Four month old rocking to sleep

[londonloves]

Hi everyone, I'm hoping for some advice please.

my four month old has to be rocked to sleep for every nap and at night time. He sleeps through the night and has done for a while, rocked or fed to sleep then goes in the Chicco next to me, sleeps usually 10 ish til 7 ish. Daytime naps are roughly 1.5 hours after waking, then again around lunchtime, mid afternoon and late afternoon - led by him yawning and rubbing his eyes, then I rock to sleep, or sometimes later in the day he falls asleep while feeding (bottle fed). Then he naps on my chest, very rarely I've managed to put him down in Chicco or on the sofa but he usually wakes up and cries, so I rock again and hold him while he naps. He also does sleep in the pram and carrier sometimes, but not for long stretches (20-30 mins max).

So I basically have no problem with this conceptually, I don't want to do any sleep training or leave him to cry and I enjoy the cuddles. But he's HEAVY now, and it's taking longer and longer to rock him to sleep. It's starting to really hurt my back and arms and gets me stressed out when it takes 20 mins + to help him go to sleep. Naps are getting shorter (sometimes 20 mins, but sometimes up to 90 mins) and I actually think he's getting too big to be comfortable on my chest, and would probably nap longer if he was lying down.

Im not attached to the idea of a routine but I'm starting to feel that that might help him, and maybe he needs an earlier bedtime and to drop the evening nap. But so far I've let everything just happen naturally and I don't know how to go about introducing changes, gently.

The other issue is that I've gone back to work two days/week this week and my mum is looking after him, she's also struggling physically with the rocking but I don't want to do anything dramatic while he is adjusting to the routine change of two days without me (although he napped for ages with her yesterday and was fine overnight so seems to be unscathed!)

Anyway, I'm feeling slightly guilty about work, still occasionally feeling sad about breast feeding not working out , and I'm just worried that I'm doing this all wrong and stacking up future sleep problems, but I don't want to force him to self settle or sleep alone if he's not ready.

Grateful for any wise words!

[londonloves]

P.s. I know I'm super lucky that he sleeps through the night and that these are very minor issues compared to some babies at this age!

[AvoidingDM]

He's only little I don't so much rock more cuddle mine to sleep.

But can you rock him in the pram?

[londonloves]

I haven't tried rocking in pram, do you mean inside house?

[TittyGolightly]

I rocked DD to sleep in her pram. Stood behind where she couldn’t see me, music on and bumping the pram over a door threshold or bump on the pavement or against my hip. She’d be out like a light in about 2 minutes.

Yes, in the house. Anywhere I needed to.

Helped when she was bigger and we were out and about if she needed a nap (even at age 4 I could borrow a buggy and get her to have a nap this way if she needed one)

[londonloves]

Thanks, I will try this.
Anyone have any other ideas? Do babies just suddenly learn how to self settle by themselves?

[TittyGolightly]

It’s a developmental thing, so yes, pretty much. It’s often years rather than months though.