Getting 2.5 yo to sleep through!

[Lovelymonkeyninetynine]

Hi, I’ve posted here with marvellous success before so hoping for some wise words (or just sympathy from those in the same boat.)
I was previously sitting with both my 4yo and 2 yo to get them to sleep and both were waking up in the night which was hideous.
With great advice from fate destiny my 4yo goes to sleep on his own finally and stays there!
My 2.5 yo will lie in bed for a bit fairly content but will the start shouting ‘mummy’ not particularly upset or anything but it carries on until I give in and sit with her till she falls asleep. Not too bothered about this part. But she still wakes up every night about 2ish or sometimes earlier. Asking for me and sometimes crying. She won’t have my husband settle her so I’ve always done it. It’s getting to me now though and actually puts me off going out for the night a lot in case she wakes at 10:30/11 or something. Please help!!

[FATEdestiny]

This is solvable with your 2 year old. Might take a bit of time, but its doable.

You either need to:

● remove the battle of will she/ won't she stay with me while I go up sleep. Do this by always stopping while she goes to sleep. But keep the level of reassurance needed ever reducing, in a gradual way.

Say start sitting on the bed, facing child, hand on chest. Then after a few days a significant on bed, face side on to child, hand on chest until asleep. Then side on and hand on chest knlh even distressed, just fitting waiting even calm. Hand back if needed, removed when calm. Then sat on floor. Hand on chest to reassure, removed when calm. Then stood by bed. Then stood facing away from bed. And so on...

Or

● rapid return. Be very deliberate about the fact you are leaving the room after saying nan night. Have an affirmation, something like "sleep time now, we lie quietly to sleep, nan night". Then set expectations before hand and be completely consistent.

So no faffing. Kiss, say affirmation, leave, close door (and listen through the door). Any movement away from the bed and immediately return. Repeat affirmation, kiss, leave. Repeat over and over and over and over again. It might be a million times first night. Be consistent and see it through, it should get easier over time.

[Lovelymonkeyninetynine]

Thank you Fate! And for your previous help.
I’m guessing then that if she gets used to me not being there when she falls asleep she won’t need me when she wakes up.
I hadn’t thought of it being will I won’t I be there but can see that now! Thanks again x

[Acorncat]

Mine did this at 2.5 but by 3 was sleeping through almost every night. I still stay with him while he falls asleep, that doesn't impact his wakening. I didn't do anything differently, it was just a developmental thing.

[Lovelymonkeyninetynine]

Thanks acorn that’s interesting. Hadn’t thought of it like that, weirdly!

[FATEdestiny]

I also stayed with my DD until asleep. Then used gradual withdrawal to get baby independently sleeping.

My baby was sleeping through inconsistently from 9m and consistently by 12m. I had gradually withdrawn and no longer needed in the room by 13 or 14 months old, with GW process starting from birth, so over a year of small changes towards independent sleep.

[Youcantscaremeihavechildren]

Our 2.9 yr old has always needed me there to go to sleep and still hasnt given up the bf before bed so it was doubly shit as I had to put him to bed, screaming and fighting sleep if I didnt.
I still give him a quick bf and hoping to stop this after xmas, but I started playing him a story from audible, the sleepy rabbit who wants to go to sleep..I now play it and tell him Im going to check on dd, pop back a few times, but the last few nights he's listened to it and dropped off by himself, which has quite literally never happened before...
Its really annoying to listen to and he still wakes around 4.30 - 5am most mornings by climbing into bed with us and demanding milk, which he doesnt get, but it's progress! It's hypnosis based but I can't imagine he understands all of it, he likes it though and the woman reading it is doorhing, hes not do keen on the veraion with the bloke reading it

[Believeitornot]

Could something be waking her at that hour?

[littlekellysmum]

@FATEdestiny I really like the affirmation part of your post. My 3 yo use to have trouble with sleeping when she was around 2. I did not intentionally use affirmation to make her sleep, but I do remember using similar words looking at her while she is lying down on the bed. I remember it worked. Looking back, now I realize that it was a method similar to what you described. Afterall kids are human beings. When we give a focus and direction saying what to do, their subconscious mind listens.