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3 month old won't go to sleep at night

(10 Posts)
Faye2016 Thu 17-Nov-16 08:13:04

Hi ,

I'm a first time mum looking for some advice about my 3 month old.

At the moment it takes about 3 hours to get her to go to sleep at night. I used to feed her to sleep and go to bed with her- we cosleep. But recently she won't feed to sleep. So now we do bath, feed and rock to sleep, but often the minute I put her down (even if I hold her until she is fully asleep) she wakes up- even if I lie next to her and cuddle her. Then I offer her another feed (I breastfeed) to see if that will send her off- often she gets super sleepy nearly asleep but then wakes all of a sudden. So we have to repeat the whole process again rocking her. Sometimes we have to resort to taking her for a walk in the carrier as it's the only sure thing to work, once she is properly asleep we gently get her out, she does often wake but will go back to sleep with a little milk. But this obviously can't be a long term solution.

We try to get up at a similar time each day around seven and she naps around 3-4 hours each day- sometimes I rock her, sometimes she falls asleep after a feed and sometimes out in the carrier. She has never been very good at sleeping on her own and although I do try to put her down for naps she always wakes (we tried hot water bottles my tshirts etc). Then we aim for bedtime between 7 and 8- we try to avoid naps after 5.

I am feeling very lost as to how this will improve and wold appreciate any one who has any advice

So many people say this is common to me but I feel like other mums can pop their babies in their crib for bedtime and they go to sleep. I really worry that I've done things wrong.


FATEdestiny Thu 17-Nov-16 19:09:00

2 hours awake time (before bed) is far too long for a 3 month old to be awake. So over tiredness won't be helping.

I would expect 30-45 minutes awake time between one nap and the next. 1h at the most. 20-40m naps are usual.

More sleep = better sleep.

If you are trying to stop baby sleeping before bedtime, it'll only result in poorer quality sleep.

Have you tried a dummy?

TimeForCakeAgain Thu 17-Nov-16 19:14:15

Could you try a later bedtime and gradually bring it forward? At 3 months my DD was often going down more like 9pm. Even if you let her nap on you in the evening if she is sleepy. Means you can't go to bed earlier but sounds like you aren't managing to now anyway and at least you will be less frustrated.

icecreamcones Thu 17-Nov-16 19:19:09

I have no advice but I feel for you. It takes hours to settle my DS to sleep and he's awake again before midnight. He then wakes between 3/4 times during he night and is awake from 4am EVERYDAY (he's 7months now).

AGBforever Thu 17-Nov-16 23:55:44

What really helped me at this stage was the 'sleepy sheepie' - it plays soothing music for 20 mins or so allowing you to gently withdraw. there is a fluffy giraffe toy that does the same thing.They are like magic!

CaminanteNoHayCamino Fri 18-Nov-16 00:36:20

You haven't done anything wrong. All babies are different and what works or is right for one isn't for another. Sometimes it takes having another child to fully appreciate that but that's not an option yet! What is she like if you just out her straight down after feeding without rocking at all? Does she cry or just not sleep? I'd agree with the pp who said don't try to manage her sleeping patterns particularly later in the day just yet. She's still tiny at three months. If there are two of you can you take it in turns for r the evenings at the moment so one of you gets a break for a bit. Good luck and if you can, try and remember that this will pass faster than you can possibly imagine now when you are in the thick of it. Enjoy her while she's small.

WowAnActualBaby Fri 18-Nov-16 12:24:59


I'm a 1st time mum of a 3mo breastfed baby too :-)

We are having a total nightmare with daytime naps (managing one 2 hour nap and then maybe one 30min nap in the day at the moment max) but his bedtime routine and night sleeping has settled and (touch wood, fingers crossed) we seem to be able to to bath to sleep in cot within an hour by 7:30 every evening. However we were going through what you describe during the night up until a few weeks ago so I know the feeling! I'm no expert by any means but this is what I'm doing, if any of it helps you:

7pm feed is a bottle of expressed breast milk. He is taking between 4-7oz and this gets him to a super sleepy state. I'm then able to put him down very drowsy but awake into his cot and he immediately falls asleep.

I've been sleeping him on his side since about 8 weeks as he would not settle at all on his back. He was propped up with rolled towels but he is too strong for that now. He now falls asleep on his side and then ends up either on his back or his tummy. (I know this is against SIDS advice and this is very much a personal choice - I'm using an under mattress breathing/movement sensor as an extra precaution). Side sleeping really helped as I found that on his back once his eyes opened he immediately saw me and was then wide awake. To settle him on his side I hold his hands up to his mouth and pat his bottom or just hold him very firmly and shushhhh at him, occasionally I pop a dummy in if needed. I'm guessing that if his eyes open and he just sees the side of the cot rather than staring straight up at my face it's less stimulating for him and helps to keep him sleepy.

I'm using a sleeping bag at night. During the bedtime or nighttime feeds (if I've had to take him out of it) I pop him into the sleeping bag after I have winded him towards the end of the feed. He then finishes the feed in the sleeping bag and warms it up ready to be put back down in the cot already snuggled up.

I've been reading these forums for about a year now but this is the first time I have posted because I really do identify with your situation! Hopefully if it's not already getting better for you then it will do soon.


Hellmouth Fri 18-Nov-16 12:29:32

Then we aim for bedtime between 7 and 8- we try to avoid naps after 5

I think that's part of your problem, she's overtired.

My son is 4 months old and I never let him go longer than 2 hours without a nap. Most babies of this age can only stay awake for one and a half - 2 hours. After an hour and a half, i look for signs of tiredness and then put him in his cot straight away. It seems to be working for me as he has regular naps and sleeps mostly through the night.

I also recommend sleeping bags if you're not using them, as he seems to love them. He starts smiling as soon as I put it on.

All the best of luck!

amchugh17 Sat 02-Sep-17 06:30:37


I'm having trouble with my 3 month old. The last few nights whenever I put her down to sleep at night after about 20 minutes she starts kicking, wriggling a lot, fussing and just won't sleep. I have to pick her up and either feed her again to settle her until she falls asleep on me or she just automatically falls asleep on my chest. I then put her down again and the same thing happens all over again. I do this 4 or 5 times a night where I get to the point I give in and end up letting her sleep on my chest as it seems to be the only way she will have consistent sleep without waking. Also her bedtime seems to be around 11pm where as I'm reading a lot of babies going down between 7pm and 9pm. I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I hope someone can help

crazycatlady5 Sat 02-Sep-17 08:03:32

At 3 months my little one just dozed on me downstairs until bedtime. Not ideal for some people but I couldn't put her down so she slept on me or my husband downstairs until we went to bed and at that point she'd be in such a deep sleep we'd put her down. At 7 months I can not feed her to sleep upstairs and leave her for a bit so it's not forever x

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