding but if I try soothing her in any other way she manically roots and screams for more milk.
When she does fall asleep on the boob she wakes either when I put her down or just a few mins after falling asleep (I’ve tried delaying putting her down, wrapping her in a blanket, hot water bottle in her basket to warm it up before putting her down and a gro bag swaddle)

She won’t take a dummy, we tried formula to get at least a little stretch of sleep out of her but she won’t take the bottle.

I feel like I’ve been held hostage, I’m getting less than an hour of sleep every night and I’ve started to hallucinate through the day.

Not only is it such hard work but I feel like I’m her only parent, my partner has now started sleeping downstairs so he can properly take care of our son who is 3.

I am missing out on time with my son and the guilt is horrendous.
I just wish I could hand her over to someone so I could sleep but I have to feed her so it’s impossible.

Sorry it’s so long, o just wanted to see if anyone had any advice, anything I haven’t tried. I suffered pnd with my first and I’m scared of slipping back into that with my new baby cause I’m so exhausted and miserable.

[GrumpyHoonMain]

Did a midwife / health visitor check for tongue tie?

[puds11]

Is she latching on properly, does she seem satisfied after a feed? Might be worth contacting your local feeding team as this seems excessive and you obviously need to sleep! Could your partner take her for a walk/ drive tomorrow so you can grab an extra bit of sleep?

[Scythrop]

Maybe your DP could try finger feeding if she won't take a bottle? breastfeeding.support/what-is-finger-feeding/ If you have a baby cafe near you, the lactation consultants there will be able to help you with this, and also with seeing if it's a problem with latch that's causing the long feeds.

You've probably tried this already but we also found letting DD suck a clean finger would give me a break from feeding her, when she wanted comfort rather than being hungry. Apparently they prefer it to a dummy because the finger moves and keeps them interested.

[Scythrop]

And agree with PP about getting her checked for tongue tie (that was DD's problem, in fact). Lactation consultant is the person to ask to do that.

[marmitemayonnaise]

Agree with PP about checking for a tongue tie or palate issue. But also wanted to send sympathy- the early days can be so horrifically hard even without any issues but when they feed round the clock and you get no sleep and not even a few minutes break to yourself it can be the hardest and loneliest time ever.
Try not to feel guilty- your 3 year old is getting some extra special time with daddy, and every day you're getting closer to the baby being bigger and more independent and you'll be able to spend your time more evenly across the two of them. This is how I try to look at it anyway (currently feel I'm neglecting my 2 year old for the newborn who feeds a LOT!)

[puds11]

Yes please don’t feel guilty! You are surviving at this point and it will get better