Newborn grunting all night

[user1488794856]

Hi all, I am new to mumsnet and looking for some reassaurance.
I have a beautiful dd who is 4.5 weeks old, she is ff due to breastfeeding issues from birth, ready made apitmal1 (she has expensive taste 😂)
She is generally a pretty content baby touch wood, however once she goes down for the evening, she grunts and strains nonstop all night long.
She isn't constipated, she burps well and farts like a trooper so we have ruled out all of these issues. We have had her checked by a doc who says it is normal in newborns and ruled out silent reflux.
The problem is that due to her grunting I cannot sleep for a minute and it's becoming very stressful. I am not comfortable with cosleeping so just lay awake all night until 4am where dp takes her downstairs ( he seems to sleep through it)
I just need some mums of fellow grinders to tell me it will get better, it's making me feel really low and just knowing that it has resolved itself for others will give me the encouragement to try and deal with it.
Also, if you have a grinder what strategies have you used to deal with it? E.g. Sleeping in shifts, ear plugs etc
Thank you everyone!

[user1488794856]

Grunter not grinder!

[gamerchick]

Yeah newborns are noisy. It does get better though although I can't remember when. I'm not sure what to suggest apart from trying to tune it out. I don't think I would have liked to wear ear plugs. Would a background noise help like a white noise machine maybe?

[SolomanDaisy]

It gets better! Eventually you get tired enough to sleep through most of it, then they stop. My four-month old doesn't do it any more.

[FATEdestiny]

Baby may not be in a very deep sleep, you could encourage dummy sucking to get her into a deeper sleep (dummy will come out when in a deep sleep)

Another thing that encourages deeper sleeping is swaddling.

Aside from that, white noise will drown out background noise. Ear plugs are doable with an older child, I wouldnt recommend with a newborn though since you are still learning to respond to her.

Something as an aside issue to consider: being unable to sleep when given the opportunity, especially when already sleep deprived, is a Red Flag for Post Natal Depression.

[welshweasel]

Newborns are noisy buggers. I highly recommend ear plugs. DS was in a cosleeper until 7 months and the only way I managed sleep was with the plugs. Don't worry, you'll still hear everything you need to, just not the annoying snuffles and grunts. Unfortunately it didn't get better once he was in his own room as he's just as loud on the monitor (we have to keep doors shut for other reasons so need a monitor). Honestly, get some ear plugs, my whole nct group ended up using them for the same reason!

[user1488794856]

Thanks everyone.

I am pretty sure I don't have pnd, even tho I am struggling to sleep, I enjoy the daytimes and weekends, it's just the evenings that are hard in anticipation for no sleep.

Unfortunately her volume it just so loud it cuts straight through me and has now become a trigger for anxiety in me, so nighttime is just a bit of a viscous cycle at the moment.

I also don't feel 100% comfortable with earplugs. What is quite strange is that she seems to grunt less if she is next to my husband than me, could I maybe be disturbing her, e.g. The smell of me makes her want to be on me, whereas she doesn't have this association with him? Anyone else experienced this?

I feel terrible as it puts more responsibility on dh which I want to take on myself as he runs his own business and needs the sleep.

Am I putting too much pressure on myself? Did anyone else's dh chip in during the nights for the early months whilst working?

[Belager]

It's normal. My DD grunted like a trooper first few months. She was asleep though. Soon I was just so tired I slept though. Trust me you'll wake for cries! HTH

[IMissGin]

Agree it's very normal. Could you perhaps go to bed first, then your DH put her down once you're already asleep? This might mean you at least get a few hours before you're disturbed and aware of it

[FATEdestiny]

Is this your first child? Learning how to respond to and cope with your newborn network is part of the nonding process. It is hard. But in the long term, handing this responsibility to your partner is not ultimately beneficial to anyone.

Sure, your DH should be helping in the night. To expect him to take full night time responsibility, or large chunks of it, will surely completely wipe him out after not long? Assuming he is working all day, he'll have little down time.

Could you cosleep for daytime naps so you and baby both get some rest?

[FourKidsNotCrazyYet]

That's one thing no one ever mentions is it? Everyone knows newborns cry but no one really warns you about the stretching/grunting/sleep shrieking/ hiccuping/and snorting they do while they are actually asleep. Baby number four goes to school this year. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat

[user1488794856]

It's so true, nobody mentions that sleeping next to a newborn is like sleeping in a barn!

She sounds like a puppy/goat/dolphin hybrid!

That is my fear with dh as he is so kind and loving he wouldn't tell me if he was tired and suffering. But at the moment she sleeps a lot more peacefully next to him, of course when she wakes I still feed, comfort and resettle her, but I lay her back down next to him (in snuzpod) rather than next to me.

I love her so much and I don't want to wish the weeks away, but there is sleep deprivation and then there is 0 sleep 😴

The online consensus on this issue seems to be that it passes by about 12 weeks, I desperately hope this is true!

[Squidgling]

My doctor recommended wearing one earplug when I saw her for DDs 6 week check up so I did that for a while. It helped to muffle the noise a little without me being too panicked that I wouldn't hear her cry to actually sleep.

[FourKidsNotCrazyYet]

I would second the ear plugs. You'll hear her cry but it'll drown enough out for you to get some sleep. I love the puppy/dolphins hybrid. Made me chuckle! Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture because it is awful! I do sympathise but it really won't last forever. Many congratulations on your little girl too.

[FartnissEverbeans]

It's like sleeping in Jurassic Park. I remember thinking that DS sounded like a cross between a guinea pig and a velociraptor. I couldn't sleep through it either and it made me pretty anxious too, but it did pass.

Now I just get anxious if he makes no noise at all

[thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter]

like a cross between a guinea pig and a velociraptor

Thank you FartnissEverbeans I could never put my finger on it (sort of sniffly like a hedgehog but also abit warthogish) but that's the exact noise!

user have you tried white noise to kind of drown out the noise your baby makes? We have an air purifier/filter that's noisy enough to cover random grunty noises, the only thing is if you can only sleep in pure silence then that's no help either - sorry!

[welshweasel]

In the early days I would go to bed at 8-9pm and DS would stay downstairs with DH until 12-1am when he would give him a feed then bring him up asleep and place him in the cot beside me (he was in a sleepyhead so easy to do). I'd then do the middle of the night feed and DH would get 6 hours sleep before he had to get up and go to work. By 10 weeks he stopped waking for the 3-4am feed so we would all go to bed at 11pm after the final feed. Your DH should absolutely be helping in some way overnight. Mine would also bring a cup of tea and toast up before he left for work so at least I'd eaten. Once I was back at work at 4 months we shared any night waking, as we do now.

[2ducks2ducklings]

What is the temperature in the room? When we had our daughter we were so paranoid about her overheating in the hospital ward that we had the temperature set too low. Our daughter began grunting, so I asked the midwife and she said she was way too cold. We ending up bundling her up to bring her temperature up!

[Desmondo2016]

We had this. White noise and DH sleeping on the side next to her crib helped for us. We're now 11 weeks in and she sleeps 9-11 hours a night since 8 weeks so we've detached the crib and put it a bit further from our bed although she is less grunty now anyway.

[Apfelbunny]

Haha, newborns are annoyingly noisy. Mine spent a month doing all the grunting and also making sheep noises until I gave up and gave up my side of the bed (babies sleep annoyingly well in adult beds) - now they sleep like a...ERM...Quiet thing...Not a baby!

(I know, co sleeping bad, but no sleep is worse. I never let them near the duvet, so I wake up cold, and I sleep a safe distance away to avoid over heating, they can't roll out because I'm on the edge with one foot on the floor and I lie in such a way it'd be impossible for me to roll onto them - I also have my foot that's in the bed at dh's back to stop them rolling too)

[RicottaPancakes]

Perhaps mention it to your HV/GP?

[toffeeboffin]

Wouldn't be comfortable with ear plugs either OP.

It helps if you can raise the mattress slightly, use a rolled up towel underneath to prop it up. They breathe easier then.

[pastabest]

DD is five weeks old and I was frantically googling a few days ago with the same question

I have found a dummy helps immensely despite saying I wouldn't use one. Like the previous poster I have also found an extra layer seems to help, I think she was getting a bit chilly some nights.

I have also found white noise helps.

Also as another previous poster said, she sleeps silently if she is in the bed with us, but then I don't sleep for fear of squishing her so it's no better than her grunting away in her side sleeper cot!

[ElspethFlashman]

Look, you just have to bite the bullet and use ear plugs. Most are kinda crappy and only takes the edge off enough so you can sleep. You can hear when they thump their legs for example.

[user1488794856]

Thanks for all your suggestions, I hadn't considered that she might be cold, it is between 18-20 in our room and she wears a grobag that also works as a swaddle.

It's nice to hear that another baby sleeps better on your dh side of the bed, although baffling!

Babies are a real mystery aren't they!

[mvilma6]

Dear user 14887948, i know post is 3 years old but im in EXACTLY the same situation, my 6 weeks premature baby is the same as u described, cross between goat/dolphin everytime he falls asleep but at night is unberable.

How did your experience ended? When did ur little one passed that stage and became a silent little angel? Lol, well at least i hope she did.

Im so sleep depraved that i cant function. Need some advice