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Controlled crying help please!

(11 Posts)
Cattyd82 Wed 22-Jan-14 20:50:12

Hi everyone, I am hoping someone can help me. My son is six months old and has always been a terrible sleeper. At bedtime he would only settle and fall asleep when nursing and as he got older this process of trying to get him to sleep took about 3 hours in the evening meaning I never got an evening or saw my husband. In the night I feed him and he falls partly asleep and I put him into his cot where he settles himself. During the day he only falls asleep in his pram. We started doing our own version of controlled crying at bedtime only about 3 weeks ago (going in at 2,5,7 min and so on intervals). He fell asleep within the hour (not without putting up a struggle). He gets a lot of wind so we have had to sit him up in his cot to burp. Despite doing this for a few weeks it doesn't seem to be getting any better. He still takes about an hour to settle and even more if he is too worked up. This week I thought I would try the Ferber timings and increase the time everyday because I felt us going in every short interval was re-stimulating. So far we have managed 40 mins but since then it's been 1 hour (and on one occasion we stopped it because he was hysterical). I know we aren't doing the strict version of CC and that it should take longer to work (according to our HV) however, hearing him cry like this with no progress is horrible but we don't feel like we have any options left (I have tried baby whisperer and other techniques).

Has anyone else had any experience of doing CC this way and if so how long did it take to work.

I understand that CC is not everyone's cup of tea and that there are differing opinions out there but I would appreciate constructive help

Thanks in advance Cx

oadcb Wed 22-Jan-14 21:00:03

I'd say pick him up and give him a cuddle.

Look at the no cry sleep solution. Less stressful to all, he's only a baby.

Happydaze77 Wed 22-Jan-14 21:00:08

Have you tried staying in the room with, but not feeding, holding or interacting with him at all?

I used to have to feed dd to sleep but it stopped working so well at around 5 months. I wasn't keen to try cc or cio as she usually wound herself up to being hysterical if we tried to leave her. So I fed her in bed and then lay next to her until she went to sleep. I was as still and boring as possible and only picked her up if she got very upset. It took a few weeks but eventually we got to the point where I could feed her and put her straight in her cot. I never thought that day would come.

Cbell Thu 23-Jan-14 02:20:20

We tried various sleep training at 6 months with my DD and she just wasn't ready. By the time she was 9 months we had much more success with the same methods.

I know the advice us that at 6 mo babies can self sooth/ go without food in the night but a infants developmental rate varies and your little one may just need more time.

I know how frustrating and powerless one can feel. We try and manage our sleep rather than our baby's at the moment (DS 6mo). My DH shares night wakings and this allows me to get a chunk of sleep and not go creaking insane with sleep deprecation. Could you do similar?

Lollypop1983 Thu 23-Jan-14 02:55:16

Our LO would not have been ready for sleep training at 6 mo. It came to a point on Saturday that we had to do something different. He's now 9mo.

We're trying gradual retreat. Fed, put to bed awake. Sat with him, not picking up unless really distressed. Patting & shushing when crying, not touching when he is calm. First night took 40 mins, next night 10. Tonight took less than a min of crying, before he rolled over to get comfy. I don't leave til he's fast asleep. He know I'm there. Hopefully this will work.

Lollypop1983 Thu 23-Jan-14 02:56:29

He's also slept through every night except 1. But I'm in such a routine, my body still wakes me at quarter to 3! Typical!

Lollypop1983 Thu 23-Jan-14 03:04:52

I found this thread really useful.

AmIGoingMad Thu 23-Jan-14 03:59:25

This sounds so similar to dd 6 months. She will very rarely go down in cot in the evening and that's only if she's already asleep. If we try to put her in awake all hell breaks loose. She's then awake and upset every 15-30 mins. She'll finally stay sleeping around 3 hours after going to bed but then wake anytime between 11 and 1 and won't go back to sleep unless she comes into our bed.
In the day she'll nap in pram if we're out possibly, she'll fall asleep in car seat or will sleep in my arms. None of these naps longer than 20-30 mins.
Sorry- slight rant and no advice. Just wanted to say- I feel your pain!

jaggythistle Thu 23-Jan-14 05:03:47

He's only wee and he needs you. You'll 'get your evenings back' eventually, this is only a tiny but of your child's life.

Can you honestly say you're happier listening to up to an hour of crying rather than nursing/cuddling if that's what he needs?

When mine went through hard to settle phases I just took them to the living room with DH and I and put them to bed once settled. Then I could quite happily watch TV and even have a glass of wine with DH

jaggythistle Thu 23-Jan-14 05:05:38

Sorry posted too soon.

It just sounds like you're making hard work for yourself and getting DS in a state and not ending up any happier. sad

Maybe try to relax a bit and see if the phase passes?

No cry sleep solution does have some ideas to try and help.

ArtemisTheHunter Fri 24-Jan-14 21:12:53

amigoingmad you have just described my DD! She is a fortnight shy of 6 months. We've been co sleeping but in the last few weeks she wakes and cries even when I put her on the mattress next to me. At night she wants to sleep on me or DP or not at all.

I don't have any answers but I do think 6 months is young for cc type solutions as they just don't have the mental capacity to understand what's going on. Our nights vary but we tend to do as jaggy describes if she's not settling and take her downstairs with us. We have had very minimal success with NCSS ideas but will try again in a month or two and maybe when she's older we'll try the gradual retreat that Lolly's link describes, but not yet.

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