Sleep issues 14 month old

[CazY777]

Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions for how to improve my 14 month old's sleep patterns.

I still bf her to sleep, which I know I should've changed by now but I just haven't had the energy for sleep training since I've been back at work, so we've just carried on. Her sleep patterns are haywire, this is what happened this week:

Mon: toddler group, slept in pram on way back from 1-2ish, went to sleep 7.45, woke up 10ish, then 1, 2, 3, 4, 6am then I woke her up at 8.
Tues: I was at work in the morning so she napped 1-3pm, had to wake her up, wouldn't go to sleep until 9.30pm, woke every 3 hours, woke up with dhs alarm 6.30am
Weds: Was at home so took her up for nap 12.30-2.30, had to wake her up again, wouldn't go to sleep till 9pm, woke every 2-3hrs, then up at 8ish
Thurs: 2 hrs at play cafe, slept in pram on way back 12-1ish, spent afternoon with DH while I was at work, went to sleep at 7.45pm, awake at 10ish, wide awake at 1am for over an hour, then woke every 2 hours, up at 8ish
Fri: at home, tried to get her to nap 11.30, she had 45mins and woke up, dh took her out in the car in the afternoon so she had another 45mins, sleep at 7.45pm, awake at 10ish, again at 1ish, I'd turned the night light off and tried not to interact with her so she went back to sleep after about 20mins, then awake every 2 hrs, up at 7ish
Today: she refused to nap at all by feeding, dh took her out in the car, she slept for about 15 mins, and went to sleep 7.45pm

I know I need a better routine for her (I'm leaving work at the end if this month so will have the time) and to do more activities with her to wear her out, but it just seems like if she naps as much as is recommended that she doesn't sleep at night, and doesn't nap if she sleeps at night. Any suggestions would be welcome as to how to improve her routine, and references to any gentle sleep training methods that have worked for you so she sleeps for longer stretches would be appreciated. Sorry if I am being really dense about this but my sleep deprived brain just doesn't work

[SleepForTheWeak]

Hi Caz, we stopped feeding to sleep by moving the bedtime feed before bath time and DH did bedtime routine for first few nights (which he had never done). DD was not happy at all to begin with, but DH just stayed with her while she cried and let out her frustrations. But by the third night I think she was asleep within 5 minutes and we did gradual retreat to get out the room (took a week or two). DD was about 11 months at the time, and getting her into a good nap pattern also helped her at night too.

DD is now nearly 15 months and generally is on one nap a day, about 12.30 - 2. If she's had a bad night or very early morning we let her have a 20minute power nap in the morning too.

[CazY777]

Thanks SleepFor, that's helpful. I think my Dh will need to do the same, as if I'm there she will want to feed to sleep. Did she still wake up in the night, and if so what did you do then?
Had an awful night, she didn't go to sleep until 10pm and then woke up screaming an hour or so later, but I think she has a couple of teeth coming through.

[SleepForTheWeak]

Yes she still woke every 1.5-2 hours during the night. I always bf her back to sleep when she woke, so we basically tackled one feed at a time. DH would go into her and stay until she fell asleep (which could be 90mins and a lot of crying). We would let her adjust to dropping that feed then a couple days later do the same with the next, and so on.

One of the key things is to stay calm, pick up if you really have to, but try and settle in the cot. Put in the cot sitting, rather than lying so that she can learn how to settle herself from a more upright position (helps when they wake during the night).

I hope things get better for you. DD is getting teeth through just now too and is more unsettled during the night than normal, they'll hopefully emerge soon!!

[Comebacksleep]

Just sending positive vibes - our sleep situation is awful. Would love to keep on breastfeeding, but similar pattern of waking up ALL the time is wearing me out. Will see what advice you're getting xx

[CazY777]

Thanks for the advice and positive vibes. I think staying calm in the early hours of the morning is one of my problems, though hopefully I will get a bit more patience once I don't have to get up for work.

Last night was awful, she woke up every hour crying, despite having had nurofen. Tonight she didn't go down till 9pm and has already woken once but has gone back to sleep with a bit of face stroking and reassurance. I should go to sleep now really, it's probably going to be another long night!

[PeaceLoveAndMincePies]

Agree with all the advice above, and also suggest bringing bed time forward to 6-7pm. This is my 13mo's bedtime routine, which we moved from 7-8pm at 9mo:
4:30-5: tea
5:30-6: milk downstairs
6-6:30: bath and brush teeth (important to do this after last milk feed). Into pyjamas, read two stories, kiss and cuddle and into bed awake. Bedtime routine lasts 30 mins maximum and is as quiet and calm as I can manage. It's tough telling DH not to tickle and wind DS up since they haven't seen each other all day, but I'd rather have my child-free evening, and they can mess around in the mornings.
Remember that consistency is key.

[FATEdestiny]

From reading your opening post, I don't believe your DD is getting anywhere near enough sleep so half your issues may be over-tiredness (and the other half your issues will be tied into feeding to sleep).

Good sleep promoted better sleep. An over-tired baby is very difficult to get to sleep compared to a just-started-feeling-tired baby. So the over-tired baby cant get to sleep, has less sleep and the whole process is self-perpetuating.

A single 2 hour daytime nap might be OK for some 14 month olds if they are not waking in the night so getting a 12 hour chunk of sleep. My nearly 16 month old has either one 3 (ish) hour nap or two naps of 1.5h and 2h. She has 12 hours solid sleep at night.

Your DD is coping on very broken nights sleep and also limited daytime sleep. Would she have more or longer daytime naps?

(I'm leaving work at the end if this month so will have the time)

I would do nothing for now, just survive. When you have finished work and have more time and energy, give her sleep habits some significant thought and attention.

I would work at setting her to sleep in the cot. It will help in all ways (bedtime, night wake ups, nap time and daytime nap lengths)

[CazY777]

Thanks everyone, we are definitely just surviving at the moment and once I finish work I will give her sleep a lot of attention. Last night was awful again, and she's been so tired today (normally she is very happy and jolly despite broken sleep but it has been particularly bad the last few night). She napped from 10ish to 1pm, and she went down in her cot about 15 mins ago (I was mindful of what you mentioned above FateDestiny about over tiredness so took her up early). I'm hoping for a better night (I hope that every night!).

One thing I will find difficult though is getting her to nap in the cot all the time. If we go out to a group or swimming she always falls asleep on the way back in the car or pram, and its impossible to transfer her because if she wakes up (even if she's only had 5 mins) she then won't go back to sleep until much later, and then won't sleep at her normal bedtime.