What causes constant waking?

[Fomalhaut]

I understand about babies' sleep cycles and waking after each cycle, so my question isn't really about that. I want to know why babies can't even sleep that long.

When I finally get my son to sleep (which takes hours) he will wake up ten minutes later. Twenty if I'm lucky. He occasionally sleeps for an hour which I presume is a full cycle but mainly it's 20 mins or so. Day and night.

I'm shattered. Help.

[OnlyEatsToast]

How old is he?

[OnlyEatsToast]

So, I will assume that DS is still teeny, but I didn't want this to go unanswered. Firstly, a big sloppy hug as it's incredibly tough when you have a non-sleeping baby. Unfortunately there is no magic answer or solutions - but here are some things to consider:

• Baby is hungry - solution, feed! (maybe worth checking for any TT or other issues). Unfortunately no evidence to show that bf vs ff (or 'hungry baby ff) will help them sleep better. remember their stomachs are tiny. BM is processed in 90 mins - I think this is why my DS woke every hour and a half for a feed!!
  *Baby is cold/needs cuddles - try swaddling, sleeping in sling (during the day), co-sleeping at night. When my DS was teeny he just wanted to be next to me.
  *Baby can't settle themselves - applies more to older babies, try sleep training but only if you feel baby is old enough (IMO over 6 months)
  *Baby is woken by environment - light/noise etc
  
  You could also try things like Ewan the sheep/white noise etc
  
  Try looking at the baby sleep site website - this was the info that saved me. Ultimately remember that it's perfectly normal for babies to sleep through the night, or to wake repeatedly - so your baby is 'normal' and unfortunately this is just a really tough phase BUT IT WILL PASS!

[Fomalhaut]

He's nine months.
We've tried everything, even the dreaded controlled crying. Nothing has produced any improvement at all.

[OnlyEatsToast]

I remember feeling the same and being absolutely broken when DS was 10months and still up every hour and a half. Try speaking to your HV? I found the baby sleep site to be great - really easy to understand and sensible info. There was lots of free info on it but I paid about £100 for some kind of subscription in utter desperation and eventually did CIO which TRANSFORMED his sleep (which i never thought possible). I don't think he or I was ready for it before then though. He would still wake for a feed, and be up early (and still is...3 yrs on...) but as he'd then learnt to self settle we started to get hours of sleep before wakes rather than just 1.5hrs.

[OnlyEatsToast]

www.babysleepsite.com

[Fomalhaut]

Yes I've seen the baby sleep site - lots of good info.
HV equivalent is reasonably useless but did refer us to the specialist baby psych/sleep service - they didn't really have any advice that we hadn't seen elsewhere and tried already. CIO is the one thing I wouldn't do (cc was bad enough and made him worse, I think a lot of it is separation anxiety.)
He doesn't want to go to sleep, won't stay asleep and wakes about 3am daily. It's exhausting. What am I doing wrong??