Falling asleep in his cot

[amym2015]

Hi! I'm new to this but slightly at a loss as to how to tackle my toddlers problem so hoping someone might have some genius suggestions! He has always been a great sleeper and rarely wakes in the night, however, he will only fall asleep with me. I won't let him in our bed except on rare occasions as I don't want him to learn to be in our bed all the time. He is always asleep with me or my husband on the sofa by 8pm at the latest, usually 7.30 and I used to enjoy this cuddle time and my husband does too. As soon as he is asleep he goes into his cot and we don't hear from him until morning. No one is sleep deprived or stressed and in fact I do still enjoy the cuddles but am becoming more aware that he won't go in his cot awake. He just cries and cries. I need to tackle this but just don't know how to! Where do I start?!

[FATEdestiny]

You first need to decide if you want to do this the quick and distressing way, or the slow and gentle way.

The quickest way would be to simply just bite the bullet. Spend time preparing and explaining in the daytime. At night into cot, fully awake after teeth brush and story. Kiss, say nan night and leave, closing door. Give it 5 or 10 mins (of screaming) and go back in. Quick kiss, say nan night and leave without faffing, closing door. Repeat repeat repeat.

It should be sorted within a week. Probably within 2 or 3 nights. But loads of lengthy screaming.

Other way is gently. It might take many months of gradually making changes. The idea is to take up stairs when slightly less of a deep sleep, very slowly and gradually as the weeks pass.

Say for example she starts going to sleep on sofa at 7.30 and is in a deep sleep and ready to take up at 8pm.

For a week or so take her up at 7.55, but stay in her room cuddling until 8.15 then into cot

Then have a week or so of 7.50 upstairs and in-room cuddle until 8.15 then into cot

Then upstairs at 7.50, in room cuddles until 8.10 and into cot at 8.10, but you stay with your hand on her chest/back until 8.30

Up at 7.45 for bedroom cuddles. Into cot at 8.00 for in-cot hand on chest/back reassurance until 8.30

Up for 7.30, into cot 8.00, leave 8.30
Up for 7.30, into cot 7.45, leave 8.15
Up for 7.30, into cot 7.45, leave 8.00
Up for 7.30, into cot 7.35, leave 8.00

... you get the idea

[OhWifey]

If no one is stressed and you enjoy the snuggles then it sounds like there's no 'need' to change anything. It won't be forever and as he becomes more adept at language those times may become really special as you reflect on your day together. It's also a really common time for any worries to come out. Gradually he will retreat from you and one day will ask to go to bed on his own.