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Night weaning tonight - I'm dreading this - any tips?!

11 replies

jc50000 · 21/09/2012 13:25

My nearly14month old DD has always been a frequent 'snacker' on the boob during the night - every couple of hours or so. She starts the night in her cot next to our bed, then inevitably ends up in with us for co-sleeping/nursing. I would probably let this naturally continue, (although would obviously love unbroken sleep!) but sooner or later, I will need to spend the odd night away with work. I don't want to inflict a sudden nighttime absence on DD or DP, so my HV has suggested going cold turkey with her - no bf during the night. We are thinking of starting tonight - but I am dreading the trauma that it will cause. I would describe myself as a kind of attachment-style in parenting, and have been dabbling with the 'no-cry sleep solution', but without much success so far. I would love to hear if cold-turkey has worked with anyone else, or if there is a slightly more gentle version I could try......

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megandraper · 21/09/2012 13:30

just marking place. need to do this with 15 month old DD. Waiting for her to be well, she's been ill with one thing or another for weeks.

I did it with DSs by giving up BF altogether, but would like to avoid that this time.

I might have to wait till half term as I think she'll cry a lot, and wake up her brothers

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SarryB · 21/09/2012 13:31

I've just done cold-turkey with my 5 month old. The first couple of nights were hard, so I had a plain bottle of water in case he was actually thirsty. He drank 1oz of water the first night, and nothing the second night. I didn't let him breastfeed between 11pm (last feed) and 6.30am. He now takes way more at his 'breakfast' feed, which has also resulted in him taking more at one feed, rather than snacking all day too.

Of course, he is still waking up - stopping the night-feedings was the first part of our sleep training. But is now mostly happy with a cuddle or a dummy.

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megandraper · 21/09/2012 13:31

p.s .I also have to spend a night away in Nov. Although, if that ends up being the 'cold turkey' night, I suppose that might start the process. Am being a bit head-in-sand at moment.

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jobnockey · 21/09/2012 13:47

I?m sure my DS was about 14 m when I nightweaned him? What I can remember was that it was nowhere near as bad as I feared it would be. IIRC it only took about 2 or 3 nights of him being upset until he stopped waking for feeds. I think we would offer him a cup of water instead of boob and he soon realised that he wasn?t going to get what he wanted. He was never that upset either? I was there comforting him so it was angry crying rather than distressed. we were co-sleeping still at that point (although he always went to bed in his own cot ? just ended up with us) I?m sure we got a spell of uninterrupted sleep for a while after doing it! (although he always seems to end up in our bed still now, hes 3.8). I remember reading an article about it on here which someone recommend? Dr Jay Gordon I think ? google it (don?t know how to do linky things, sorry, which was really helpful? I continued to BF until he was about 20m so its not like he was being denied completely ? just had to get used to not getting back to sleep by BFing? I was/am astill an attachmenty type parent and found this was still quite a 'gentle' method really...
Good luck ? I bet its not as bad as you think it will be!

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jobnockey · 21/09/2012 13:48

ps - i used to not turn on any lights or talk to him... just ssshhhed him, stroked his back and repeated 'booby all gone' until he eventually calmed down after each waking...

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JeewizzJen · 21/09/2012 19:34

I've not actually managed it yet, as DS has been ill, but we started off with DP doing all the resettling between 11 and 5ish. DS (15mo) was actually responding pretty well to it, largely resettling within a few minutes. Until he got ill... so we'll probably be starting all over again soon!

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Tertius · 21/09/2012 20:38

Do you want to keep feeding during the day? I only ask because both my children have given up night feeds without crying around the time that I stopped day feeds too. Before they were one though. They slept through shortly after. With each child it was different but it wasn't planned and just realised they were happy without the milk. A bottle of water with a slow teat helped my daughter about a month ago. She woke for that for about a month and then stopped.

Good good luck.

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sheeplikessleep · 21/09/2012 20:42

Did night weaning with DS2 at 10 months old.
I did it gradually, with each night gradually moving back my 'limit' as to the time I couldn't feed him before.
DH did it all though tbh. He went in and cuddled DS2 when he woke, patted his back and shushed. DS2 cried, it took about 3 nights as I remember. The first night was by far the worst though.
After a few nights, he slept uninterrupted through until 5am (different story, that took 2 years to move to 6am!).

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jc50000 · 21/09/2012 21:38

Thank-you all for your advice - and for the Dr Jay Gordon reference, jobnockey. I'm definitely feeling less terrified now, and will report back on how we get on. Having read the J.gordon article, I've decided to try that - so now 3 nights of boobing/putting down awake and then 3 nights of no boobing between 11 and 6. and so on..... Fingers crossed DP and I can stay alert and determined enough to do it! And fingers crossed we don't end up with 5am mornings - erk! Tertius, that sounds like a good logical solution! I would like to keep up day-time feeding for now if possible. I think I'll keep a bottle of water handy so we can at least offer something when the going gets tough.

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megandraper · 26/09/2012 13:27

How did you get on jc? I am thinking of trying the Dr Jay Gordon method, would love to hear how you've found it.

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jc50000 · 30/09/2012 23:08

After one night, DD came down with a bad cold and teething, so it didn't seem fair to continue! We are waiting until she is completely better before resuming the challenge. Actually - the first night was better than I expected. Between 11.30 and 6.30, she woke about 4 times. For 3 of those times, I fed her 'short' and after a bit of a grump (5mins or so), she did actually go back to sleep on her own. The exception was a good half hour of her crying and protesting while I held her. And I'm afraid I caved in! But on the whole, it did feel like it could have been the start of something - progress?!! Have you started yet bedhopper?