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Toddler Naps

(20 Posts)
rabbitsdontlayeggs Wed 06-Dec-17 14:59:03

My DD is 20 months. She sleeps about 12 hours at night (bar the odd teething/illness wake ups) and has either 1 or 2 naps a day. Sometimes she sleeps longer in the morning (so she'll go roughly 6:30pm- 7:30am for example) so on those days we don't do a morning nap but when she wakes around 6-6:30 am we do. She sleep late maybe 3 days a week so it's roughly half the time. She seems to be slowly transitioning to one nap a day which I thought was about right for her age.

I've had lots of comments about how she's 'too old' to be napping now and definitely far too old to be napping twice a day. I would agree if she wasn't sleeping well at night but she is.

I'm a SAHM so am easily able to accommodate her naps. She won't nap unless we're home, if we're out unavoidably and she doesn't have one then she's grumpy as anything. It is a bit restrictive, but as I say I don't mind, it's only for a short while in the scheme of things (and means I can get stuff done at home but that's an unexpected bonus).

Most of the people with a negative opinion of this are friends and family who get put out that I don't make arrangements with them during nap times - they are welcome to come to me if they like but I don't tend to go out. So currently on a two nap day I'm at home between 8:30am-10am then 1-3pm on a one nap day it's more like 12:30pm- 3pm. There's no point in me meeting friends for coffee, or going shopping with someone at 1pm because that's when it's convenient for them if I have a whingy toddler who needs her bed and my constant attention to prevent a toddler wobbler. That's how I see it, anyway.

One friend seems to be getting very offended that we don't meet her at a playgroup that runs when DD is in bed. She's never 'let' (whatever that means) her four children nap after approx age 1 because as she puts it 'I wanted to get out and about, and they need to fit in with me so they learned to deal with it'. I should add though that I'm wary of taking sleep advice from her because none of her (now older) children sleep well, they are 1,3,5 and 7 and all still are terrible to get down at night, wake frequently and they all end up playing musical beds every night. She seems to think I'm being a soft touch.

Anyway what I'm asking is how did you manage naps at his age? Should I be pushing her to drop naps? Or just carry on as we are and ignore other people's opinions?

woollyjumperseason Wed 06-Dec-17 15:12:29

My wee girl still had 2 naps at this age and only when she started being difficult to put down for her nap did we go down to one. which i think was around 22months. that nap was around 11.30am for anywhere between 1.5-3hrs long. It cut out a lot of groups but i just put up with it as it was much easier to deal with being in the house with a happy toddler than out with a grumpy one.

She has now moved that nap to 1-4pm. there is no way she could go all day without this.

I would go with what works for you and you child as every child is different especially as you are happy with your current set up.

ElphabaTheGreen Wed 06-Dec-17 15:17:48

Carry on as you are! I think people are mainly jealous of your epic sleeper like I am and are trying to inflict a grumpy toddler on you as retribution! Technically, they do transition to one nap at her age, but if she does that naturally for you, then give yourself an easier life and don't force it.

FWIW, DS1 dropped his last nap at around 2.5yo, my DS2 is only just dropping his now at 3.4yo, although I have been trying to talk him out of it as it started affecting his night sleep a few months ago. Many children carry on needing a nap up until they start school, so no way is she too old to nap.

Kentnurse2015 Wed 06-Dec-17 15:19:14

It's tricky. My daughter had dropped her naps totally by that age. My son is 16 months and has 1 nap a day in the afternoon but he will either have that at home or in The pram if I'm out and about.

I guess for you being at home and only 1 child it's fine to do what suits you but it must get quite restrictive. If you had more than one child then you would need to fit in school runs which would inevitably affect things.

You probably ideally need to try and move to 1 nap at least at this age and get out and about a bit more!

ElphabaTheGreen Wed 06-Dec-17 15:20:39

PS Your nap timings are good. 12:30 is a good start for a one-nap day. As she drops to one nap you might want an earlier lunch for her and start it at 12, if she gets tired earlier, but otherwise it's perfect.

I wish mine would only ever have napped at home. I would have milked that excuse for all it was worth so I could kip myself!

rabbitsdontlayeggs Wed 06-Dec-17 15:23:17

@ElphabaTheGreen She is a fab sleeper which definitely has its perks (evenings to ourselves is wonderful as is being able to leave her at home with GPs of an evening without worrying that she'll be hard to settle). But we all have our challenges - she's a total fussy pest food wise. Drives me to distraction.

ElphabaTheGreen Wed 06-Dec-17 15:24:47

PPS Your offended friend probably has woefully under-slept children. Bad napping leads to bad night sleep under a certain age. I can guarantee her 'not letting' them nap has bitten her on the arse when it comes to her unsettled nights, so give your best Mumsnet tinkly laugh at that pearl of wisdom, and carry on as you are.

BoredOnMatLeave Wed 06-Dec-17 15:26:00

I don't think it matters either way but don't understand your logic that if she's a good sleeper at night she needs more naps? Surely it's the other way round. My DD sleeps 12+ hours but only has 1 nap fwiw.

I understand the not making plans though, we've just mastered naps in the pram which help so much and means we can go out for the full day. Sounds like your happy with your set up though!

ElphabaTheGreen Wed 06-Dec-17 15:27:41

Oh, my non-sleepers are fussy, awful eaters as well. DS1's superpower was that he was a doddle to potty train. Haven't worked out DS2's yet. He's cute? Really good at poking foreign objects up his nose? grin

foxessocks Wed 06-Dec-17 15:29:18

My dd used to nap from 1pm - 3pm at that age so we never went to any afternoon groups. I'd occasionally do something in the afternoon and she would sleep in the car to or from. Depends what it was. But regular groups I would just say shes asleep- no point causing unnecessary stress!

My ds is a totally different ballgame though. He won't fall asleep at home only in the car. He is 15 months and already only has one (mostly short!)nap and seems to time any long naps for the days we have to pick my dd up from nursery so I end up having to wake him up anyway hmm make the most of it is my advice!!!

Bailamosobailemos Wed 06-Dec-17 15:30:18

I would carry on and enjoy! Your toddler could change her schedule any day now anyway, naturally. Your friend's advice is quite poor imo but maybe it worked for her (or not!)

Kentnurse2015 Wed 06-Dec-17 15:35:05

Neither of my children have been huge fans of naps but always sleep well so the logic of poor naps = poor nights doesn't always work.

FurryGiraffe Wed 06-Dec-17 15:36:19

I don't think it matters either way but don't understand your logic that if she's a good sleeper at night she needs more naps? Surely it's the other way round. My DD sleeps 12+ hours but only has 1 nap fwiw.

I don't think the OP meant that being a good night sleeper means she needs more naps. I presume OP means that the large amounts of daytime sleep aren't interfering with her nights (or making her difficult to get to sleep at night), so she clearly needs the lengthy daytime naps.

Honestly, if it works for you, it works for you. It sounds like she's a child who needs a lot of sleep and that's great. Wish my 18 month old slept 12 hours or through the night grin

rabbitsdontlayeggs Wed 06-Dec-17 16:47:49

Yes @FurryGiraffe that's what I meant - 1 or 2 day naps don't interfere with her night sleep. I don't think she needs more naps because she sleeps well at night, that wouldnt make sense. If naps did interfere with bedtime I would change them without question.

icantdothis2017 Wed 06-Dec-17 17:29:53

Neither of my children have been huge fans of naps but always sleep well so the logic of poor naps = poor nights doesn't always work

This .
My 22 month old doesn't nap but sleeps 12 hours solid at night still .

Am slightly jealous yours naps and sleeps well at night

PontypandyPioneer Wed 06-Dec-17 17:40:22

I would carry on as you are if she's sleeping that well! Amazing and I'm quite jealous!!

My now 3 year old stopped napping altogether at 21 months and my 17 month old looks to be heading the same way as he only has about an hour at around 1.30-2.30pm.

Make the most of it!

FATEdestiny Wed 06-Dec-17 17:42:27

My DD transitioned from 2 naps per day to 1 nap per day between 20-22 months. It's late to transition, but not unheard of.

At 20 months:
8pm-7am uninterputed night
9-11am nap
1-3pm (or 2-4pm) nap

At 22 months:
8pm-7am uninterputed night
11am-3pm nap

From 24 months to now (3y3m)
7..30am - 7/7.30am uninterputed night
12pm-3pm nap

HeyMicky Wed 06-Dec-17 17:47:22

Both of mine went from 2 to 1 at about 16 months. But if it’s working for you all then go with it.

DD2 (2.7) still naps two hours every day and DD1 (5.3 and at school) still does 90 mins on the weekend and most days on holidays. Keep it as long as you can!

PonderLand Wed 06-Dec-17 17:49:53

My son is 18 months and he has 1 nap a day, it used to be 10-12 but it's moved 12-2. Ive always found his naps are quite anti-social as most groups are on a morning. I tried doing the whole 'he'll work around me' but all that happened is that I was stuck at a group with a crying whinging toddler, I couldn't socialise anyway and my son didn't have fun at all.

I've found people get put out if I say it's his nap time but they'd have a miserable time with us so it's for everyone's benefit. Stick to your naps guns!

rabbitsdontlayeggs Wed 06-Dec-17 18:40:28

@PonderLand that's exactly what happens with us on the few occasions I've bitten the bullet and just taken her somewhere. I took her to meet my friends newborn (well 3 week old) a few weeks ago. I said it'd be better for me to come alone another time - trying to be considerate, who wants any toddler running rampant with a newborn? - but friend was insistent it was the only time that worked for her and it was fine to bring DD. Ok, so I took her and as expected she whinged and moaned the whole time. I managed to keep her quiet for about fifteen minutes with snacks and CBeebies and then we had to leave, it wasn't fair on my friend or DD.

Thanks for all your replies - at least now I feel more confident 'pandering' to DD rather than pandering to the wants of other adults! Lucky I'm a homebody anyway isn't it! smile

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