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Somebody please help!

(26 Posts)
lseldon Sun 20-Nov-16 00:34:33

My baby won't sleep in her crib, it's never been easy getting her in there but I think we had finally cracked it and then she came down with her first cough/cold and since then she won't go back in there! I don't want to co-sleep cos I'm terrified she'll get hurt so I'm not getting much sleep at the moment. I really don't want to do the cry it out method, are there any other things that work? She sleeps lots on me, I'm breastfeeding so I think she may be using me as a dummy! We've tried giving her a dummy to see if that would help her sleep but she won't take one. Hoping someone can help, from one tired mummy!

lananzack Sun 20-Nov-16 01:04:57

White noise was my god send when DD was a young baby and wouldn't sleep. It apparently doesn't work for every baby but you could attempt it (white noise vids on YouTube or SleepySounds app).
Good luck. I can sympathise sad

SpeakNoWords Sun 20-Nov-16 01:13:59

How old is she?

I know you said you don't want to co-sleep, but planned safe co-sleeping is better than accidental co-sleeping because you're exhausted.

Do you have a co-sleeper cot? I've got one that we use with a sleepyhead insert. I often warm the sleepyhead with a hot water bottle, cover my DS with his blanket whilst I'm feeding him. Then when he falls asleep I transfer him to the sleepyhead wrapped in the blanket. This usually means I can put him down. I use white noise as well.

Carta60 Sun 20-Nov-16 05:35:22

^^ what speaknowords said. We have co sleep cot and sleepyhead insert. And white noise. Good luck x

lseldon Sun 20-Nov-16 14:22:51

Thank you so much everyone for your tips! She is about four and a half months, I have a chicco next to me cribb (is that what you mean by co-sleep cot?) I will give these tips a go, I'll let you know how I get on. x

FATEdestiny Sun 20-Nov-16 14:53:06

are there any other things that work?

Swaddle. Right around the arms.

Persevere with the dummy. It will be worth it. Dummies. Are. Amazing.

Sidecar cot (3sided cot) - cuddle right in the extract yourself once sleep.

FATEdestiny Sun 20-Nov-16 14:55:40

Co sleeper cot
Sidecar cot
3-sided cot
Bedside cot

These are all the same thing. It means a full sized cot with one side removed (easy to do with an allen key) and wedged up to your bed.

Much more space to cuddle into than a bedside crib. Far more useful.

lseldon Sun 20-Nov-16 20:12:18

Thank you so much everyone for your tips! She's about four and a half months, we have a chicco next to me crib, is that what you mean by co-sleep cot? I will give these tips a try and let you know how I get on. x

firsttimemum15 Sun 20-Nov-16 20:15:15

Yes what you have is a cosleep cot. We had one

I just got my 10mo a sleepy head i think its been good for us.

I agree with what no words said. Its hard. But youll get there.

lseldon Sun 20-Nov-16 20:21:32

Ignore last message sorry! Thought I needed to send it again as couldn't see it on here or any later posts untill I reposted! I'm a bit scared to try the dummy again because I expressed for the first time so my husband could give her a bottle she took to it straight away so thought she was ok with teats so decided to try the dummy but since trying dummies she won't take a bottle, wondering if she thinks the bottle is a dummy! I want to keep trying her with a bottle tho because I want to do combination feeding at 6 months. x

lseldon Sun 20-Nov-16 20:26:03

I looked online for the sleepy head and the only ones I could find were over £100 which I don't mind spending if I know it will work but it's a lot to spend if it doesn't, up to what age/weight group do they last?

firsttimemum15 Sun 20-Nov-16 21:05:50

I had to get 8-36 mo 165 quid. I was thw same kept coming back to it though. Blankets etc wouldnt work for us and not advised anyway.

Obvioisly only do it if its right for you but i felt it was for us. I am not telling yoy to do it just saying what i did if it helps. X

firsttimemum15 Sun 20-Nov-16 21:06:22

Theres a smaller size. My baby was a cot avoider until i caved

FATEdestiny Sun 20-Nov-16 21:45:29

Usually dummy and bottle teats are either both accepted or both have to be worked on.

Dummies. Are. Amazing.

Worth their weight in gold and definitely worth persevering with if you aim for independent sleeping.

SpeakNoWords Sun 20-Nov-16 23:05:56

The sleepyhead is completely washable so it's the sort of thing I might buy second hand, from eBay or similar. You can get similar but cheaper ones as well.

firsttimemum15 Mon 21-Nov-16 07:28:58

With a cheaper version id be worried about safety.

Not every bany needs or wants or will accept a dummy.

lseldon Mon 21-Nov-16 07:50:22

Can you breastfeed them in the sleepyhead and then move them straight to the crib or would feeding her whilst she's in it be awkward? I ask this because I think its when she goes from my warm body to the cold mattress that's what's waking her up! Another thing I've been told is that she should be falling to sleep by herself and not on me but I've only ever known her to fall to sleep on her own once! (other than when she's in the car)

lseldon Mon 21-Nov-16 07:55:47

FATEdestiny I do feel like she's using me as a dummy quite a lot on the night! I've been told some babies only like a certain brand so I've tried quite a few, but she didn't like any of the ones I bought, any brand you'd recommend?

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Mon 21-Nov-16 08:01:41

Dd2 had a sleepy head, got it when she was maybe 5 months? just went straight for the bigger one as she wasn't a little baby- it was worth its weight in gold! I put it inside her cot and it made her feel like she was being held so slept really well.

Expecting DC3 anytime and will be using it again for them smile

FATEdestiny Mon 21-Nov-16 11:48:12

I've tried quite a few [dummies] but she didn't like any of the ones I bought, any brand you'd recommend?

How old is baby? It might be that refusal is due to her age.

Personally I swear by cherry shaped soothers. There's only one type of dummy in the Tommie Tippie range that is a cherry teat, all the others are orthopaedic. But other people swear by MAN dummies.

Even so, it took a large amount of daily effort for about 5 weeks (trying several times every single day) before my youngest "got" that sucking the dummy have comfort.

Shes my fourth child though. I knew the long term value in that effort, in terms of independent sleeping. All my other 3 took to a dummy straight away. It did need holding in for them at first, but wasn't refused. I would have carried on with DC4 until she accepted the dummy, however long that took. It took 5 weeks of trying every sleep time every day, I'd have carried on trying for a lot longer if I had to though.

If you want a baby who sleeps independantly without any distress or crying, dummy is the way to go.

Dummies are ace.

lseldon Mon 21-Nov-16 17:57:55

FATEdestiny, she is about four and a half months so could it be her age as to why she's refusing the dummy? How did you find it when the time came to weaning them off their dummies?

firsttimemum15 Mon 21-Nov-16 18:30:15

Why would you work so hard to give a baby a dummy who has no need for one though. Personally, i wouldnt.

firsttimemum15 Mon 21-Nov-16 18:31:56

Its hard to breastfeed in sleepyhead

I settled my baby on floor or in oir bed and can lie on it and feed but i wouldnt say you could do it. You sound like i was

I used to.put snuglbundl vehund when feeding and teansfer her that way

I second what another poster said sleephead mimics the feeling of veing held i think

If you have a wriggly baby its probably no good..mine is a still sleeper.

FATEdestiny Mon 21-Nov-16 19:55:41

so could it be her age

It could be when she was newborn, with the physical smallness of her mouth and jaw muscles. There are lots of reasons though, it might not be this.

My youngest was anti anything that wasn't a nipple. She was EBF and was refusing dummy and also bottles of expressed milk. I just persevered. As soon as one was sorted so was the other, so they must have been linked.

How did you find it when the time came to weaning them off their dummies?

No hassle at all. I do have realistic expectations though. I know children need comfort in order to sleep right through until school age. So I was in no stressful rush about it.

I went with free dummy use for the first 6 months - when mostly life is about sleeping anyway. From 6-12m reduced use to just sleep times. By 12m the only dummy we have is attached by ribbon to the sleeping bag. So the only place she has the dummy is in the cot when sleeping.

By 2y she uses the dummy for 10 mins or after going to bed, to drop off to sleep, and that's it. So 20 mins at most per day (bedtime and naptime) is not harmful to her teeth, but continues to give adequate comfort to sleep independently and alone.

Aged around 3-4 I've offered a special present for when child can do a week without the dummy. Made it the child's decision to stop, not mine. When child ready to earn the present, dummy goes. No stress. No tears. No hassle.

Mine is a whole different ball game to the type of parent that gives their toddler a dummy all the time. No one ever sees my daughter with a dummy and havent since she was 1.

lseldon Mon 21-Nov-16 21:33:31

Thank you FATEdestiny for taking the time to give me this advice, I really appreciate it! I'll let you know how I get on. x

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