Holding my 15 mo hand until she falls asleep

[Billi77]

Yes it is adorable but my back is starting to hurt!

My 'routine' looks a little like this:

[Starlight2345]

While he looks adorable.. Yes move towards letting him fall asleep without physical contact..

[Billi77]

Sorry didn't finish as had to hold her hand again!

[Billi77]

She's in bed after bath at 8. I hold her hand in the dark until about 8.30. She sleeps till 8.30 with the occasional whimper, one of which ends up with me pulling her out of her cot and into my bed where she stays until I wake her up in the morning. The clocks are going back soon, winter is coming so this is likely to get earlier and earlier. She has a nap at lunchtime for an hour or two.
I actually quite enjoy this routine but my work is soon going to involve going out a few nights a week, so leaving her with anyone else is going to be tough as I know she will be miserable and then i will feel guilty, etc, etc. And it's just the two of us in the family..

[silkybear]

sounds like a good time for a teddy bear or comfort blanket to make an appearance. maybe hold one hand and let them hug teddy with the other for a couple of nights to phase it out?

[Billi77]

I have tried that but it has ended up with her throwing the teddy across the room or playing with it giggling. she only wants my hand and will not be fooled :)

[silkybear]

Also could you do a gradual retreat method rather than bringing her into your bed? so first night you sit on floor next to cot until asleep, next night you sit a metre away, then behind the door ect but still go in as soon as shes upset...there are specific plans online. this is what we did with clingy dd and it worked, we still went to her when she cried but didnt let her into our bed any longer. good luck!

[silkybear]

ok not the teddy then ha ha. i would hug her then let go of her hand but sit right next to her. if she cries hug her again then let go and put down. repeat. you might have to do it a hundred times the first night but as long as you are sitting right there she will not feel abandoned in any way.

[Billi77]

oh my poor poor back.... how is your DD and sleep now? when/did you move her to her own room?

[silkybear]

sorry just seen this. she was in with us til 8 months then in own cot but breastfed to sleep til 18 mnths, then rocked to sleep for a month (me and dh used to pace round nursery and she'd sleep on our shoulder then transfer to cot), then sat in with her until she fell asleep for a month or so (we got a comfy chair in her room and just sat and ignored her but stayed present- if she cried just pick up say gnite and sit down again) then a week of gradual retreat so sitting just outside her door then going in if she cries, hug and then put down again. shes just turning 2 next week and now she goes to sleep 730 to 8am solid, we say gnite put her in cot with teddy and walk away. job done. took a while but was worth it as we have our evenings back so 6 months from breast to walking out, im sure it can be done quicker.

[silkybear]

you can probably see from my post we had no idea what to do so tried whatever worked gradually over time. all my friends did cry it out and had sleeping babies within a few days but i didnt want to do it so we resigned to try it our own way.

[Billi77]

Yes. Crying it out and I will never be friends... I also had no plan as such but somehow have ended up more in the attachment parenting category despite hating all these categories! Spent ages getting her bedroom ready and only use it to change her nappies and play a bitxxx