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Putting baby down awake

10 replies

BoyMumma · 21/02/2017 10:04

Hello mummies, hoping to hear your experiences and advice!

I'm a 1st time mum, DS will be 4 months old this week, and for almost 2 weeks we have been working on putting him down awake to go off to sleep at bedtime and for naps. When I say awake...I use this term loosely!! Basically just rock him until he is calm/happy and then put him down. Have managed to put him down from completely awake a couple of times but often he gets upset when he's put down and so we pick him back up or comfort without picking up if possible. At no point do we let him cry, neither of us are comfortable with that, and so often he has to be rocked until quite drowsy or almost asleep before I can put him down, but try very hard not to have him completely asleep when put down.
I know this will be a gradual thing and am not expecting this to happen overnight but would just like to hear some experiences of how long it took you to achieve this? Any advice or tips?
Thanks so much!!

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FATEdestiny · 21/02/2017 12:25

If you are using a dummy and staying to comfort until asleep, you probably could do this now. In the newborn stage (before 3 months) it's unreasonable to expect unless swaddling. But lay down next to you (in co sleeper cot), with dummy and full tummy, it's achievable at 4 months.

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BoyMumma · 21/02/2017 18:56

Thank you FATE. Have you done this, how long did it take until you could put baby down and leave them to go to sleep on their own?
I am staying to comfort but DS is not interested in a dummy.

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FATEdestiny · 21/02/2017 19:28

Depends on the child.

DC4 it took until she was 12 months to be able to put her in the cot, standing up and fully awake and her to settle herself off to sleep in her own.

DC3 was about 5 weeks old.

DC2 was about 6 months old.

DC1 I didn't use this method for sleep.

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BoyMumma · 24/02/2017 16:37

Thanks FATE

Bumping to hear any other experiences out there?

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Millipede170 · 25/02/2017 11:13

DS wouldn't take a dummy either for the first 4 months and we were rocking to sleep then putting down (v gingerly!) into his cot. I bought him one of the cherry type soothers and he took it, and like magic i could plop him into his cot and he'd nod off. At 6 months we took the dummy away and although there were a couple of torrid nights, he has self settled at nap/bedtime ever since. Night wakings are a different story.

So if you wanted to introduce a dummy, it might not be game over; keep trying when he's drowsy and your DS might suddenly decide it's The Thing.

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RandomMess · 25/02/2017 11:20

I did this with mine and they were all a bit different.

If for 4 months your baby has been put down asleep, I reckon you are looking at around 4 months to "teach" something different.

Just keep going, you'll get there

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Christmasbaby16 · 26/02/2017 16:17

We put our 13 week old down once he has been fed and Is settled, he will go off to sleep himself with no fuss, no dummy, he's does this consistently since 10 weeks now. Lucky I guess but he has always been a good sleeper.
I personally wouldn't swaddle but use a baby sleep bag instead.

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Scrumptiouscrumpets · 26/02/2017 18:09

DS1 was about 5 months old when he settled himself to sleep with me there, he didn't have any other source of comfort. He'd just slowly drop off. I never actively tried to teach him, feeding to sleep just stopped working.

DS2 was 5 months as well, but I actively encouraged him to go to sleep on his own. I started when he was about 3.5 months old, which was when he no longer automatically fell asleep at the breast. I put him down completely awake and gave him his dummy. Sometimes he'd go to sleep like that, sometimes he'd cry and I would put him back on the breast and feed him to sleep. Now I put him down fully awake, leave the room and he goes to sleep without a murmur - BUT he started sucking his thumb 6 weeks ago and this is definitely the reason he settles so easily!

I would just keep trying, your baby will get the hang of it sooner or later.

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FATEdestiny · 26/02/2017 18:24

I should clarify with my post above, those lengths of time were getting to the point of putting baby down awake and leaving.

Putting baby down awake in the cot and staying close by to help baby go to sleep in the cot (with dummy) started from as soon as the child was out of the newborn stage, so about 2-3 months old.

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BoyMumma · 08/05/2017 15:19

Thank you for all your guidance everyone! Thought I'd just check back in to say that we are pretty much there, I don't want to count my chickens too soon as we've just moved Baby into his own room, but we are now putting him down awake with a comforter and white noise, and leaving the room!

Honestly thought I'd still be rocking him to sleep when he was 1 at one point!!