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help! dd (5.5 months) sleep so terrible I feel completely broken

(14 Posts)
TiredFeet Fri 02-May-14 05:19:14

Dd used to be a good sleeper but it went downhill when she got chicken pox, and then I got so tired I gave in and started co sleeping and now its just a complete mess! I am so totally broken after a few weeks of rarely getting more than an hour at a time (and that's the horrible light sleep because she's next to me/attached to theboob). I ask dh to settle her sometimes in a bid to get her in her cot but it rarely works. Sometimes now in desperation we're resorting to pram walks/car drives in the middle of the night.
I can't go on, I'm utterly broken, I feel like I have no brain left and I keep having thoughts of wanting to die/just walk out because I am so tired. We have a 3 year old to look after as well. I try to go to bed early but its not always possible with jobs to do etc. Don't know what to do and can't think straight!

nervy555 Fri 02-May-14 07:35:20

I too have a bad sleeper but can't imagine how hardbit must be with a toddler too. I feel constantly on the edge amd am never quite sure how I manage.

I'm not an expert and really don't know what to say apart from what helps me which is using the sure start children's centres? Do you do that? You will definitely find someone with good advice and it might even feel like a break.

Also I can't sleep in the day but I do feel better if I have a lie down while ds naps. Could you try that for a tiny bit of respite. Apparently it gets better. You haven't done anything wrong and you sound like a brilliant mum to me.

Visit the doctors too. Feel better soon.

QuietNinjaTardis Fri 02-May-14 07:44:42

I'm right there with you. Dd has bad eczema, a cough which will not go and wakes several times a night either scratching or coughing. She's on the bed next to me so I can attempt to settle her or stop her scratching but its bloody hard. I'm so tired all the time it's ridiculous and I have a 4 year old as well. No point settling her in crib cos the second she starts scratching she will start to wake and I won't get there quick enough but on the bed next to me I'm awake a heck of a lot more than she is trying to stop her waking. I have no advice just a <squeeze> as I feel your pain.

TiredFeet Fri 02-May-14 09:25:41

Yeah that's partly her problem, she rubs her little face where she has eczema, so if she is in bed I can hold her hands

I feel so desperate for sleep, proper sleep, but not sure what the dr can do?

Our sure start centre was hopeless when I went with ds, made me feel like a complete anomaly for breastfeeding (and he was under 3 months at the time!)

TiredFeet Fri 02-May-14 09:27:47

My son doesn't nap in the day any more, but I have been sleeping when she sleeps on the mornings he's at preschool. It helps, but its the need for a long (eg say, 3 hours +) sleep that I really feel.
We have no family near by (well, dsis but she has a newborn!) And dh is shattered too from trying to help me settle her

TiredFeet Fri 02-May-14 09:29:33

Sorry, that all sounds so whingy, I don't mean to, I just so badly need her to sleep better but I don't have any brain power left to work out how!

nervy555 Fri 02-May-14 13:28:41

Don't apologise. We all know how you feel. You will get 3/4 hours sleep soon- it will just be a phase. I had one night of 7 hours and then got mastitis from the gap in feeding him. Lol.

Sorry to hear the sure start centre wasn't helpful. How about ringing to see if they have a breastfeeding group?
I just wondered whether speaking to a professional might help you feel more focussed. I don't know- you shouldn't keep how low you are feeling to yourself though.

My doctor prescribed piriton for ds excema- I think it does settle him a bit better for the first part of the night at least.

Helenc19 Fri 02-May-14 22:00:16

Hi, I know how you feel, my ds went through a stage of hourly waking and scratching at his eczema. Thankfully he doesnt wake too much now, his eczema is much better but he still scratches at it a bit when trying to go to sleep.
How old is you DD? I think you should work on improving her eczema first.
is there anything which you think might be causing it? Can you try different creams for it?
things that helped my DS were using bortled water to wash his face as our tap water is quite hard, getting him to drink water with food, cutting out dairy. Also he has a bit of silent reflux which isnt enough to make him cry in pain but I think that may have been causing him to wake lots, could tgat be an issue with her?

TiredFeet Sat 03-May-14 14:43:58

Thanks helenc and nervy you are probably right, if we can get her eczema settled that might be the key. I have already made a gp appointment to review her creams so hopefull we can find something that works.
I am on a dairy free diet already as that does seem to help her eczema, but it is still flaring a lot and I am not sure why, contemplating cutting out soya too.
I might ask the gp for some piriton, at the moment I am so tired I can't even think well enough to manage her eczema properly.
I told dh I was so tired I wanted to die last night (and I meant it! Its torture!) So he gave me a lie in this morning but its still only a 2 hour strech, my brain is hurting so badly for a longer stretch

Helenc19 Sat 03-May-14 22:14:09

Thats good you got a lie in, make sure you get more of them it will help loads over time. I know what you mean about desperatly wanting a longer stretch of sleep though, hang in there it come.
cutting out soya is a good idea it does make things a bit harder with meals but that could be the key so well worth a try.
aveeno cream was the one that really helped my ds, they also do a bath oil.
Apparently amber necklaces like the teething ones can help with eczema so that might be something which could also help and if you think theres anything other than the eczema thats affecting her sleep then cranislsacral therapy might be helpful

queenofthepirates Sat 03-May-14 22:32:23

The Good Sleep Guide by Angela Henderson, can't recommend it highly enough and can as a suggestion from my lovely HV.

CookieTramp Sun 04-May-14 05:10:30

Hi OP. I sit here at 3am and I feel the same as you. Never more than 45 mins at a time at night (sometimes 20 minutes) and DS2 is 5mo.

Broken. Handling him roughly tonight and gave up and got up and got up at 3am rather than face the continual hope of sleep followed by crushing disappointment. It has only been better than this for about 3 weeks, the rest of the time it has been a bucket of shit.

I don't know if I have any advice but you are not alone. It is torture. I feel brain damaged. I hope it gets better for you soon. If your DD was once a good sleeper there is hope she will work her way back to that?

mumofmunchkin Sun 04-May-14 05:47:54

For eczema have you tried changing your washing powder? We switched to washing all of ds's clothes in ecover and his cleared up - my sister has bad eczema and ecover is the only washing powder she can use that doesn't cause a flare up.

TiredFeet Sun 04-May-14 19:05:59

We already use ecover mumof but its a good suggestion

Will try aveeno I think helenc, have heard it recommended before

Totally feel for you cookietramp is there anyway you dh/dp can give you a break. I totally know what you mean about feeling brain damaged, makes it hard to even think of solutions

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