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Dam you Health Visitor!!

(21 Posts)
2llfrancis Sat 05-Jan-13 10:21:19

Hi my son is 11weeks today and I thought He was doing a great job at night, he goes to bed in his own room at 7pm and generally stays asleep until my partner dream feeds him at midnight and then wakes at 5pm for a feed (3/4oz) and will go back down til 6.30-8am. I went to the HV yesterday to get him weighed and she asked me about his day time sleeps, I was honest and said that he sleeps when he wants presumably when he is tired.... In his car seat, the car, when we are out and about in the front carry thing or in his bouncy chair. She said he should be having proper napsin his cot - tried this and he hates it and gets really angry hence why I gave up and then she said for his age and weight he should be able to sleep from midnight to 7am most nights! I thought 5hrs was quite good???? Any thoughts please?

cansu Sat 05-Jan-13 10:25:36

She is talking crap. Smile and nod and stop taking him to be weighed unless you have any concerns about him. He sounds like he is in a very good routine. Fwiw I never had set nap times for a baby! They sleep when they want to and that's that! I would also have loved for dc to sleep like your is at eleven weeks. Seriously she sounds demented!

gimmegimmegimme Sat 05-Jan-13 10:27:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoldPlatedNineDoors Sat 05-Jan-13 10:28:50

Shes talking crap. You only need something with the daytime sleeps when they are affecting his night time sleep and it certainly doesnt sound like they are.

ticklemyboobsofsteel Sat 05-Jan-13 10:29:26

He sounds like he is doing really well. I'd ignore the HV if it were me. Do whatever works - that's the advice I wish I'd taken earlier on smile

There are insane expectations on babies sleep these days. Each baby is different with different needs and so a blanket statement that they should all sleep midnight-7 based on age and weight is unhelpful to the extreme, in my opinion.

You're both doing great. Enjoy your little 11 week old sleeper! smile But don't fret if it all goes wonky for a while in a few weeks - baby sleep tends to change a lot over time and 4 months is a prime time for this.

mummywithnosleep Sat 05-Jan-13 10:29:45

She is talking garbage!

DD slept when she was tired in the car, in her pram, on our bed, any where in fact, 5 hours over night is great at that age.

Ignor the HV on this occassion!

omama Sat 05-Jan-13 10:34:16

Ignore her he's doing great!

At that age my ds still had 2 night feeds, this dropped to 1 at 5am at about 3-4 months & we finally dropped that once he was fully established on solids.

As for the naps, truth is at young age they much prefer snuggling with mummy or motion of carseat or pushchair to the cot so they will cry if you try putting them in the cot. If its not what you want to do right now dont do it! You may find as he gets older that he wont nap so well on the go or you may want to reclaim some 'you' time & that is the time to switch to the cot. Hth.x

PacificDogwood Sat 05-Jan-13 10:35:21

Total garbage.

Why oh why do people in authority spout such nonsense??
Does she have children, actual RL own children?

Each baby is different, I've had a happy cot sleeper, a will-only-sleep-on-someones-chest sleeper, a will-only-sleep-in-moving-vehicle-sleeper and one who mixed all of the above.
One slept through (as in 7 til 7) at 16 weeks, another took to 2 years.

You just keep going and do what works for you and your baby.

Fairylea Sat 05-Jan-13 10:35:55

Ignore ignore ignore.

I haven't seen the hv since ds was 6 weeks old.

Their constant interference when dd was born was enough to put me off for life !

Katla Sat 05-Jan-13 10:37:02

Just ignore her - smile and nod.

My DD is 12weeks and we have same daytime activities as you do - tried putting her down for naps but we had a week of screaming so gave up - sometimes if we are in house I can put her down for half an hour but there is no routine to it. Otherwise she sleeps in pram when out for a walk or in the carseat or on a baby nest cushion thing on the sofa.

I hope one day to have more consistent naps but it wasn't working for this time. I think sleep training is like potty training - appropriate at a certain time.

Also, if you are dream feeding at midnight not sure what else HV suggested you could do to get to 7am? Tell your baby he shouldn't be hungry?!! I'm sure things will work out in it's own time.

swallowedAfly Sat 05-Jan-13 11:08:10

absolutely ignore - he's doing fantastically! you've got things going great so don't rock the boat.

2llfrancis Sat 05-Jan-13 12:12:32

Thank you all so much, its nice to know I am in the real world like the rest of you & that I'm heading in the right direction at a good happy pace!! Before having my ds I had friends in tears over the HV visits and use to say ignore them but its very unsettling how they can make you question your own ability and confidence!! I will smile and nod and say yes in the right places when I next get him weighed!! Thank you all again.

Mitsouko Sat 05-Jan-13 13:27:20

Absolute rubbish! Ignore and be grateful you have such a great sleeper. My 9 month old has only just started doing the odd night like this and more often than not wakes every 2-3 hours. She wasn't ready to nap in her cot until 8 months either. My HV has been telling me to let her cry in the night since day one. It's rubbish.

KatAndKit Sat 05-Jan-13 16:53:49

I agree with the others - the HV is talking crap. My LO is nearly 9 months and still has 2 night feeds. Totally normal for a baby to need to feed in the night. Expecting an 11 week old to sleep through is insane. I would avoid seeing this health visitor again as her advice on a load of things is likely to be bollocks. 5 hours is actually the medical definition of sleeping through the night for a baby so going by that you are doing bloody brilliant. It's all a matter of luck mostly anyway. If your baby is healthy you don't need to keep getting him weighed - once every few months will do fine.

Fairylea Sat 05-Jan-13 18:41:31

Also you don't need to have them weighed.

I haven't weighed ds for months! He's healthy, happy and eats like a trooper so that's all I need to know. So I never set foot in hv territory !

If I had an issue I would get in touch with them or my GP.

RudolphsNoseInMyXmasStocking Sat 05-Jan-13 18:44:08

Smile. Nod. Ignore. HTH grin

notengodinero Sat 05-Jan-13 18:45:25

Why do they spout such crap and make people feel bad?! Ds2 is nearly 15m, and doesn't sleep from 12-7 yet. He's just started napping in his cot, prob because of nursery and their routine there. I'm assuming he is MASSIVE compared to your ds, ignore ignore ignore, you're doing brilliantly smile

Icelollycraving Mon 07-Jan-13 07:09:05

Nonsense (as others have said). I'd like ds to sleep that well,he's 18 months & been in a cot from v little.

Jergens Wed 09-Jan-13 15:43:21

She's talking total garbage! Reiterate what Pacific Dogwood said

sparklekitty Wed 09-Jan-13 16:27:54

Jeeze, mine is 15 weeks and I'd LOVE her to sleep that long! She's still doing 2/3 hours all night and all day! Shes on 75th centile for her weight too so weight can't have anything to do with it. Oh and if I can get her to nap 3 times a day (about 45 mins) with one of those in her moses basket we're having a fantastic day!

Sounds like you're doing a great job, if you're not then I'm a proper s**t mum smile

breatheslowly Wed 09-Jan-13 21:42:22

Ignore. Being tied to the house because of naps in a cot would be a pain anyway.

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