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4mo- where to start?! So exhausted

(10 Posts)
okthen Tue 26-Mar-13 07:27:15

Have posted before, but now need a concrete plan and would love some input.

Dc2 is 4, nearly 5 months old. After promising beginnings (self-settling, long stretches at night) his sleep went tits up weeks ago and has got worse.

In the day he has three naps of around 1hr/2hr/1hr. He has these in pram and self-settles. Often needs rocking back off in the middle of the 2hr nap tho. He is a delight in the day as long as he gets a lot of sleep and isn't awake for too long (90 mins ish). Have never tried him in crib for naps since he left the sleepy newborn phase.

At night he sleeps in a crib next to our bed. Bath at 6.30 with dc1 then feed in dark, until sleepy or asleep. Down at 7/7.30.

He was self settling to sleep if not asleep already- this has stopped. As has him sleeping Ll evening. He now wakes very frequently all evening. Will settle with hand on tummy/cuddle to a point, but I usually feed him twice more during eve.

Then he is up every hour or so. Again will settle some of the time with hand on tummy/cuddle. But ultimately will only settle properly for night when in bed with me, feeding on/off through night.
This really doesn't suit me even though I do get more sleep. I want to stop co sleeping.

Health visitor advised starting solids as he is a big boyhis weight has plateaud. Not really sure how to go about this in the best way.

So my plan is to put him in his own room when he is 5mo and do pick up put down or some other method that doesn't involve cc.

I don't mind keeping some night feeds at this age. But not sure which ones to cut out first (at mo he feeds at say 9pm, 11.30pm, 1.30am, 4am but I think he 'snacks' while co sleeping) and how to best get him settling himself in cot.

Please help am desperate!

Weissbier Tue 26-Mar-13 17:59:12

Is this the 4 month sleep regression?

We never noticed this with DD because even before she always woke every couple of hours brew but I was too tired to think of anything creative. So I just kept going with the sleeping style I hoped she'd adopt one day (in cot etc) and did shifts with DH. Can you share the load with your partner? We found it easier just to do that and chalk it up to 'nobody knows' because there didn't seem to be an obvious reason (when she was older we had some stuff that did have an obvious reason, like screaming when we left the room, so we did do something about that). But the general small baby waking all the time got better of its own accord.

As you say he is a bit young for sleep training so if you can do it with shifts so you feel human that's what I'd do for the time being.

I didn't limit the night feeds at that age but if you think he is hungry maybe some baby rice in milk at supper time might help? And then you could cut down the evening feeds?

okthen Tue 26-Mar-13 19:25:34

Thanks for replying. It is really good to get some perspective. yes I think dp will have to pitch in more. He works ft and cycles 25 miles/day so I've not wanted him to be too tired for safety reasons. But if he did 'early' shift eg up til 10.30pm that would work. I'm hardly lying around eating bonbons all day, with a baby and 3yo to look after, and also need to have my wits about me!

Have started giving baby rice to ds in tiny amounts. Each time he's seemed to have tummy ache afterwards... But it cd be coincidence, or not tummy ache. Tbh I can't see the wood for the trees, am clutching at straws all over the place. Even considered cranial osteopathy in the wee small hours this morning! Despite the fact that he is v happy and settled during day....

Oh, when will it pass?!

Loislane78 Tue 26-Mar-13 20:36:06

Sounds a lot like 4 month sleep regression sad

IMO (and that's all it is) your HV has given v poor advice re. weaning. Baby rice has practically no substance/calories so won't 'fill him up', he needs more milk if weight has plateau'd and it also depends how long that's been going on for. If anything banana or avocado would be better. As you've noticed, weaning can also make sleep worse so I would wait it out if I were you. My DD 7 mo old was a sleeping dream until sleep regression.

My advice - you're doing great with naps so do a bit of light day-time training to get him used to cot by putting him in there. Bedtime routine also good so keep doing that and just wait a couple of weeks. Our hourly wakings stopped after a couple of weeks although taken longer to get back to where we were pre-4 months. Up milk/offer more but hold of solids for a few more weeks. Tag team with partner as much as possible. Dummy? Is he cold?

It does pass smile

okthen Tue 26-Mar-13 21:07:14

Thanks for advice. Tbf the health visitor suggested avocado/banana not specifically baby rice. But yes am unsure whether starting so young is best for him.

Have not tried a dummy- friends who have given dummies have all ended up regretting it. But am close to it!

And yes I think he is cold. He wears a sleep sack and has a blanket but his hands/arms/head are more exposed obv. I'd be chilly if it were me.

Good idea to try him in cot for naps. I've been scared to as his naps have been so great in pram. Also have 3yo dd which makes concentrating on naps tricky. But there is always Auntie CBeebies if necessary....

Weissbier Tue 26-Mar-13 22:00:44

Well if he gets tummy ache then not baby rice, like Lois says! I your instinct is he's too young I'm sure that's right.

We're not in the UK - dummies are a peculiarly British obsession, I don't think they're a big deal. No 18-year-olds walking around with dummies, after all. Can you give him a cardigan over the sleep sack?

I spent the first two months of pfb's life having her suck on my finger because I was so desperate for her not to have a dummy. That gave me dermatitis on my finger, so she had to have a dummy after all. DD has given up dummy now except at night, but my finger is STILL not better, it's spread all over my hand and I'm on my fourth cream from dermatologist in an attempt to shift it! It's really annoying but you do have to laugh...

Awakeagain Wed 27-Mar-13 04:32:40

A friend of mine was advised to wean early as her ds was little and rubbish sleeper! Not sure how fruit purées are meant to help with weight gain when it's what we eat to be healthy/ not gain weight!
My ds has always been a good sleeper, he had had his moments like when he thought the day started at 5.15, he does appear to be having a huge regression from sleeping through or waking at 5.30 (after sleeping from 7.30) a feed and then back to sleep
Do what you can and I'm sure it will pass as quickly as it started! Dh/dp's don't know how easy they have it, tag team for a few nights at least then at least you can catch up on a bit of sleep

wannabeEostregoddess Wed 27-Mar-13 05:08:55

DD2 is 19weeks so 5months. Shes not as bad but our nights go something like

Between 7.30-8.30 she will have bottle and go up to her cot to sleep. She wakes again at 1. Takes 1/2 bottle to get back over (so IMO not hungry just needs comfort, but she refuses any kind of dummy) then sleeps until 3-4am. Takes 2nd half of bottle, back to sleep until 7.30am. Wakes and has a little chat to herself but doesnt ask for a bottle until 8.30am.

I think shes cold. And if I could get her to take the full bottle at 1am she would go through. But its impossible.

I think your DS is cold, he co sleeps because its warm and he then feeds because its there. Honestly, try a dummy. Its really not the worst thing. IMO baby rice is the worst thing you could do and the HV has went against guidelines with that advice. Wait until 6 months to wean.

Most of all, its so frustrating, but hes still so young. It will pass. He is definately too young for sleep training, as is my DD2 although I despair every night and wish there was something I could do! But all I can do is ride it out!

ellangirl Wed 27-Mar-13 06:28:18

I have recently tried pick up put down with my now 22 week old dd (she was 19 weeks) and it's gone ok. To begin with I didn't try with naps- kept these as they were in car seat or sling as she's always been a terrible napper. The first night it took 1.5 hours to get her to sleep hmm but quickly improved and after a couple of days she was self settling quite happily at bedtime. She still wakes frequently at night, but not as much. I try not to feed if it's been less than 3 hours but it doesn't always work.
Recently she had been self settling for some naps too in cot, and has had some long naps too which is some kind of miracle.
There is lots if info about pupd on web here is first part with link to pupd method. I feed my dd in our bed while reading bedtime stories to my 3yo ds, then move to dd's room to put her down so I am not feeding to sleep.
My dd has always been a terrible sleeper- sometimes waking 8 times a night but this method has def helped us see there could be light at end of the tunnel!

ellangirl Wed 27-Mar-13 06:33:06

Oh, and agree re bad advice about weaning. I was given same advice but ignored it because I don't think my dd 's wakings were always hunger related anyway, it is a sleep issue.
What temp is it when he's sleeping and what clothes is he wearing?

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