Chronically tired 7mo

[KentishMaid1977]

My 7mo never naps for more than 40 minutes at a time and she rarely sleeps for longer than 3 hours at a stretch at night (sometimes the wakings are even more frequent). Although I try to extend her naps by intervening the moment she stirs by shushing/rocking/pushing pushchair back and forth, it rarely works. This results in most of the daytime with her rubbing her eyes and grizzling. She has never been able to drift off to sleep by herself. Oh, how I?d love one of those babies who can nap in their jumperoo/highchair!

At night she just won?t settle before about 10 - 10.30pm. I?ve been trying to bring her bedtime forward as I know she needs to go to sleep before then. I start her bedtime routine at about 7.30pm. By about 8pm she?ll be asleep (by breastfeeding or rocking) but she?ll be awake 45 mins later. I then have to rock/feed again (I?m desperately trying to stop resorting to feeding to get her to sleep though, but sometimes this is the only thing that?ll work). She might then sleep for an hour, then I have to go through the rocking/feeding again. It?s so frustrating as quite often she?ll be ostensibly asleep in my arms, but the moment I put her down her eyes will ping open again. Pick her up, she?ll go to sleep immediately; put her down she?ll wake up. Last night it took about 5 or 6 attempts at putting her down. Eventually, at about 10pm she?ll sleep for a few hours. Her night-time wakings seem to get closer together as the night goes on (i.e. I might get 3 hours, 2 hours, 1 hour etc) By about 5.30am she really won?t settle back in her cot, at which point I bring her into bed and we?ll get another couple of hours.

I?ve tried leaving her when she wakes up to see if she self-settles and she used to be able to do this some of the time. Now she very quickly goes to being very awake and starts thrashing around her cot or she starts crying, so there is no chance she?ll drift off to sleep again by herself.

Sorry this is so long; I wanted to try to get everything down. Reading this back it feels as if we?re in a right mess and that she has become far too reliant on me to get to sleep. I?m shattered and feel as though I spend my entire time trying to get my baby to go to sleep.

Any advice/support welcome!

[haloflo]

Have you got a DH/DP - could he do some of the soothing? You sound like you need a break.

What about a radically earlier bedtime? Say 5.30/6?

What are her naps like? My DD (5.5 mo) is hard work when it comes to naps and only does 40 mins at a time (I can never intervene either). As a result I put her to bed at 6pm.

Can you nap with her? My DD will sometimes do an hour and a half if we nap together. Usually not though but its still 40 mins more sleep for me in the morning.

Occasionally she stirs after 45 mins but her dummy and musical seahorse soothe her back off. (Her eyes are open but fixed on the light so she doesn't wake herself up by looking round the room) Do you use anything like this? I know its moving the sleep associations to something else but it gives me some freedom!

When she is grizzling towards the end of the day i've found fresh air (slow amble with the pram) keeps her happy but awake.

My DD is still up 3/4 times a night though so i'm not the best person to ask but I can sympathise with you.

[KentishMaid1977]

Thanks Haloflo,

My DH does get up in the night to cuddle DD when she wakes up and starts to cry, but it seems that only I have the magic touch when it comes to being able to get her back to sleep :) I really want DH to work on this though as it does take a lot of perseverance to rock her to sleep, but he often gives up after a few minutes. And of course, I'm the only one with lactating boobs :)

Naps aren't great - need to either rock/feed/push in pram/drive to get her to sleep, then she'll go for 40-45 mins. I do sometimes lay down with her in the afternoons so I can get some rest too, but I guess I want to cut down on DD's reliance on me to sleep.

I don't have a musical seahorse. I'll have a look to see if I think it might help.

Hope your nightimes get better soon.

[haloflo]

Thank you. Me too!

Defiantly try to get your DH to persevere although I find I'm wide awake when mine tries to settle DD whereas he can sleep through her wakings. Usually I just settle her (mostly with boob) and then just grab a lie in when I can. I let DP put her down for naps at the weekend though. I hate those days when all you feel you've done is try to make the baby sleep.

Have you read the no cry sleep solution? Some good ideas in there although mostly common sense.

I hope you get an earlier night tonight.

[Iggly]

Really try and earlier bedtime. DS used to do the 45 mins waking thing after he first went down for the night until we made bedtime at 7 (with feed starting at 6.15 ish).

I would focus on getting more sleep for your DD then the self settling will come naturally - because it sounds like she's too tired to relax so needs your help!

Go with what works for naps - watch for tired signs and get her on the move and sleeping asap.

Also is she teething?

[MissWing]

Hiya Kentish

We're currently in exactly the same place as you. Just reading Elizabeth Pantley's no-cry sleep solution and it looks like the whole thing stems from our little cherub being totally overtired. I can see that now!

Just made our sleep plan- in force as of today. All the best and thanks for starting this thread.

[haloflo]

Just had a few very bad nights. As a result my DD was really tired over the weekend, waking up tired, tired after naps. I kept it really quiet yesterday, carried her a lot and let her play in her cot quite a lot. Hopefully today she is a bit more rested. Its easy to know its because they are overtired but harder to address.

I hope there are success stories soon.