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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Sleep

16 month old never slept through- ideas?

12 replies

mumofthreesmallmen3 · 09/02/2017 06:48

hi

My 16 month old has never slept through the night, I'm looking for some ideas to try to get him sleeping better as lately he is getting worse. We have 2 older children 4 and 7 who share a room, and me my partner and baby share the other room. He goes down fine for naps, we lay him down normally with a juice and he goes straight off, either one or two naps a day depending what time he wakes.
When we put him down at night he goes to sleep fine. He normally starts to wake around 10 pm when we go up to bed no matter how quiet we are. He won't take a dummy and never has. We normally offer him his juice ( I know it's bad for his teeth ) sometimes he will have a little suck and go back off, other times he won't and the screaming starts, this goes on all night until we get up around 5-6 am.

I'm not sure wether we should sleep elsewhere ( we have a blow up bed ) maybe downstairs or the other room and let him cry it out? I think as we are in the same room and he can see us he wants us and has got used to us picking him up for a cuddle when he gets really upset and we need to break this habit as it's not good for any of us to be getting so little sleep.

Does anyone have any ideas?

Thanks

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Artandco · 09/02/2017 06:53

I would stop all juice at all naps and bedtime. A) terrible for teeth b) he sided to settling with it, so when wakes needs it or something to resettle.

At 16 months I would have a bed routine of milk in cup at table, then into pjs and teeth done. Then into bedroom with story and into bed. Drinks completely unrelated to bedtime routine. Do similar with story and clean nappy at naps

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LapinR0se · 09/02/2017 06:59

Why is he having juice in bed? All that sugar is definitely not good for sleep.
What times are the naps?

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mumofthreesmallmen3 · 09/02/2017 07:01

Ok thank you, I will try no more drinks in the cot. Hopefully he will learn to settle without. What do you recommend for when he wakes, I don't want to get into the routine of picking him up as he may get used to that and will still wake frequently?
Do you think it will be best to come out of the room for a while so we can't be seen? And just go in periodically try and soothe him without picking up until he relents and goes to sleep?

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mumofthreesmallmen3 · 09/02/2017 07:04

It's very watered down sugar free black currant but I know it's not good we've just been so desperate for sleep, he's not interested in milk in the night although that is still not good for teeth, I am going to try no more drinks at night time.
Depending on what time he wakes, if it's very early like 5-5.30 normally around 10 am for 1.5 hours then again around 2.30 for a hour ish. If he's up slightly later 6.30 am or so I hold him out until after the nursery run at 12.30 and he will sleep 12.45 until 3 when I need to wake him to do the school run.

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HeteronormativeHaybales · 09/02/2017 07:06

Can you replace the juice with water? Then he still gets the sucking (which is prob the issue) and hydration but not the sugar etc.
My 16mo wakes at least a couple of times each night, but she's bf and sleeps next to me (we go to bed at the same time - not too early, she's no. 3 and I've never had one of those 'in bed by 7' children) so just has a quick suck/feed and drops off again, usually quickly.

He's still very little. Why would it be a good idea to deny him the comfort of cuddling him at night? Would you like to be awake at night, upset and crying, and have your dh shut you in another room and ignore you? If not, why do it to a baby who can't begin to process why? There's loads of time to think of breaking 'habits' later.

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LapinR0se · 09/02/2017 07:07

Naps are good.
It's very tricky with him sleeping in with you for sure. Is that the long term plan or do you want to move him into the other room?

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Artandco · 09/02/2017 07:09

I would try and resettle him without picking up if possible. If not pick up, calm down and resettle. No drinks

Can you take side off cot? Maybe he doesn't like it? At 16 months he could just climb In and out fine and easier to resettle as can get down to his level and soothe without bars in the way.

I wouldn't leave the room though. He needs to learn how to sleep with people if the option is with you or siblings reaslisticaly

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mumofthreesmallmen3 · 09/02/2017 07:15

The other room is very large and at some point would like to move him in with his brothers, not possible at the moment as it wouldn't be fair. Also at some point will be moving to a 3 bed just not possible at the moment so have to make do.
I think he knows we're there he can see us and that makes it worse. I will definitely try no more drinks in cot for naps and night.
I'm not planning on shutting him in there for the whole night I was thinking more of him learning at bedtime it's sleep time and when he Crys going in trying to soothe him without picking him up and then leaving him again for 5 mins etc until he learns? When we pick him up he's instantly calm, happy, wants to play get down and crawl around so I don't think he's in any pain or anything I think it's probably habit that is waking him, he knows when he wakes he gets juice or he gets us cuddling him and it's become a habit for him.
The cot side doesn't come off, and if it did he'd probably play all night!

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Artandco · 09/02/2017 07:21

I wouldn't leave him, but soothe from him inside cot, then sit next to him whilst he settles. Try not to pick up if you know it's an issue

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mumofthreesmallmen3 · 09/02/2017 07:59

Thankyou I will try all this and pray it works as we are TIRED

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Artandco · 09/02/2017 08:41

Also maybe move bedtime later so he is knackered when you start new routine without drink to settle. And might help with later wake up. Can always bring forward gradually if it works

Ie aim for 8.30pm bedtime this week. If at end of week he is settling ok without drink and waking less and ideally later, bring forward to 8.15, gradually, then 8pm etc

Also suggest dinner isn't too early. A dinner of main evening meal at 5pm being last food, you can expect 5am wake ups maybe as hungry 12 hrs later. Try main meal 6-6.30pm. Then small cup warm milk at table before bedtime starts. Ie milk 8pm for 8.30pm in bed

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mumofthreesmallmen3 · 09/02/2017 09:32

I Will try and make bed time slightly later but 8.30 may be too late, the other boys go to bed at 7.30, baby is normally around 7 ish. We do have dinner early though normally 4.30 4.45 in the week as the kids are starving after school but I will push this back a bit to maybe half 5.