Sleepy baby - 5 weeks old

[Teddysmum]

Hi there - I'm a new (neurotic), first-time mum with a lovely baby boy. I have as few issues that I'd love some feedback on, including sleep:

Teddy likes to sleep. Some day's he'll sleep for up to three hours at a time. I wake him for his feeds (formula), and like today, he gets sleepy whilst taking it, and within 10 minutes of his finishing it, he's yawning, and then within another 5 minutes grizzling and overtired. I then take him upstairs, and put him down in his cot and he's off sleeping again! For example today, I woke him at 10am for his 10:30am feed, he squawked for his food pretty much straight away, and then was back in bed out for the count by 10:45am! He's not due to eat until about 2pm now, and I feel like I shouldn't leave him to sleep for all that time... it's hard to know what to do for the best. He's not always like it. For example we had a busy day yesterday out and about, and he slept far less, but got overtired and I spent from 4:30pm until 7:30pm trying to settle him, whilst following our routine. I think he's making up for it today!

Teddy eats (4-5oz/time) at 07:00, 10:00-10:30, 14:00-14:30 and 18:00-18:30 with a dream feed at 10:30. He then goes through until about 05:00 at which point he thinks it's daytime and wakes us all up!

Is this sleepiness normal?
Should I just leave him to it?
How on earth do you keep a baby awake that just isn't interested?

Finally, Teddy is blinking noisy. He snorts, grunts, groans, strains (windy boy) all through the night. It gets progressivly noisier in the early hours from about 2pm at 10 minute intervals, and culminates in him starting to "cough" and grizzle for food any time between 4am and 5:30am. When do you intervene and feed him? Do you leave him until he actually starts to cry for food? When he starts the coughing, snorting, about to cry noises in and he's fought his way out of his swaddle (usually), squirmed all over the cot and is squirming around. Do I feed him then or wait? When I do feed him then he usually wakes up and WILL NOT go back down as it's so close to morning...

This is a long, rambling, and probably neurotic post from a person so used to being in control and things working as she planned!! Your help/advice/experience wqould be fantastic!!

[madness]

no advise from me i'm afraid. Just repying because i'm doing a lot just the opposite and think it's just interesting how we all deal with things differently.
My 3rd dc is now nearly 7 weeks old and seems to sleep a lot more than the other 2 did. But I would never ever wake her up for a feed (would rather just enjoy the peace as long as possible). I can not give you any timings of feeds because they are so erratic.In the night, as soon as she stirs I tend to wake up and I "plug" her in (bf). During the day, whenever she cries I will see if she wants to feed.

An older friend of my gave me some good advise; don't listen to other peoples' advise, just do what you feel right in doing.

BTW dd2 also grunts a lot!
Got to go now.

[Twiglett]

1. Stop waking him up .. feed him when he wakes up .. if he's gone 6 hours then wake him up and feed him ..
   
   he'll start to have more wakeful times over the next few weeks
   
   and babies ARE noisy

[Twiglett]

congratulations by the way

might not feel it but in a few months you'll look back and wonder why you put so much pressure on yourself

babies are amazing things ... let them lead you and try to listen to your maternal instinct .. its there even if its been hidden by modern life ..

[Teddysmum]

Thanks for the replies. It's hard to know what to do. I've been so driven by "the books" and friends, and people at the post-natal groups, and the HV... it's all so confusing. I hate waking him up aswell, but I keep being told that if I don't he won't get the food he needs... (interestingly see my other post where the HV has just tole me he's getting too big too fast, and to cut out a feed!!!). I just feel like I can't win. I also feel like I'm not the kind of person that can just "go with the flow" and be baby-lead. I wish I was, but I'm not! So long as there are people out there that tell me that babies are just sleepy sometimes, and that it's normal, and that if he sleeps for long periods in the day it may not necessarily affect his nightime sleep, then I'll be happy (happier, anyway). Off for a bit of self-beating-up now!!

[Twiglett]

Teddysmum

I have 2 children a 5.5 year old and a 2.3 year old

I NEVER woke either of them up as babies

They both slept away their first weeks (they'd just come out of the womb .. of course they're sleepy)

I fed them when they grizzled / cried

They are both excellent eaters and excellent sleepers

I think HVs are stupid in general .. they are certainly in the main out of date with their advice and finding a good one is like the proverbial needle in a haystack

And people at post-natal groups are in exactly the same position as you .. they're all first-time mums ... some will sound super-confident and sure of themselves .. but everyone just muddles through as best they can

do what makes you comfortable ..

[juliem72]

Hi i have a three month old baby who has always loved his sleep, he would wake up, feed and then go straight back to sleep. As he has got older he is awake a bit more but no more than an hour or two at a time. He is my fourth and up to now has been the most contented. My advice to you is enjoy it they are growing while they are asleep, its better to sleep to mush than not to sleep at all

[JoeD90]

My problem is exactly like yours Teddysmum except Joe doesn't go through to 5am only 2.30am which is frustrating. I will take the advice from above too. Joe does a lot of noises before waking fully with loud cough noises (hunger). I am considering moving him to other room with monitor (although he is only 5 weeks) so I can get more sleep during these grunts!!What do you think?

[mrsdavros]

Just to add my twopenneth - apologies to all HV's out there, but the most confusing, put-me-off-my-step, plain WRONG advice came from the HV who also told me my boy was growing too fast (he'd been growing too slow 2 weeks before, can you imagine??) Also, from my mother-in-law, sorry mother-in-law, but she let hers cry to sleep and go hungry in the night and expects me to do the same, not what I'm doing. I would say feed them when they wake up (after a long sleep), don't wake them up just to feed and offer it when they cry. I was thrilled when mine slept for 4 - 5 hours in the day as I crept around getting jobs done (should have slept, I know)! It IS normal when they're little and won't affect his nighttime sleep, as he will work out his own sleep pattern anyway.

[mrsdavros]

Also, you say you're not the kind of person that can go with the flow, but going with all the books, friends, HV's etc do seem to have understandably led to some confusion! I didn't read any books (I tried but I got too confused just standing in Waterstones looking at them ) You don't have to drop all structure if you prefer this but I'm sure if you listen to yourself and your baby you will find you know best too.

[MHMum]

Hi Teddy's Mum,

I just came onto the internet to look up 'sleepy baby' and your message about Teddy could have been written about my baby.

He's 5 weeks old and though generally content, he does sleep a lot. He sounds just like Teddy!

The health visitor asked if he is more awake and when I said not really, she said he behaves like a premature baby. I am happy that he's very well and he started smiling last week, so I don't think his development is suffering. However, the HV's comment plus some from other parents, do make you wonder!

Just knowing other people are in the same position gives me the confidence to enjoy my baby and the quiet times he gives (in between crying because he's overtired!)

[Maria2007]

HI Teddy's mum

My boy is 12 weeks old; I'm also a first time (and slightly neurotic!!) mum... Just wanted to say that I'm a bit jealous that your boy is sleeping so well I would be so lucky if my boy slept that easily & for such long stretches. So enjoy it while it lasts, is my advice. As long as he's putting on weight well, I really wouldn't wake him for feeds if I were you. There's really no need, except if he goes for extremely long stretches of sleep (e.g. 6 hours). The other thing you mentioned, about the noise he makes in his sleep, is normal: a few weeks down the line he'll be making a bit less noise, our baby has already changed considerably in this.

Hope this helps a bit.
By the way, congratulations on your little boy!
Maria

[Sawyer64]

Don't remember exactly when my DC's stayed awake for longer periods but 5 weeks seems a little early.

Make the most of the fact that they need so much sleep.Before long they will stay awake between feeds,just as you get used to it,and start planning to do things whilst they sleep!

At least for the first 2-3 mths IIRC,it seems that all you do is feed,change them and put them down for naps.Which is why alot of DP/DH's feel "left out" or don't seem very interested.You also feel very drained as you don't seem to get much "back" from this eating/sleeping/sh*ing machine!!!

Before long though this all changes and you get a smile,or a giggle and it all seems worthwhile.....

[ches]

At this age they sleep about 16-18 hours a day and should feed 8-12 times a day. They don't even start to tell night from day until about 6 weeks, so it's perfectly normal to have a long block of sleep during the day and for them to slowly shift that block around to the night time as they get older.

[MHMum]

Several weeks on, I just wanted to add another message in case anyone else has similar concerns. My little boy continued to be really sleepy until about 11 weeks.

He could only stay awake for about 1.5 hours in the day and by the end of that time he was screaming because he was so tired. He had a heart murmur too, so the HV and doctors were getting worried. He was sleeping OK at night, so no-one really knew what was going on.

The heart murmur was found to be innocent, but the concerns over his sleepiness remained.

At around 11 weeks he started to show sings of being a bit more wakeful and then suddenly, 12 weeks to the day since he was born, he had just 3 half hour naps in the day and is now going from strength to strength.

Developmentally he is bang on track, so no worries there.

So if you have a sleepy baby, try not to worry. They'll wake up in their own good time I'm sure!

[MrsMattie]

MY DD is 4 weeks old and sleeps pretty much all the time (waking like clockwork every 3 hours, day and night, for a big feed...and then going straight back to sleep).

Enjoy it! My first child was awake all the time and was a really loud, crying baby. This is bliss in comparison.

[ninjinglebells]

DD2 was soooo sleepy at 5 weeks, now 11 weeks and still only awake for 45 - 60 mins before she's tired again.

BE THANKFUL my first wasn't a sleeper and I'd prefer it this way round!

Noisy is normal, get earplugs!

Have you tried feeding Teddy earlier when he grunts etc, he might go bck to sleep and give you more rest?

[beckaroozy]

another crazy first time mum here with a v sleepy baby.sooo confusing,mid wives and health visitors give you so much conflicting advice i just dont know what to do.my daughter hannah is just over 5wks.i breast fed to start but she lost weight so i was told to "top her up" with formula which she prefered so is now all formula.i have been told to feed her every 3 to 4 hours and not to let her go anymore than 6.easier said than done! we got sent to the hospital because of her weight loss and i tried in vain to tell docs and m/wives that we just cant wake her sometimes and they simply did not beleive me and said i should try harder! they then tried and failed hah!! anyhow she is now a better weight and eats lots at feeds but im still anxious about weather i am doing the right thing as i hate to wake her every 4 hrs,it seems so unfair on her. but on the other hand i do like the structure!!does this sound ok to you? we have been waking her for feeds at 7am,11am,3pm,7pm,11pm and then let her sleep again until 7am. its also a bit worrying that she has 6oz every feed the formula packets recommend 4oz 6 times a day. aaah help!

[AngelDog]

Babies do quieten down with time - by 3 months you could hardly hear DS breathing, whereas in the early days it would keep me awake. I'd definitey agree with the earplugs suggestion.

[RollerMummy]

I would say, talk to other people, but trust your own instincts above all else. I listened to hvs, mws, friends, family and people online before I did what came naturally and paid the price with my first baby. Second time I was not going to listen to all the advice from "experts" and we had a much better time of bonding and feeding.
If your baby is hungry, feed her, if she's sleeping, enjoy it- it'll all change anyway, and you're not making a "rod for your back" or doing anything wrong by just responding to her. We don't eat on a routine, so babies don't need to either- do whatever you feel is right and don't let others convince you otherwise. I formula fed my son and breastfeed my daughter, and it doesn't matter- children are different whatever they're fed- just go with it.
If you want to learn some gentle soothing techniques and about normal infant sleep you could try BabyCalm newborn classes- I did ToddlerCalm and it was brilliant- wish BC was around for my two!