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sleep training - leaving him to fall asleep alone (2yrs)

(22 Posts)
VeryProbablyStupid Sun 11-Nov-12 18:49:59

DS is 2.4, he has not slept through since he was 5 months, bar a few odd nights. He doesnt nap, goes to bed at about 6pm, has a bottle and a story, then I sit there and read a book while he falls asleep, which takes about 4 minutes. He wakes up throughout the evening until I go to bed and take him in with me.

My problem is - I dont want him waking in the evening and interrupting my alone time and I dont want him in my bed any more!

I have just had a sleep specialist come over and she told me he wakes in the night because I sit beside him as he falls asleep. So she has told me to do the supernanny thing where I kiss him goodnight then leave, then just put him back into bed with no eye contact/talking and leave til he falls asleep. Then do this all night whenever he wakes.

Im fine with this, but Im just wanting to know other peoples experience I guess. How long will it take (I know all kids are different but is it gonna be a week or a year??) and does it work on all children?

Please share your experiences smile

goodname Sun 11-Nov-12 21:43:13

Sorry I dont know if it works, ds1 who is 2.5 is exactly the same, please let me know how you get on. I also have ds2 who is 6 months and am starting earlier with him!

GoldPlatedNineDoors Sun 11-Nov-12 21:48:09

I have just tackled 11mos sleep as she woke numerous times. We left her to cry it out and she took five minutes to go back over herself. Three days in and she was sleeping through. Now, after ten days she goes down at 6.30 and wakes at 7am.

It is a habit he is in and as long as you choose a technique and stick with it, he will pick it up. Its hard....but worth it.

VeryProbablyStupid Wed 14-Nov-12 19:28:13

I have just started tonight. I had to put him back to bed 68 times! But he is sleeping now. Will defo stick to it and update how it goes x

bangersmashandbeans Wed 14-Nov-12 19:34:58

It worked pretty quickly for my DD. It started when we put her in a proper bed when she turned two. Went through months of messing around and lying down with her till she fell asleep or screaming at her till we were both in tears sad
Had a little chat with myself and bought supernanny's book and it really does work. Yes she got up a lot, yes we had tears but when we finally stopped putting her back to bed with more cuddles/sleepovers/back tickles/stories and just firmly plonked her back in, tucked her in and simply said 'goodnight I love you' (more than supernanny suggests but could never tuck her in without saying that!) she got bored pretty quickly and went to sleep and stayed there. Changing time and length of daytime nap also made a huge difference - 45 mins max and never after 1.30pm.
You need your evenings back - I know how soul destroying it is to lose them! Good luck!

VeryProbablyStupid Wed 14-Nov-12 20:12:39

How long did it take for your dd bangers? I'm so excited for this to work I can't imagine just putting him to bed and not seeing him til morning!

bangersmashandbeans Wed 14-Nov-12 20:21:27

It's hard to remember because we messed around for about 3 months not being strict with it so I reckon it gradually got better over the space of a couple of weeks? Cracking the nap thing really helped too (OP I wonder if your DC would nap for half hour-ish before lunch so might go to bed closer to 7 and be tired enough to stay asleep?)

bangersmashandbeans Wed 14-Nov-12 20:22:04

Sorry being dim just realised you are the OP!

BabydollsMum Wed 14-Nov-12 21:11:12

We're going through this at the moment. (Literally - DP is up there supernannying as I type. It's been over an hour. sad ) Our real problem is just not having the friggin' heart to do it in the middle of the night and more often than not DD's in with us tossing and turning and threatening to roll off the bed all night. It's got so bad I've actually started hallucinating and getting heart palpitations from lack of sleep. Would love to hear some more positive supernannying success stories because at the moment it all feels so futile.

bangersmashandbeans Wed 14-Nov-12 21:16:12

The middle of the night one is tough as the temptation to just bring them into bed is unbelievable, and most times we gave in. The only thing I can think that might have changed it was that I became a very light sleeper and I now hear her the second she stirs so I dash in and stroke her head for a couple of seconds before she actually wakes up properly.

Lawabidingmama Wed 14-Nov-12 23:25:29

Success (ish) story here..... DD1 has always been a fairly good sleeper mostly 7-7 occasional wake ups or periods of interrupted sleep I would occasionally bring her into my bed them DD2 arrived and DH got the role of settling her in the night which meant he would bleary eyed stumble through to her room at the slightest murmer and bring into bed with him (he was in the spare room whilst DD2 was having all night feedathons). When we moved DD1 into her toddler she would get out and climb in herself this progressively got earlier from 4am to 11pm! I told DH it wasn't good for DD and she was getting in the habit of waking which was interrupting her sleep but he was too soft lazy to resolve it.

Day time naps were also a nightmare she would take ages to settle wanting me to lie down with her or I'd have to drive around till she was asleep. She also needed one of us to sit next to her bed at night while she fell asleep. Basically her sleep went hey wire!!

As DD2 had not long arrived we were very sensitive to her needs and just went with the flow. She was 2 when DD2 arrived btw.

Then DH went on night shift omg I thought how on earth am I going to do this constant feeding settling them both etc etc! DD1 was 2.5 and DD2 5 mo.

I started with daytime nap put her in bed at requisite time and told her it was nap time mammy needs to go tidy up DD1 have a nice sleep she accepted this straight away much to my shock!

Night time was more tricky it took several nights if her getting up us putting her back before she accepted it.

The first night DH went on night shift was awful DD2 crying me trying to settle her DD1 getting up but really within 30 mins they were both asleep and DD1 had gone to sleep on her own. She was then up several times through the night I just kept puttin mg her back 1st night I was up for hours with her 2 nd night better by night 3 she was going to bed fine and sleeping through!

She has just had a period of night waking coming through into our room she's 2.8 we just perservered with putting her back its exhausting some times but she's now sleeping through again. So worth it.

I would say I always make sure she doesn't need a drink or wee etc first and I always tuck her in and giver her a kiss saying its bo bos time now go to sleep

Long post! But basically it does work but there is no magic answer I guess!!

Lawabidingmama Wed 14-Nov-12 23:28:01

Oh and I think the key is them falling asleep alone so they don't expect you to be there when they wake and therefore come looking for you!

HipHopOpotomus Wed 14-Nov-12 23:31:08

I did supernanny way with dd at about the same age. It took 3 nights then viola!!
Slight hiccups once a week for a while, but we cracked it.
You can do it!

VeryProbablyStupid Thu 15-Nov-12 07:23:58

Yay smile

Well, the first night was a resounding success! I put him down at about six. Naturally he was outraged when I left the room. I put him back to bed 68 times (yes I kept count!) and then he fell asleep at five to seven. He slept through without a peep til 5.30am, when it only took 25 mins and about 5 times of putting him back to bed until he went quiet for ten minutes, then I got him up at about ten past six when he cried again.

Im so shocked, I dont know if it was a fluke but thats the first time in well over a year that I had an evening to myself and a bed to myself!!

Im so happy, roll on tonight!!

I didnt find it so bad with the crying, because he wasnt super upset, he kept stopping crying to demand things like a bottle/cuddle/kiss/tissue, so I knew he wasnt that upset. I also stopped his bottle last night, I figured if he is going to be crying anyway I might as well do it all at once.

But, yay, Ill let you all know how tonight goes!

HipHopOpotomus Thu 15-Nov-12 08:56:28

Brilliant! It really does work.

BabydollsMum Thu 15-Nov-12 12:49:15

Well done Very! I have to report DD had the best night she's had in a long while. Poor DP supernannied for AN HOUR AND A HALF. I said he deserved a medal. He had a beer! Anyway, she woke once at 1.30am looking for me, wouldn't settle, ended up tossing and turning with us but after about 40 mins was more than happy for Daddy to put her back into her bed. Didn't hear any pitter patter of feet until 8.03! grin

VeryProbablyStupid Thu 15-Nov-12 18:19:54

Just put him down for night two, only took seven minutes and six put back to beds! I'm in shock!

bangersmashandbeans Thu 15-Nov-12 22:35:16

So glad it's going well! smile

HipHopOpotomus Fri 16-Nov-12 09:28:03

Supernanny often gets slagged off, but her bedtime routine seriously is the dogs bollocks!!!

Good luck for tonight - the magical third night - and try & keep up the routine over the weekend if you can!! Oh & enjoy your precious and wonderful evenings again smile

VeryProbablyStupid Fri 16-Nov-12 09:46:49

Thanks guys smile

He woke up seven times in the night but went back to sleep straight away when I put him back to bed. Bit of a mixed result but will defo keep going.

Who slags off supernanny? She is lovely and strict!

Ragwort Fri 16-Nov-12 09:53:20

Well done, I think the key is to stick to the routine and be strict firm - my dearest friend just isn't tough enough and still has her DDs waking and going into her room at ages 9 and 7 - every single night shock. Funnily enough the only time they slept through was the one and only time she left them overnight with family.

I was strict from day one when we bought my DS home from hospital & never, ever had any sleep problems with my DS but I know your'e not meant to admit to that on mumsnet grin

HipHopOpotomus Fri 16-Nov-12 09:57:46

I've seen lots of SN slagging off on here - she is not to everyone's taste, but worked well for us.

I don't mind of the DD's get in with us in the night - what I want are EVENINGS to myself and a calm sensible easy bedtime routine. DP tries to vary it from time to time & it all then goes pear shaped (at which point I just leave him to deal with it). "My" way works a treat - why mess with it?

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