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I need help. Not coping with the lack of sleep anymore.

(6 Posts)
Troika Sun 17-Jul-16 09:50:13

20 week old dd2 wakes every hour through the night and has done since 14 weeks. Previously she would only wake once or twice between 9 and 6. She was 10 days late so assuming 4 month regression.

I know it could be worse, my second used to wake every 20-45 minutes and scream for two hours before finally dropping off for another 20 mins. God knows how I survived that because dd2 hourly wakings are killing me and she goes straight back to sleep!

Our 'routine' (totally baby led and not rigid but pretty similar most days)
5.30/6 nappy change and feed. Sleep next to me until 7.30/8. Wake up. More milk if wanted. Get dressed. School run.
Sometimes has a short nap in car on school run(45min total run) but usually stays awake 'chatting'.

9 am get home, she plays on mat or sits in swing watching me while I do a couple of jobs. Then I play with her until around 10 when she wants more milk.

10/11 naps. Usually only for 20 mins, ocasionally slightly longer in my arms or if out in pram. Never more than an hour.

Feeds when wakes up. More playing.

1/1.30 wants another nap. Usually only another short one.

Feeds again on waking.

2.45 school run. Falls asleep at some point on way there. Usually sleeps the whole time until we get home at 4.

4 feeds then plays
5 feeds sometimes falls asleep.
6 feeds. Gets very grumpy. Sometimes falls asleep.
6.30/7 get ready for bed. Feed. Into cot with mobile on. Falls asleep.

Sometimes sleeps for 2/3 hours at this point. Sometimes hourly waking starts straight away.

In the night I give dummy and put hand on tummy as first option. Usually settles.
If not I cuddle then put back down when calm
If still not settled I feed.
Some nights she wants to feed every 3 or 4 hours. Other night she wants to feed every 2.

She's happy during the day so although sometimes goes 3 hours between naps which is longer than recommended it's led by her and I'm not sure if it is a problem. Trying to get her to nap after 2 can lead to lots of crying.

She doesn't feed to sleep (other then in middle of night).

Umm what else is relevant?

2nds Sun 17-Jul-16 09:55:09

I'm. Just wondering if dream feeding is an option?
I think I'd try feeding first when she wakes up

Troika Sun 17-Jul-16 10:33:03

I'm just worried that then I'll be feeding every hour instead! Seems like it might be a step back when she settles instantly without me having to pick her up iyswim. It could be worth a try to see if she then goes longer though.

When would you introduce the dream feed?

Troika Mon 18-Jul-16 19:59:56

Anyone else have any ideas? Dreading another night of no sleep.

I'd happily try a dream feed but not sure when as she's awake every hour anyway? So if anyone can clarify that it'd be great smile

HappyInL0nd0n Mon 18-Jul-16 20:31:53

Hmmm, just a suggestion, but two morning naps at 5 months (even if she often doesn't take the first) seems like a lot to me. Also, sleeping after 5pm if you want her to be tired enough to sleep through could create an issue. I know you're following the baby-led approach (great, everyone should do what feels right for their family), but just for your awareness, (the dreaded?) Gina Ford recommends no more than 3 hours of sleep for a baby over 12 weeks between 7am and 7pm as you aim to differentiate between night and day and ensure the baby is tired enough at night). If you added up how much your little girl sleeps during the day, how long is it on average?

Anyway, I'd suggest you play around with it. Maybe try waking her up at 7, offering her a nap at 9 or 9.30 and see if she'd then go until lunchtime before sleeping again? Another day, you could try keeping her up after 4.30 until its time for bed.

Good luck. And flowers. Sleep deprivation is no fun. xxx

Troika Mon 18-Jul-16 21:24:44

Thanks happy
Daytime sleep is usually 2 hours ish. Definitely never more than 3.

I should have said that the rare ocasions she does fall asleep on the morning school run she doesn't nap again at 1030/11.

Tbh I'm not worried about her sleeping through, she's still tiny (both in age at 4.5 months and in size at 12lb something) but I do need the hourly wake ups to stop.

You'd think I'd have cracked it by now but each one of my children has been completely different!

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