Constant night waking and in my bed from 4am. Going mad. Help!

[RoseWrites]

As the title suggests - my 13 month old is waking loads in the night. She has always been erratic - some nights11 hours, other times 5 wake ups.
Since she was 9.5 months, we have done CC sleep training 3 times. Esch Each time it worked after just one night. The last time was at 11 months and it worked like a charm - after doing CC at bedtime for just one night, she went down wide awake, stopped night feeds and slept from 7pm to 7am. The dream.
Then a month later she started waking again for 1 feed. She was inconsolable until she was fed. We have 3 older children so leaving her to wail or letting my husband hold her while she wailed in the night, was not an option. Over the last month, waking once for milk at 5am has become waking 4 or 5 times for milk and starting the day at 5.30am. And she only wants me, not DH.
I know part of the issue is us. We should never have reintroduced night feeds, but when she was teething and beside herself, we were desperate to soothe her.
I'm now at my wits end. I'm also back to work next week and cannot continue getting such little sleep.
We have made sure she is getting enough food in the day (she is), she's warm enough, has black out blinds, gets calpol before bed if there is a hint of teething. But still all she wants is her mum and milk ALL night. I thought I'd be winding down BF now but it's more constant than when she was a newborn!
Do we do CC all night/leave her to cry until a sensible time to get up? It feels horribly cruel to do that. Any more gentler ideas?
I fear there will be lots of "it gets easier", which may be true, but at 13 months in it sure doesn't seem like it does at all! Or at least it gets easier and then all goes to sh*t again! :)

[Pantheon]

Hi, that sounds tough. My dd has been up and down with sleep but touch wood doing ok now (19m) and for past few months. What are her naps like? Possibly too long a gap between last nap and bedtime? A book called Nurses when the sunshines helped us with nightweaning, after a few days of giving less and less milk each time. How does your dd get to sleep?

[blackcat86]

Would she accept water from a beaker as she doesn't need night milk now. Have a look at timings for growth spurts and wonder weeks (brain growth) as DD (1) is usually a decent sleeper but would wake suddenly for a week or 2 around the time of a big grow. We would respond as needed and then get back to sleep training. I personally dont like cc as its stressful all round although we do use grizzle it out (if she's just whinging before sleep). Try the little ones sleep programme online, I much preferred it. It also focuses on ensuring baby has enough sleep, food and milk during the day. Seeing DD against her peers I realised that we're quite ahead with weaning which probably helps to.

[BendingSpoons]

We nightweaned at 11 months. There are different approaches but we basically did anything except breastfeed e.g. cuddled, sang, offered water/milk in a cup (which was refused). It was easier than doing CC in the night. Is there any way you can get round the noise issue with your other children e.g. sleeping downstairs, stay elsewhere.